Stop Playing Small!

Some of us are wasting away at life.
The Great Pretenders I call them.
You are Afraid to make a mistake, and afraid to get your heart broken again.
So you wallow in denial of what you want

AND deny your responsibility in the results you’ve gotten so far.
Everything you could have been will die with you; that is the life you are living right now…

 

 

 

Goddess art

I refuse to conform.

To cower down into obscurity.

I wasn’t born to live an uneventful life, and neither are you!

I wasn’t born for people to have something to shame and ridicule for my nappy hair and big lips, and neither are you!

I want born for people to tell me I’m not smart enough for what I want to have, and neither are you!

And YOU weren’t born to live in quiet desperation, to play it safe to avoid pain.

Your trauma is your SCHOOL, and you are conditioned to lead because you survived it.
But you sit back and do nothing with all that experience you have.

You prefer to wallow and feel sorry for yourself like you earn money to be upset.

 

 

Abstract portrait painting
Art by Salkis RE

 

What does it benefit you to live in fear today?
How will your life be better out of your decision not to take a chance?
People need to know that they can do it, and you might be the only example of this,

but you’ve designed life that ensure that they will NEVER meet you.

A disservice is what you create in 360 degree form when you make decisions based on fear.
Its time to GET UP.

If you Need me to assist you, I am HERE

 

 

 

 

“Black Men DO Not Want Black Women???”

Written by Salkis Re
 
Begging of any kind immediately puts you in a subordinate position.
Stop harassing these black women that you “think” do not what to date you.black love
It doesn’t make a difference and NEWS FLASH,
you can’t SHAME men not changing their minds about where they want to insert their penises.
It is a totally waste of energy, and it send a message that you are insecure about your own self worth.
There is a power in SILENCE that is unequivocal to any vocalized aggression against black men who date outside their race.
 
And until YOU stop with your own hypocrisy, the double standards of who gets a pass when you YOURSELF are praying for an opportunity to have a mixed baby or a
Light skin child, when you stop supporting those swirling channels that get MILLIONS of views AND SUBSCRIBERS,
you stop beauty practices that reflected an alignment with what you CANNOT BE BIOLOGICALLY,
then and only then can we effectively take a position of “Injustice” with the vehicle of self honor and self respect and truth behind in.
 
You try to denigrate what you secretly have affection for.
You say you HATE when you really admire and privately wish
the cards of life would have dealt a different hand to you.
I have participated in the hypocrisy for many, MANY years.
I had a chip on my shoulder for light skin women for any woman
who appeared to be mixed race or who claimed blackness while enjoying ambiguity.
I went through a stage in high school were I relaxed my edges EVERY WEEEK!!.
Yeah, as soon as then naps started forming, I take a little tooth brush and zap that shit away.
I wanted no part of my blackness, and I hated other women because they didn’t have to go through what I went through.
Not being shut after sexually is a crushing blow to a girls self esteem here in America.
Because here in American, beauty is regarded as VIRTUE, as TRUTH, As GOODNESS.
abstract art
But beauty that comes from the validation of men always leads to self esteem issues.
It always leads to disease and mental instability.
Why?
Because his “love” for you is based on what he sees and this means that
you experience differences in your relationship when your looks start to change.
Beauty as a vehicle for companionship is a necessity, but approaching beauty as a “tool” rather than the sum total of your
self worth is a more balanced way to be because then you can manage
“change” and you will do things to maintain your beauty that are more productive
and nourishing to your body instead of destructive and corrosive to your physical form…
The bottom line is this: When you BEG, you get their PITY, Nothing more.
“Black Love” starts with you!
 
“Medicine Woman”
~Salkis Re
Art by Salkis RE

Men Want Women To Like Them!

Men are curious creatures ready to play.

The problem is that they have no conscious about “playing” with YOUR life and your emotions.

Given the opportunity they will test you, and the testing assists them in finding a way into your heart.

