Love Who Loves You!

Native American Art
Artist, Life Coach ~Salkis Re

 

When we women realize that love is the manipulated emotion a human being with ever have??

I am talking about romantic love…

There is nothing NATURAL about it.

Two people come together hiding what they are ashamed of, making promises/DEALS for what they intend to give each other IF one or the other subscribes to the SALES PITCH…

Then after some time together, each person oozes out their darker side, their unreasonable side, the side that was being held back right until the perfect time to reveal the venom and the devilish tendencies to the other person…

 

Then after a few emotional events, many some good sex and a lot of time together, they decide to pair bond and cuff each other down for the duration…

That is what love amounts too..

But it is STILL an awesome deal, relationships that is…

It is still one of the most satisfying things a woman can do!

Children come from that deal, and if two people can find common ground,

they actually can make each other BETTER souls on this earth…

Its just not a fairytale is all…

Its work, struggle,  and a great deal of disappointment,

but its better than going through life alone and unchallenged.

My opinion…

 

“PUT ON YOUR BLACK HAT”
Life Coach| Artist| Author| Poet
~Salkis Re
Art by Salkis Re

Beautiful African American Women
Life Coach, Salkis Re

So if any of this resonates with you, and you want MORE wisdom personalized to help you fight your insecurities and mediocre relationships, I am your girl.

Why me? Cause I’ve been the underdog for most of my life.

While a painful position it has been, it was also a gift, because people rarely were pretentious around me. People are only compelled to pretentiousness if they feel the need to “Impress” you.

They didn’t with me,  BUT this gave me the opportunity to see into people’s souls, to see the true nature of men AND women..

Don’t come to me if you want to feel good. I don’t do any of that. You come to me to solve your problems and most of the time it will not be pleasant, but it will FREE YOU!

Click HERE

 

 

“Single Mothers are a HUGE Liability?”

 

The discussion about single mothers as potential wives came up on my recent You Tube Video… My response is REALITY, not filled with idealism or optimism for that matter. My posting this dialog for YOUNG ladies who do NOT have children yet.
Take Heed…

Male Viewer Comment:
I think love and relationships are more complex. If my son married a woman with a child, i would be happy for him.
Perhaps HE could be the only hero in the child’s life.

Child or no child, the woman should be a loving person. I hope that she would be less Machiavellian…less jaded.
************************************************************************
My Response:
Every woman who HAS a past is “jaded” to some degree. And if she was left a single mother, she should be EXTREMELY cautious in safeguarding against a repeating choices that led her there in the first place.
A single mother comes with extra scars, but if her motivation is strong enough, she CAN compensate for the any emotional shortcomings by concentration on her what is virtuous about her. But the “jaded” part really applies to ANY woman who has had sperm inside of her.
It creates a touch of lunacy in us all to be honest..

 

 

Abstract Portrait Painting
“Holding On To Love” Art by Salkis RE CLICK HERE

 

Male Viewer Comment:
Salkis Re Most women I know with one child say it is best thing that ever happened to them.
However, i understand what you are saying about exercising caution.

Do you think single men who have full custody of a child also lack a certain amount of character?
*****************************************************************************

My Response:
And why do you think women say that? I will tell you. It’s because for the FIRST time, they are experiencing TRUE love.

A man who has full custody of his children exemplifies compassion and emotional connect to his children even when he could have walked away. That is different, its “Noble” even.

Loving Single-motherS

WHY?
Because he is not expected to “want” to shoulder all the Responsibility like women. A woman’s value is in question because when “She” brings other mens children, she brings “bills”, she brings a “something must be wrong with you for him to walk from you and your children” UNLIKE the single father.

WHY?
Because she is looking to be cared for by a man. And because of this, for her, it is a FLAW, and a REDUCTION in her MARKETABILITY because she requires MORE output of his resources as well as the expectation to muster up some sort of LOVE and CARE for children that are not is own.

BIG Liability! Especially when men struggle to communicate and show interest/emotional concern for children that are biologically his.

Not what women want to hear and not what men would admit…..

“Black Hat Wisdom”
~Salkis RE

If you are looking for someone to talk to about your love life or anything you need help figuring out, please do not hesitate to contact me. Yo can reach me at salkis@iloveherart.com or book a session with me if your are ready to rock and roll!

Sex Should Frighten you!

“Sex and Women”
Written by Salkis Re

Listen to me my little flowers. Women stay sweet the less men are inside of them.

