So I was thinking about Passive Aggressive men this morning and what I wanted to
say about them since some of you have emailed me with your concerns about how to avoid or manage passive aggressive men.
I want to you to understand how I think of these labels like
These are all fancy fartsy terms for people who are dedicated to getting you to do what they want you to do regardless if its hurtful or dangerous or selfish on their part.
The passive aggressive person will throw insults in the form of a question,
they will state opinions wrapped around the pretense of ignorance.
They will not come out and say what they feel because way back when they were young,
their opinions were shot down, so they’ve learned to spare themselves the pain of
rejection for the things they want by never being clear about what they feel or what they want..
The Pathological liar is usually egoistic and have low levels of self-pride.
One of their traits are that of story changing.
They usually cannot remember the previous lie, so they make up a completely new lie to keep the illusion going.
The Manipulator is one who exploits other people specifically for their own gain.
They are experts at fishing out a persons weaknesses
Here are 4 common traits of a Manipulator:
They know how to detect your weaknesses.
They use your weaknesses against you.
Through their shrewd effort, they convince you to give up something of yourself in order to serve their self-centered interests.
Once a manipulator succeeds in taking advantage of you, he or she will likely repeat the violation until you put a stop to the exploitation.
The Narcissist spends time demeaning outer people. It’s important for that person to make everyone around them feel small and insignificant.
A Narc needs constant approval and praise to feel self worth and has an abnormal feeling of gracious importance..
They exploit people without guilt or shame….
All these types of people TAKE without giving.
They demand from you what they do not feel the need to give in return.
They are all users, some aggressively, some not.
But they will all make you feel uncomfortable with who you are.
They will all make what you are asking for seem pointless and have a total disregard for your feelings whether by outright insults or sarcasm…
You “Handle” people like this by having your own agenda.
And your simple vow is to put yourself first at all times because someone who truly cares about you; they will not want to take anything from you that you don’t want to give, They will respect your boundaries and your feelings..
You handle them ALL by never doing anything you don’t feel comfortable with doing. You destroy their power by becoming a FELINE!!
Someone asked me to state my opinion about dark skin girls being represented in rap music because of some artist named Tory Lanez checking a video director for replacing a dark skin model with a light skin model for a video shoot.
My thoughts on being represented in rap videos is that it’s nothing to fight for or fight over.. We are ALREADY seen as sex objects to the world as black women.
From my vantage point, we are classified in two catergories. There’s the “Mamie” that nobody wants to fucc and the “Whore” that everybody wants to fucc.
We might get sprinkles of intellectual simulacrums here and there, but measured against the history of media and what’s put out for us to consume even to this day, they’re not even enough for an honorable mention…
I’m exhausted with topic, and the fact that women steadily want to rope into protests around colorism gets on my fuccing nerves actually.. Why?
Because even within the argument of segregation based on skin tone, dark skin women with small noses and small lips and small waistlines are the “Show Ponies” for the argument that we are just as attractive as any other woman, we just so happen to be dark skin..
Do you see ISSA GAME?
Hierarchy will ALWAYS exist, even amongst the oppressed…
Y’all want another panel discussion to justify your depression, your laziness, your misfortune?
Nobody owes you SELF ESTEEM!!
You are not going to get that by watching women who look you shake their ass on screen!
Media IS SOCERY. Media is MAGIC.
Makes you feel hopeful or helpless depending on the agenda..
So we must admit that we are like children.
We are affected emotionally by what we see even though we know it’s not real.
Cut off their supply of your energy.
Stop letting society VAMP on your emotions. Be SELF aware!
Who AM I?
I am an Ugly Girl who paints beautiful girls while helping women feel better about themselves
Inner Shame and Guilt That You Are Trying to Cover Up!
Listen, I know it’s “shameful” to call yourself UGLY.. I get it, truly.. It feels icky and degrading and self deprecating and whatever other
fancy word you’ve found in your thesaurus to use..
But guess what? It’s everything that you ALREADY feel about yourself too!
So what are we doing here?
We are EXPOSING OURSELVES so that we can disarm the inner critic.
This is the only way to get to the root of our emotions so that we can fishing out the inner sabotage that happens on a daily basis.
Everything you feel that hold any negative connotation is tied into the way you look. VANITY is a woman’s curse.
It keeps us under control, it makes us obedient servants to those whom we feel can provide us an identity…
We look to others for this validation all day, every day.
And if other women seem to have more beauty than we do, we cease trying to better ourselves as we slump into the normality of GIVING UP.
Vanity is a CURSE. It destroys your ability to discern, to think clearly, to judge others justly and skews the perception of our TRUE worth…
You gotta embrace it..
The word Ugly is the key that unlocks the door to your mind in order to unleash your power!
Be sure to grab your copy of Ooh Let Me Write That Down. It is over 200 pages of life wisdom quotes. One of the most profound, life changing books you will ever read. Learn how men really see you. How to navigate through manipulation so that you can stop be a victim or a door mat!
It Must be emotionally exhausting carrying around feelings of self doubt of your low self worth every day of your life right?
You wake up unexcited, barely looking at yourself in the mirror and if you do, you grimmace with dissapointment at your reflection! Day in, day out, the same secret sentiments of self loathe and dissatisfaction infect your mind…
If you keep waking up like this, where do you think you are headed?
You want some relief…
I know… Cause I was exhausted feeling fu8ked up about myself too. I felt jacked up because I believed the corrupted side of my imagination!
I talked myself into believing that I was stupid, unworthy of successand love,
and in my mind, everyone around me presumed they same things that I assumed about myself..
So I decide one day to acknowledge that I had FEAR. FEAR of rejection. FEAR of failure. FEAR of being alone. And every decision I made or avoided, was because I used my (corrupted) imagination to convince me that my failure was almost a guarantee.
SO I suppressed my desires.
I spent a lot of years being quiet and careful not to say too much because (as a ‘stupid’ woman) I thought I’d probably say the wrong thing.
I spent a lot of years being quiet and careful not to say too
much because (as a ‘stupid’ woman) I thought I’d probably say the wrong thing. I had decided back then, to be “compliant” and “submissive” to avoid pain and rejection…
And guess what happened? Pain and rejection came ANYWAY!! PAIN AND NO RESULTS is all this way of thinking got me.
Is this how you live right now? Is this your Every Day Life?. Are you Scared to start? Scared to even want what you want?
Even at the expense of your own safety and emotional stability. BUT you still get no results! So what does change require? *It requires you to FAIL. **It needs for to prepared to TAKE RISKS. It requires that you GO FOR BROKE while obtaining guidance, while developing your skill for measurable SELF improvement !
SELF LOVE is the foundation that success is created on! And you need to LEARN HOW to love yourself. I’m the only black woman who can truly help change your lowly
thinking and your proclivities towards self defeatism .
AND: You won’t have to be 20 years younger to do it! An hourglass shape is not need to do it! It’s not in creating stipulations that you don’t have to
inspiration, the discipline or the biology to meet! You are going to focus ONLY on what you CAN DO!! This is how you will get what you want of life!. Lets Get It!
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Leave a comment to let me know how you feel about what I’ve said..