That’s all courtship is really.

Courtship is the process of making you feel good while he takes you through behavioral modification.

Beautiful Black women with thick locs
Artist/Life Coach ~Salkis Re

 

 

 

His job is to alter your perception, to make you feel something for him,

to move away from your normal programming so you will want to fit him into your life..

So what’s the true tea here?

DECEPTION and COURTSHIP go hand in hand.

But it’s a beautiful thing. Courtship is seduction and seduction feels really good

because it allows us the opportunity to escape reality through his pleasantries..

Except it.

Expect it.

 

Because you’re doing also, you are doing it so he can fall in love, and he’s doing it so he can fuck you into loving him!

And the gag is that men will lay the burden of truth on you.

They will say that “you should’ve know better” or “you should’ve chosen better”

which is an admission that you shouldn’t choose with your heart but with your heart.

But the quagmire here is that they don’t feel that you value them UNTIL you display an emotional investment in them.

 

So what should you do?

Should you maintain your reasonableness and risk being viewed as a contemptuous,

heartless-bitch, or do you strive for creating a “real” emotional bond,

throw caution to the wind, and give him what he desires most?

I’d say that your lane oscillates between the two.

You want to show that you are interested, but not gullible.

You want be kind, but not compromising.

You want to be optimistic, yet sensible and observant.

You cannot be just one or the other because on one end you’ll look like a desperate fool,

and other you’ll look like a desperate bitch!

Thick Locs
iLoveHerArt.com

Most men will talk your panties down are pimps.

And pimps are: smooth talking ramblers who speak in ELOQUENT INSINCERITY.

Know this, what he wants to do, what he would like to do,
what he wishes he could do,
what he’s “going” to do
and what he’s thinking about doing have NOTHING to do with you!!
Making decisions about the direction of your life based on the “hypothetical” indecisions of men will be round about the time you make your biggest misjudgment.

 

All these do is serve to create a “feeling” that “something”

is about to be done so you can gamble on your faith that it will.

So the order of the day is to take optimal care of yourself FIRST!

This means that you trust your instincts;

you move only when you are comfortable;

you keep your purpose and your mission in the forefront of your mind

ALWAYS! And know that what he offers you has to be in line with your purpose PERIOD!

 

If you need to talk, I’m HERE

Being a Witch Over Your Life!

So today lets talk about you.
Why are you so afraid of people? Why do you care more about what they think about you, than what you think about yourself?

Doesn’t make sense right?
But you do it! You will spend the majority of your life doing it until you become old and with grouchy chip on your shoulders inspired by the reality that you have to face.

 

What’s that reality?
That you’ve wasted your life…

That is where you are headed if you don’t grow a new set of ovaries and get on with living.
Failure is UNAVOIDABLE.
But it’s not humiliating .
It will not diminish your value.

Failure is merely a blueprint of what NOT to do anymore.
And isn’t it a good thing to know what you should avoid?
Isn’t knowing a generally self serving thing that makes you wise!?

The Wiz

Ain’t you tired of playing yourself small to save face?
Are you not bored to tears with all this “playing it safe” that you are doing?

Are you getting more love and more LIFE for your lack of effort?

Are people respecting you more because they never see you make a mistake?

Are you satisfied with doing the same thing you’ve done for the last 10 years of your life?

No growth.
No change.

 

Yet you are not standing still. You are not moving forward with any of your goals, but you are on a slow decline.

That is scary: Moving downward instead of upward I mean.

Your actions are your magic wand you know.

You are the MAGI, the magician, The Fairy Godmother over your own life!!

But you sit there staring at the wand/your talents scared to use it because you are afraid of the outcome.

 

 

NEWS FLASH!!!

You will never be able to control the “outcome” of anything you do.
But you CAN control the PROCESS of getting there. What you toil on, what you practice daily is what you have 100% control over!
FOCUS ON THAT!!!!!!!