This something not promoted because it doesn’t exploit our emotions and if our emotions aren’t exploited, no one makes money.

Sex is a death ritual.

Sex is a  “giving up” of your soul to another soul.

Sex is A sacrifice.

Sex is  A melding together of thoughts,

emotions,

feelings,

bacteria,

shyte,

puss, and sputum(saliva/phlegm) and all his Specters too.

Sex should FRIGHTEN every woman.

black art

But the technology of contraception has given us a false sense of fearlessness while it promotes reckless abandon.

But guess what hasn’t changed: Your feelings!

Technology has assisted in helping us as women ACT like men.

And so the bastard children come, no father’s to shield them, no protection and guidance from men.

Why?
Because we are no longer “afraid” of the consequences of sex.

Your body is a receiver and a recorder of everything that goes into it.

black women with locs
Life Coach/Artist ~Salkis Re

Sperm isn’t designed to be inside you.

Your body sends out white blood cells to “fight” the “infection” called “sperm” because it

sees it as a foreign bacteria that shouldn’t be there.

This is why you should pray before sex.
This why he should pray over you before sex.

This is why you should be Committed to each other before sex.
This is also why you should not over indulge in sex.
Love and Light
~Salkis Re

So Who Am I?

African American art
“Artist/Life Coach”
~Salkis Re

Well, Im a black woman.

A black woman who low self worth, low self esteem and self doubt for much of my life. I never felt like I belonged anywhere, well at least anywhere I wanted to be. So I adopted an aggressive, over sensitive attitude to protect myself from being hurt by people. I tried to do things to face like skin bleaching and severe weight loss diets in hopes of transforming myself into a gorgeous woman entitled to respect and love.

I did so many things under the guise of self improvement and ended up damaging by physical body while creating more to hate about myself.

I’ve learned a lot along the way to self efficacy.  And it didn’t come from new make up techniques or having longer hair.

It really came from facing my demons and all the repetitive dialog I had in my head about my self worth.

In my awakening, a heightened level of creativity emerged.black artists

A new level of femininity and my own brand of sensuality came to the surface too.

I want to show you how to accept who you are, TOTALLY and open the flood gates to your own authentic, wild, unconventional representation of your best self. FLAWS AND ALL.

If that sounds like something that you want, please give me a shout by email: salkis@iloveherart.com

Or if you are ready to take the chance and take a plunge, book a session HERE

To Be Like Her Means You Kill Yourself!

“What Woman Are You?”

Faith in yourself is built on a foundation of work not hope or prayer or wishing.
You have a mind and you know what you “should be doing”, yet you wrestle with yourself.

You allow other women to rate your your level of competence and relevance on a

“fact sheet” derived from their summations if how you look.
Women perpetuate division and the casting of other women, and we are fervently vicious in that regard.

So where is this fairness that nostalgically speak of, cause I’ve never seen it!
Worried about what the next woman has but you do nothing

outside the level of laziness to change your own condition, to improve yourself.

Everybody’s FUGAZI out here:Everybody!!

 

Black Women with Locs
“Thinking of You” Art by Salkis Re

Listen woman, yeah you!
What do you know about women? If you are a woman, you should quite a bit,

but if you are liar to yourself you might struggle in seeing under the veil of those around you.

I said before and I will say it again so that you can Direct your energy to pursuits that will pay you dividends.

You are unlike any other woman.

This is a fact.
And this means that you have to own that.
And accept what comes with that.

The fact that you are unlike other women means that there is no such thing as equality.

To execute Equality would mean that you and I were born at the same time,

have the same anatomical structure, emotional development, share the same IQ, biological functions and so on.
But we do not.
And it’s because you and I cannot physically, mentally nor emotionally

be identical that we should not spend one fucking moment fretting over “comparisons”.

I Wanted to Be So Many Things..

 

I am not academically astute. I struggled in school something awful. I thought I wanted to be a Nurse,

but I hated blood. I wanted to be a Lawyer but my self esteem was to low to accept that vision.

I wanted to be a Clinical Psychologist but the amount of schooling for that just disgusted me.

What was I looking for above all else? To be “somebody”.

I thought an academic route would give me the respect and the love that my esthetics could not afford me.
Everything I used to do was for THEM to accept me.

For black people to care about me, for white people to respect me, for men to Love me etc…

abstract portrait painting
“Love You Anyway” African American Art by Salkis Re

Chasing what I wasn’t designed to do or be took a massive chunk out of my life!

