Y’all, im so over this bias it’s not even funny. But it has to be addressed because its a living, breathing folklore of sorts and its picked up some heavy steam in the past few years.
I have always has an over sensitivity to the awareness of being perceive as masculine BECAUSE of my skin tone.
At one time, I decided that I would practice talking softer and vowed to find a superior hair gel that would lay down my edges for 8 hours straight; in doing so, I thought I could achieve the pinnacle of femininity [straight hair, with a soft spoken tone as a bonus].
I abandoned the voice lessons and got fed up of the self inflicted anxiety induced by my edges curdling back like clockwork every two hour.
I didn’t feel good about me.
And I because I was more stressed than confident while doing the hair strengthening, the skin lightening, the dressing different and the talking different, I finally mustered up the courage to say “Fuk It!”
Because I was imitating and mimicking what I was not biologically designed to be. And that put me in the category of a BEGGAR!
I don’t believe that the darkskin woman’s problem is that she isn’t feminine, I believe that her problem is her inability to respect who and what she is..
And I know you’ve got reasons and justifications for playing the game, like you need straight hair for your corporate job or you need to look this way because thats what brother’s are attracted too, but you will never be able to out-white a white woman, EVER!
We’ve got our on lane yuh know, an entire arena where we are the status quo, yet it is on the bottom..
But in my opinion, that’s not a bad thing. Any position you play within the social pecking order has rules, our problem as darkskin women is that it’s so obvious that we are trying to play in an arena we don’t belong in so that we can be accepted by other people that we actually PURCHASE our degradation with cash!
To emulate other women is to claim self neglect and a lack of self honoring. And it doesn’t falking matter “Why” you are doing it. We get no respect because we have none for ourselves.
And what’s even more asinine is that think we can shame people into including us; I waiting on the other side of the fence for y’all to finally figured out that the shaming-shyte doesn’t for fat women and it ain’t gonna work fir DARKSKIN women either!
Salkis Re is a Self Esteem Coach, Artist, Author, Poet who uses her creative gifts to help repair the emotional wounds of black women. You can find her work at: www.iloveherart.com And her coaching on You Tube