 

 

And release yourself from he anxiety over the end result.

The end result turn out to be less than you were hoping for,

or BETTER than your wildest dreams,

but doing NOTHING ensures that NOTHING will happen either way.

GET UP!!

Dorothy in the Wiz

So I’m gonna tell you to walk through your trials  just like Dorothy did.

Walk through it to find what you are made of,

and you will realize just like she did that **THE POWER WAS WITHIN YOU ALL ALONG!**

 

 

Thick Locs
Artist?Life Coach ~Salkis RE

 

Who Am I?
A Magi!
A Medicine Woman
AND and **ARTIST on a crusade to create a quiet revolution and **mental freedom** for women of color,

I have dedicated my life mission and purpose to helping your find that sweet spot, that hole that unlocks the key to color your black and white life…

I was afraid just like you.
And sometimes I still am, but I WELCOME THE PROCESS and invite you to do the same.<-

If you need me, find me :HERE

No Reason to Love a Woman Like You!!

“Emotional Decisions”
 
Decisions made by the heart alone NEVER stick.
And this is why decisions made solely from an emotional place ALWAYS END.
Sometimes quickly… Most times quickly actually.
Him loving you doesn’t compel him to stay, does it?
You loving him doesn’t mean you don’t want to leave, does it?
 
So why do you stay? And why does he leave?
Because BOTH of you give it some thought.
You start weighing your options as you try to figure out a reason to NOT to carry out that conclusion your emotions offered you…
Kloe Kardashian and
 
Some people are not mentally stable enough to allow themselves time to think things through.
The ole saying “Let me sleep on it” is real and necessary to get your mind back into the rational space to give the final YES or NO.
 
Love is a scam in that way really.
You are loved today, and forgotten tomorrow based on “feelings”
I tell no lies here today.
You know its true because you have been with past lovers who you
swore you’d spend the rest of your life with that are barely even a fleeting thought now.
 
And so it is…
When you ask him “why” he loves you and he answers you with a “just because” RUN!!!
Run like a bat outa hell looking for fresh blood!
RUN like you’re in hell with gasoline draws on because you
know you are with someone who DOESN’T have a concrete reason to STAY with you.
Will and Jada Smith
 
Emotions make the decision and Logic KEEPS people together: NOT EMOTIONS...
You can decide to accept this or not, it’s certainly up to you as we all are resonating on different frequencies.
But if you’ve been “burned” by love, puzzled at how a person can love you and still hurt you,
perplexed that you’ve reached a space of loneliness when you thought you found your soul mate,
then this message is most definitely for you to eat and digest.
I know, I know, but Salkis there are happily married couples who have been together for blah blah blah amount of time,
so true love does exist, that’s what you are saying.
At least that’s what the seminars tell you, and they’d better tell you that cause you are paying good money for “HOPE”
I am not saying that love does not exist, Im saying that love is erratic, and inconsistent, therefore unreliable as a stand alone measure of the value of a relationship.
Have you ever stopped and asked yourself why you fell in love with him?
DL Hugley
What were your reasons for that emotion?
Was he cute in the face? Nice beard? Bow-legged?
Did he f*(k the shit out you till you came 4 times in a row?
What was it that conjured up the I can’t live without you feeling?
It was probably something that felt good of course.
Some action he performed that produced a feel good moment that became repetitious ,
and before you knew it, you couldn’t see life without HIM in it!
But aside from the rigors and the conflicts and the betrayal, relationships can sharpen you as a person.
They can teach you what you like or don’t like or didn’t know about yourself.
Lovers have an uncanny way of showing you who you really are by creating hardship and challenges for you to overcome.
And if you do manage to snag a person that can hang in there with all your baggage,
you too can assist him in becoming better person as well.
While unpleasant, STRUGGLE LOVE is an opportunity you invite into your lives to “expose” for The initial purpose of an escape,
but on the back end, a miraculous thing happens and you start to dance with The Real YOU.
Learn the lesson and endure or move on….
Take the “Black Pill”
“Medicine Woman”
~Salkis RE
 If you need to talk, find me HERE

Slave Mentality

As a business owner, I have to wear many hats. I am a marketer, a creator, a branding ambassador, a sales person, a counselor and sooooo many other things.