Don’t waste time.
Read what I’m about to say carefully, this is the KEY to success.

Figure out what you are capable of being and then figure out what you are willing to SACRIFICE to become that.

Please understand that you must choose your “SACRIFICE”

or should I say the “PRICE” you are willing to pay to be the woman you want to be.

Why?
Because everything COSTS.
And if you don’t choose your SUFFERING (yes I said suffering)

deliberately, you will end up sacrificing something

other than what’s needed to become the woman you aspire to be!
Be what you want to be, but being what you CAN be trumps ALL!

 

Click the link under my picture to buy Black Art, and if you need PRIVATE COACHING SESSIONS

on matters of self esteem, relationships, wellness and sexuality .

Please Click Here

So Who Am I?

Artist/Life Coach/ Medicine Woman
~Salkis Re
Art by Salkis Re

They Said You’re Ugly, And They Are Right!!!!

They Are Right About how you look!

When you are told over and over again that you are unattractive,
I want you to consider that “they”
might have just cause for saying it.
 
Now before you berate me or try simulate
“outrage” to go along with your other displaced emotions,
I would like for you to simply consider
what you are “projecting”, moreso than what you “look” like.

Approval Addiction Makes You Unattractive!

Your beauty, or “lack there of”, comes from
the showcasing of your anxiety and need for approval.
AND when you, BLACK girl, “conform” in any way,
you WILL display an improper fit and show
the world that you own no identity outside
of what you’ve been given.

You Wear your Insecurities On Your Sleeve

African American Art
                   Black Girl Magic by Salkis Re
 
And you sojourn while thinking you are
making progress, but you are stuck.
But you stay committed to the clownish makeup
while wearing clothes that will not compliment your form
with hairstyles that resemble assembly line wigs
at the China Man’s beauty supply store.
All of this will affect you swift “invisibility” to men.

Conformity KILLS Beauty

And the irony is that in your attempt to be
what Society considers beautiful, you become MORE unattractive,
BECAUSE you’ve positioned yourself
as a substandard DUPLICATE of what you CANNOT be,
a walking, talking, mannequin that represents
a type of woman whom you’ve decided is “better” that yourself.
 
And you think these facts can be “hidden” around glamor.
You can only suppress yourself emotions for so long: they will eventually burst forth to tell the truth of all you hide.
 

Beauty is NOT anxiety driven, it’s Peace based.

It is the personalization of what you were born
to represent in an unapologetically creative way.
 
And that peace within you will start to relax your furrowed lines on your face.
And that peace will cause your skin to glow.
And that peace will make your voice sound soothing to hear.
And that peace gives room for your individuality to be expressed.
And that peace makes grace hover over you.
And that peace makes you a moving meditation.
And that peace makes you enjoy caring for yourself.
And that peace will attraction men to you.
And on and on and on again… ~Salkis Re
 

So Who Am I?

“Artist/ Life Coach”
~Salkis Re
Art by Salkis Re
Get My Artwork and Coaching Services here: www.iloveherart.com

Reasons and Justifications For Bullshit!

Abstract Art by Salkis Re
Artist/Life Coach
~Salkis Re

 

“Reasons”
Written by Salkis Re
 
Yeah we create them.
These elaborate excuses for why we can’t do this or that.
And these “thoughts” become “beliefs” as you because you start to design your entire life around them.
Sometimes, most times, you will say it’s because:
your mother was fucked up,
or you don’t have enough education,
or you’re not pretty enough,
or that you are set in your ways,
or you don’t have enough time,
or you need more training,
or you can’t find anyone to help you,
or you don’t have enough money.
 

But all those are is reasons, not truths.

Why?
Because you find money for the outfit, and you find the friends to wear it with, and the time to hang out with them,
and you research where to you go, and you place your time,
effort and money into what your perception says with will bring you immediate joy.
 

REASONS are elaborate thoughts based on fear and laziness,

Artist/Life Coach ~Salkis Re
and as you repeat them, you create the energy of justification behind them.
So here is the deal. I want you to see your reasons for NOT doing a thing as inverted ambition.
Yes. Inverted ambition.
Why?

Because you created these reasons to STOP yourself from trying or doing or being.