It’s HARD work. But the reward is that I get to call my own shots and for me, that position is priceless.

The road of self sufficiency is for lunatics!!

Yeah, I admit it!

You have to be crazy to actually try to salvage your freedom by working for yourself when it’s so much easier to work someone else’s 9-5.

DO your 8 hours and clock out, then rest of it is for someone else to worry about cause you are off the clock!

I have come to the conclusion that most of us do not want freedom.

Yep! Sad but true.

Most people just want to be comfortable, not FREE.

Just a little more paid vacation time. 5 dollars more an hour would feel like a life changing event for most.

And they’d take it willingly too.

That is all your time is worth?

A dollar or two more an hour plus “overtime” and you’d grind until your knuckles bleed for the bottom line of someone else you NEVER even see.

The listen to what someone ( who is barely more qualified than you) tell when to take a lunch or when you can leave. Grrrrrrrrrrrr!

Get’s me hot just typing this!

I’m doing this post to jolt you!

A lot of you women I coach  want to be entrepreneurs, but you’re too scared to make the start.

You are thinking about failure before you even try.

You think that ship has sailed and that you missed your boat of opportunity and correct timing.

ALL LIES!!

There is nothing more precious than time: NOTHING!!

And the time you spend toiling for someone else, working all that overtime hours for the Uncle Sam to take half of,

could be spent planting seeds for your personal growth and development.

You could be creating the next million dollar idea on those night and weekends.

You could be perfecting that invention instead of looking for an escape from the thought of going back to work come Monday morning..

TODAY IS A NEW PAGE OF YOUR LIFE

Will your story be boring, repetitious, filled with horrors?

Your actions are you pen… so write a story you’d be proud to tell…

“Medicine Woman”

~Salkis Re

“Sexual Abuse Happens to Every Woman”

All women I have had the pleasure of talking to,
coaching with, friendships and associates have a sexual abuse story from their past: ALL OF THEM!
It was an uncle here, a stepfather there, an older cousin here,
a brother there, a boyfriend over here, and a husband after that, and so on and so on…..

I remember when I was it the 4th grade, I got dragged behind a tree by this boy that I actually had a crush on.
I asked him what he was doing and he slammed me against the tree and started dry humping me.
My face was bruised cause he held my neck against the trunk of the tree so that I couldn’t move..

I started crying. Then he laughed, backed off, and ran away…
I stood there picking bits of tree trunk off my face, shaken, feeling ashamed and really confused like what the fuck just happened here!
But he laughing so I wasn’t sure if what he’d just done was even wrong.

No ‘I’m sorry’ was said, he just laughed when he saw my tears.
So I thought that maybe I was perceiving it wrong…

Isn’t that what we always do?
Second guess ourselves and our feelings because HE won’t own up to his actions…

No penetration physically happened, but a disruption of my self worth and confidence sure did!


Why?
Because I secretly LIKED that boy.
Which means I looked up to him.
And because I liked him and he didn’t like me:
it meant that HE was BETTER than me…..

This is the typical pattern that starts after you’ve been physically violated.
You don’t trust yourself anymore, you feel in your heart that the pain inflicted is somehow what you deserved..
And every relationship you seek, only aids in solidifying your false sense of low worth…

Wives aren’t exempt from this either, in fact, a lot of them are simply “under contract” to be abused because you have taken the “I’m powerless’ position..

So he gets to tell you he doesn’t like your body while he’s fucking you because he pays the mortgage. He gets to tell you that he thinks you are stupid while he rides your back to relieve his stress. He gets to blame you for his dik not being able to hold an erection, but as the “good wife” you swallow and wallow quietly in degradation because that ring says you have NO voice.