These are carefully crafted thoughts that you have DECIDED is your truth, and this took work to do too.
Now, what you want to do is the opposite of this in terms
of crafting reasons why you SHOULD do a thing that you have always wanted to do.
Why should you many 6 figures a year?
Why SHOULD you have an awesome relationship?
What are the reasons you can find to live the life of your dreams
“Artist/ Life Coach”
~Salkis Re
African American art
“Artist/Life Coach”
~Salkis Re

So Who Am I?

“Artist/ Life Coach”
~Salkis Re
Art by Salkis Re
Get My Artwork and Coaching Services here: www.iloveherart.com

“Fuel Your Pain to Fuel Your Change?”

Motivational Quotes
Artist/ Life Coach
                                                                                          ~Salkis Re

 

It takes you being smack down to within a inch of your life,

cause as long as you can justify what you do or what’s been done to you,

all you’re gonna do is sit right there and fucking stew in your shit and piss!

You will be preoccupied developing, editing and executing your hard luck story

🤔You are not gonna change until your whole nervous system rewired itself

and there’s nothing like tragedy/heartbreak to make

you say never a fucking again to being less than the best that you be!

The truth??

Is that we confirm up until it’s no longer beneficial to do so.

We don’t change, not unless there’s tremendous pain involved with remaining the same,

and even then, the default button is ever ready to be pressed again…
So do not stress over the emotions of other people.

It’s not your job to convince/control the feelings and emotions of other people.

 

It’s not your job to convince/control the feelings and emotions of other people.

The sun is on your back and you cannot carry anyone…

Move on..So feel your pain, feel every nuk and cranny of the pain so it can shake your world

and turn the shit upside down so you can extract the essential FIRE to transform and fly like the Phoenix rising from the ashes..

“Artist/Life Coach”
~Salkis Re
Website: www.iloveherart.com

So who am I?

An Artist.

A Life Coach

A Friend.

A Mother.

A Black Woman who has sojourned her entire to find peace,

self love, and the expression of a purposeful life.

I have taken on the task of HEALER using my creative/art skill and communicative means.

I hope you share this message with all you know.

Go to my art store and pick up something sweet for your heart

Pretty Dark Skin Women

Your Vagina is Tired!

 

Pretty Dark Skin Women
Self Esteem Coach
-Salkis Re

 

Your Vagina is Tired
Have you ever stopped to ask yourself how many men you’ve slept with that you wish you’d never had sex with? How many of them hold regrets for you and the wish to turn back “Father Time” for a clean slate again.

How many?

One?

Two?

ALL of them maybe?

The vagina is used to make friends,

make money,

make love,

native american art
“Eyota and Her Thunderbird”:Art by Salkis Re

and life decisions, all while being pounded and tossed about like she is separate from the rest of your body.

You act like your vagina doesn’t feel your regrets, like it doesn’t feel your shame or desire to be washed clean from your disregard of her. I think Queen Afua coined it :”The Angry Vagina”. Your vagina has been through alot.

***Your indifference and how you’ve isolated her from your heart and mind have taken a toll on you.

It’s time to stop chasing love and pleasure from those who wanted to heartlessly use your vagina like it wasn’t attached to a living breathing soul being.
It’s time to heal through right action..

Start your initiation; Click Here:
http://tinyurl.com/yaaak7j3

“Black Hat Wisdom”
“Liberator of the Breath of Re ”
She Who Opens the Throat to Breathe ”
“Self Esteem Coach ”
“Queen Bee”
“Artist ”
~Salkis Re
Website: www.iloveherart.com

how to attract men

What If Your Man Finds You Unattractive?

In response to a you tube video I did yesterday discussing what to do if you are an unattractive girl as far as dating etc. A brother asked if it is wrong for him to pursue a woman he is not physically attracted too. He said that the woman has other qualities that he is interested in but the looks just don’t do it for him.

There is nothing wrong in dating someone you do not find attractive. Sometimes other traits do hold so much value that you can’t pass it up. The problem is when the other person has to develop a relationship with someone who is turned off by them physically.

If you are on the receiving end of that kind of union and you are NOT strong minded and strong willed, you WILL be treated like a charity case. The emotional high that is usually there with physical attraction, will not be there with you. Practicality rules, the bottom line will be in front every decision instead of pleasing you. You must develop mental strength here because lipstick won’t do much to create the illusion of attractiveness.