But you can repair your heart and mind..

Your heart can heal,
your emotions can stabilize when you finally come to realization of what men are,
what they can and CANNOT do for you, and the proper order of importance they fit in..

So The Maxims For Today Are:

Do NOT second guess YOURSELF anymore…
What you SEE IS what you GET…
There is NO BENEFIT IN A DOUBT,
So DON’T give the BENEFIT OF A DOUBT.
DISMISS ANY talk that calls to question your perception of reality…
And remember, you CANNOT have SELF CONFIDENCE when you Do Not trust YOUR feelings…

Aummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

African American Women in witch craft
Artist/Life Coach/Medicine Woman ~Salkis Re
The Black Hat Society”
“Life Coach”
“Artist”
“Medicine Woman”
~Salkis Re
Art by Salkis Re
If you are in need of private relationship consulting, emotional and spiritual wellness guidance, please contact me here

“How Do You Get a Man to Love You? “

 

Beautiful Black Women
Life CoachArtist ~Salkis Re

Well there are a few hard truths to swallow before you can position yourself for that possibility.
Some things that you will have to do are:
🌼1)Bite your tongue.
🌼2)Swallow your pride.
🌼3) Be charming.
🌼4)Play dumb.
🌼5)Act helpless.
🌼6) Stay away from intoxicants.
🌼7) Have excellent hygiene.
🌼8) Dress to compliment your form,
🌼9)Workout.
🌼10) Eat right.
🌼11) Pray.
🌼12) Do not upstage him with your intellect.
🌼13) Do not act like you can’t live without sex.
🌼14) Do not have sex too frequently because your “novelty” will wear off faster than is beneficial to you.
🌼15) Act like you are accustomed to nice things.
🌼16) Make sure you are more good looking than he is, preferably 3-5 points higher in the scale.
🌼17) Resist being argumentative because this is a sign that you care. And you shouldn’t.
🌼18) Do not check up on him or grill him about whereabouts.
🌼19) Do not consider procreation with him until you have been Married for a while because being a mother is a “little death” towards your “sexual attractiveness”..

🌼🌼20) This one’s most important. Allow a man to “pick” you. Do not fall for the sexual liberation trap that makes you think you can discern interest in a man that YOU desire, you’ll end up giving him pussy he didn’t need to perform to get.

Motivational Quotes
Aritist/ Life Coach
~Salkis Re

Do NOT pursue a man you have to convince will like your “type” i.e.(fat, dark, shorthair, skinny),

That, “You don’t know what your missing” sales pitch: piss on it and let it burn cause you are setting yourself up for “pick me” abuse.

Final words, by no means is this a comprehensive list, it is merely a foundation to build on to the other things that must be done that require mentalism and self control.

Love Doesn’t exist in romantic relationships, this is why you HAVE to do all the steps I listed to coax those feelings out of him.

When you accept that love is a game, and an unfair one at that, then you will move your mind out of the conflict of right and wrong with what you MUST do to position yourself as a woman of value.

AND………
Get over your tug of war.
Get over this happily ever after that you are ashamed you don’t have yet.
Respect the wisdom your experience has bestowed upon you.
Stop thinking that the TRUTH is sad..
Take the “BLACK PILL”
And gain control of your emotions.

Amen, Amun, Ameen
“The Black Hat Society”
~Salkis Re

Witches
Salkis Re, Artist/ Author/Poet/Life Coach

Love Who Loves You!

Native American Art
Artist, Life Coach ~Salkis Re

 

When we women realize that love is the manipulated emotion a human being with ever have??

I am talking about romantic love…

There is nothing NATURAL about it.

Two people come together hiding what they are ashamed of, making promises/DEALS for what they intend to give each other IF one or the other subscribes to the SALES PITCH…

Then after some time together, each person oozes out their darker side, their unreasonable side, the side that was being held back right until the perfect time to reveal the venom and the devilish tendencies to the other person…

 

Then after a few emotional events, many some good sex and a lot of time together, they decide to pair bond and cuff each other down for the duration…

That is what love amounts too..

But it is STILL an awesome deal, relationships that is…

It is still one of the most satisfying things a woman can do!

Children come from that deal, and if two people can find common ground,

they actually can make each other BETTER souls on this earth…

Its just not a fairytale is all…

Its work, struggle,  and a great deal of disappointment,

but its better than going through life alone and unchallenged.

My opinion…

 

“PUT ON YOUR BLACK HAT”
Life Coach| Artist| Author| Poet
~Salkis Re
Art by Salkis Re

Beautiful African American Women
Life Coach, Salkis Re

So if any of this resonates with you, and you want MORE wisdom personalized to help you fight your insecurities and mediocre relationships, I am your girl.

Why me? Cause I’ve been the underdog for most of my life.

While a painful position it has been, it was also a gift, because people rarely were pretentious around me. People are only compelled to pretentiousness if they feel the need to “Impress” you.

They didn’t with me,  BUT this gave me the opportunity to see into people’s souls, to see the true nature of men AND women..

Don’t come to me if you want to feel good. I don’t do any of that. You come to me to solve your problems and most of the time it will not be pleasant, but it will FREE YOU!

Click HERE

 

 

“Single Mothers are a HUGE Liability?”

 

The discussion about single mothers as potential wives came up on my recent You Tube Video… My response is REALITY, not filled with idealism or optimism for that matter. My posting this dialog for YOUNG ladies who do NOT have children yet.
Take Heed…

Male Viewer Comment:
I think love and relationships are more complex. If my son married a woman with a child, i would be happy for him.
Perhaps HE could be the only hero in the child’s life.

Child or no child, the woman should be a loving person. I hope that she would be less Machiavellian…less jaded.
************************************************************************
My Response:
Every woman who HAS a past is “jaded” to some degree. And if she was left a single mother, she should be EXTREMELY cautious in safeguarding against a repeating choices that led her there in the first place.
A single mother comes with extra scars, but if her motivation is strong enough, she CAN compensate for the any emotional shortcomings by concentration on her what is virtuous about her. But the “jaded” part really applies to ANY woman who has had sperm inside of her.
It creates a touch of lunacy in us all to be honest..

 

 

Abstract Portrait Painting
“Holding On To Love” Art by Salkis RE CLICK HERE

 

Male Viewer Comment:
Salkis Re Most women I know with one child say it is best thing that ever happened to them.
However, i understand what you are saying about exercising caution.

Do you think single men who have full custody of a child also lack a certain amount of character?
*****************************************************************************

My Response:
And why do you think women say that? I will tell you. It’s because for the FIRST time, they are experiencing TRUE love.

A man who has full custody of his children exemplifies compassion and emotional connect to his children even when he could have walked away. That is different, its “Noble” even.

Loving Single-motherS

WHY?
Because he is not expected to “want” to shoulder all the Responsibility like women. A woman’s value is in question because when “She” brings other mens children, she brings “bills”, she brings a “something must be wrong with you for him to walk from you and your children” UNLIKE the single father.

WHY?
Because she is looking to be cared for by a man. And because of this, for her, it is a FLAW, and a REDUCTION in her MARKETABILITY because she requires MORE output of his resources as well as the expectation to muster up some sort of LOVE and CARE for children that are not is own.

BIG Liability! Especially when men struggle to communicate and show interest/emotional concern for children that are biologically his.

Not what women want to hear and not what men would admit…..

“Black Hat Wisdom”
~Salkis RE

If you are looking for someone to talk to about your love life or anything you need help figuring out, please do not hesitate to contact me. Yo can reach me at salkis@iloveherart.com or book a session with me if your are ready to rock and roll!