Neediness, even in attractive women, eventually becomes a repellant for her as well. You must develop independent thought. That is the only way to control a relationship were the other person thinks you are ugly. We can try to create the illusion of attractiveness by the right clothes and make up lessons, talking softly or learning poll dancing and other “body conscious” things that take your money before you have a chance to perfect them. But in the back of your mind(where the truth is) you know that no matter what you do, it’s not going to be enough if you are doing them to please another person.

You are in a charitable head space, a servant and master paradigm were you have decided to agree with the rank and file you have been placed in by the person that you are trying to please. Center yourself, Learn to please yourself and do things that build on the strengths that you already have. This is what will give you confidence, not worrying and pressing yourself to do and learn things that are only motivated by your need to distract from how  you look.

You could be a master of your life if you know how to fill your own cup. Being unemotional makes you attractive!!

When you don’t “need” on an emotional level, you simply cannot be manipulated no matter how plain you look. And this alone can make you a magnet for men. Focus on health and personal accomplishments to avoid the depression that comes from pleasing people that find you undesirable to begin with..

(I know you men read my stuff so this goes for you too: your welcome 😉

“Your Life Coach ” ~ Salkis Re

Need some one on one coaching? If you like my transmissions then you are a perfect fit for a one on one session with me Click here to learn more

African American Art

Baking Cakes So He Can Break Bread!

Those women that tell you that you can do without, are themselves doing WITH and laugh as that ransack your house while they steal the spoils of war. This aggression makes us diseased, angry for no reason, it bloats our binge-eating bellies and hurries us to our graves.

We must let go.

We must let go of what we think is power and ignite what is actually power. Men take orders, they don’t give them. They need a purpose and a reason to strive or they’ll fall back in their beer stained easy chairs sweating out piss from their foreheads while they wonder all the “what if’s” of life. His purpose should be to please you and keep you safe. This is what he’s designed to do. If you play your part, your role will not wear him out, it will strengthen him and make him sharper still. Be a woman through and true woman.


I’m talking about being in expectation, NOT neediness

I’m designed to receive and when i’m not receiving, i’m not thriving. Getting your own is good but it doesn’t satisfy like being given does. There are parts of me that are off limits to everyone, those parts require my energy alone, and we all should have an off limit side to keep the mind mentally balanced. Being needy is an example of an unbalanced woman. I’m talking about being in expectation, NOT neediness; there is a difference in results and a difference in respect for each of those. Become a woman who expects the best from your man. You can make do if you’re by yourself. Wink!

Like this post, then hit  subscribe with your email address at the top right of this page. Then head on over to my online store and get any flavor of sugary goodness you want so that you and your wall can smile and apply what you learn here! 🙂

CLICK HERE: http://www.iloveherart.com

african american art

I Can Love You Better!

Making things better in a relationship.. Hmm I don’t think a turn around in a down hill spiral takes a tremendous amount of time. If you are with someone who treats you unkind, its not because they are sitting there waiting on the ‘right time” to treat you right. They treat you dastardly because they want to, because they have no inspiration or incentive to treat you any other way. But one hand cannot clap my lovelies: it’s a master and slave relationship. He can’t rule without subjects that have agreed to his appointed sovereignty.

The instinct to hold you dear is a gumbo mix of give and take IT away. Its an atmosphere of anxiety and incomplete comfort that causes one to strive to make pleasing you their number one purpose. Equality doesn’t feed passion. Truthfulness doesn’t make one treat you fair.. But of course you know this as you have had much lonely nights to asses and account for all your uprightness and your willingness to show, (even at the risk of  chasing reciprocity), how much you genuinely care.

You have given him no room to earn you! You are impatient and needy, yet so motivated to learn the lesson for the 100th time that beggars can’t be choosers. What is the secret I must share? You do not give to get, you BE to get. This is what Queens do!

We all appreciate and cherish what we have earned. We shine them up like trophies on  beautiful display cases, but with things given without merit, we put them in the back of our closet, or box them in the attic to collect dust until we fine someone who can find more use for them than we can fairly give.

Please visit my online art store www.iloveherart.com and don’t forget to subscribe to my blog. Go on hit it now, and get some tea and come back and read a little more 🙂

~Salkis Re

 

 

african art by Salkis Re

Your Only As Sick As Your Secrets

 

I love my paid hoes and poor sluts…

I have a few unmentionables. Things that have caused me shame in my life. Things that a few people know and maybe more than I think know because you just never know if your secrets are held sacred after you utter them. I wish I could go back in time, I wish it so badly. But I can’t. The ‘damage’ is done and I have to live on. But this thing called shame is paralyzing. Its like you walk one egg shells hoping you won’t be found out, like living while looking over your shoulder everyday. I can’t do that anymore. I won’t. There is no power in pretense. There is no glory in being discreet if your deeds haunt you, if you can’t forgive yourself. I’m for women. ALL of us. I love my prayer warriors and my jump off’s, and my paid hoes and poor sluts. I have been them all, unwillingly perhaps, led by fear most probably, trying to survive mostly. 20150402_071924

The fat gene won a few times but…

I know what its like to feel the thrust of man’s third leg inside me that didn’t care about me. I know what its like to “pretend” not to care while I let him do it too! I know what its like to latch on to someone because I thought this was the last train for me, that this was the best I’d ever get. I know what its like to pretend not to want anything so I’d be free feeling what I thought was inevitable disappointment. I know what its like to have a baby to keep the peace and get rid of one to keep “my peace”. I have been homeless. I have slept in my car. I know what a grocery store run feels like when you only have 5 dollars in your pocket for peanut butter and bread, but I also know what its like to give my savings away to my man’s next big business venture only to have nothing but a garage full of  novelty trash that wouldn’t sell. I fought the fat gene, won a few times, lost a few and Im winning right now and have a deeper understanding to stay here too.

Dear God, it’s me Salkis!

I spent a lot of time trying figure out what I wanted to do, what I wanted to be good at.. But that voice in my head was always nagging at me, telling me this ain’t gonna work or that ain’t gonna work. I even thought that being dark skin was a curse. I think I was 11 or 12 years old when I’d have frequent ‘talks’ with God about my complexion and I’d make deals with him I’d pass all my math tests and stop stealing the Fig Newtons out the cookie jar if he just would make me lighter skinned. Every morning, I ran to the mirror believing something changed, but there I was, just the same as the night before.

African American Artist
Daddy, Mommy and Me

I’d say: “You don’t love me God, if you did, you’d answer my prayers….”

Sex and donuts…

This is why I speak of self esteem and self awareness so much. I can see in the eyes of many women, the anguish, the confusion, the fear and dissatisfaction within their existence. I know it well. Even the psychics and the oracles can’t hide that look from me.  I know what they are feeling too. Bravado means nothing. The “I can do what I want to do” doesn’t mean a hill of beans. Its like one rice grain to a hungry belly. Only the strong will survive? No. Not true. Only the people who make the right decisions at the right time survive, only those who exercise purposeful discipline will survive. Much of our bumps in the road is do to lack of discipline, laziness, gluttony, focus. These things make one sick, broke, unhealthy etc.. Good sex is pleasurable, and I don’t know about you but glazed donut makes me hum my favorite tune. But are they good for us just because they bring us pleasure? That is what we have to reason out with the decisions we make.

So I decided that my goal, what I wanted to center myself around was love, self love in particular, but all aspects of it because it shapes and influences every part of our lives. I want love to be simple. I want the me that I was before I thought I needing fixing, the me that I was before the need to repair.. Before I was 11 years old I suppose….

If you’re like me, then you’d appreciate the Art walk back in time. Introspection is healing Click Here

African Artist

The First Time I Had Sex

Gosh… I remember it like yesterday. I was 18, naive, low self esteem and scared to death. There was a lot of grunting and pushing and quite a bit of pain. I remember laying there not understanding why I wasn’t feeling good. I kept hoping that it would start feeling like ecstasy I heard so much about. Blood on the bed confirmed my status as my man got up and looked at the bed and me and said “Oh! Your were a virgin for real?”

I was devastated, ashamed, and confused. What do I do now?, I thought. It seems like forever just to finish zipping up my paints. My shame quickly turned to anger though. Not only did he think I was lying about being a virgin, he was insensitive to boot. “Did you cum?, he asked anxiously. Like I knew what the fuck that was. I lied. “Yeah I came twice!”, I said.He smiled and gave me cab money to go home.

I thought about it the whole ride home. I gave up my jewels for this shit!! All my friends got at least 4 years of fucking under their belt and I waited for this? I should have fucked Buster when I had the chance. I used to cut school and go to his apartment in the projects. He would dry hump me for hours cause I refused to take off my pants, He would even cum too,lol That was crazy how I could make him cum fully dressed.. Sigh…
I’d give anything to have my first time back again..I think I deserve a do-over…

I’ve been chasing that do-over ever since…

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