How to Handle Manipulators

So I was thinking about Passive Aggressive men this morning and what I wanted to
say about them since some of you have emailed me with your concerns about how to avoid or manage passive aggressive men.
I want to you to understand how I think of  these labels like
Narcissist,
Manipulators,
Passive Aggressive,
Pathological Liars
These are all fancy fartsy terms for people who are dedicated to getting you to do what they want you to do regardless if its hurtful or dangerous or selfish on their part.
The passive aggressive person will throw insults in the form of a question,
they will state opinions wrapped around the pretense of ignorance.
They will not come out and say what they feel because way back when they were young,
their opinions were shot down, so they’ve learned to spare themselves the pain of
rejection for the things they want by never being clear about what they feel or what they want..
The Pathological liar is usually egoistic and have low levels of self-pride.
One of their traits are that of story changing.
They usually cannot remember the previous lie, so they make up a completely new lie to keep the illusion going.
Pathological liars
The Manipulator is one who exploits other people specifically for their own gain.
They are experts at fishing out a persons weaknesses
Here are 4 common traits of a Manipulator:
  1. They know how to detect your weaknesses.
  2.  They use your weaknesses against you.
  3. Through their shrewd effort, they convince you to give up something of yourself in order to serve their self-centered interests.
  4. Once a manipulator succeeds in taking advantage of you, he or she will likely repeat the violation until you put a stop to the exploitation.
The Narcissist spends time demeaning outer people. It’s important for that person to make everyone around them feel small and insignificant.
A Narc needs constant approval and praise to feel self worth and has an abnormal feeling of gracious importance..
They exploit people without guilt or shame….
abstract potrait painting
“I Understand” Original Art by Salkis RE
All these types of people TAKE without giving.
They demand from you what they do not feel the need to give in return.
They are all users, some aggressively, some not.
But they will all make you feel uncomfortable with who you are.
They will all make what you are asking for seem pointless and have a total disregard for your feelings whether by outright insults or sarcasm…
You “Handle” people like this by having your own agenda.
And your simple vow is to put yourself first at all times because someone who truly cares about you; they will not want to take anything from you that you don’t want to give, They will respect your boundaries and your feelings..
You handle them ALL by never doing anything you don’t feel comfortable with doing. You destroy their power by becoming a FELINE!! 

Why Calling Yourself UGLY IS IMPORTANT!

 

Inner Shame and Guilt That You Are Trying to Cover Up!

Listen, I know it’s “shameful” to call yourself UGLY..
I get it, truly..
It feels icky and degrading and self deprecating and whatever other

fancy word you’ve found in your thesaurus to use..

But guess what?
It’s everything that you ALREADY feel about yourself too!

So what are we doing here?

We are EXPOSING OURSELVES so that we can disarm the inner critic.

This is the only way to get to the root of our emotions so that we can fishing out the inner sabotage that happens on a daily basis.

Everything you feel that hold any negative connotation is tied into the way you look. VANITY is a woman’s curse.

 

It keeps us under control, it makes us obedient servants to those whom we feel can provide us an identity…

 

We look to others for this validation all day, every day.

 

And if other women seem to have more beauty than we do, we cease trying to better ourselves as we slump into the normality of GIVING UP.

Vanity is a CURSE. It destroys your ability to discern, to think clearly, to judge others justly and skews the perception of our TRUE worth…

 

You gotta embrace it..

The word Ugly is the key that unlocks the door to your mind in order to unleash your power!

 

  • Be sure to grab your copy of Ooh Let Me Write That Down. It is over 200 pages of life wisdom quotes. One of the most profound, life changing books you will ever read. Learn how men really see you. How to navigate through manipulation so that you can stop be a victim or a door mat!

Why You Need to Be Different!

It Must be emotionally exhausting carrying around feelings of self doubt of your low self worth every day of your life right?

You wake up unexcited, barely looking at yourself in the mirror and if you do, you grimmace with dissapointment at your reflection!
Day in, day out, the same secret sentiments of self loathe and dissatisfaction infect your mind…

If you keep waking up like this, where do you think you are headed?

You want some relief…

I know…
Cause I was exhausted feeling fu8ked up about myself too.
I felt jacked up because I believed the corrupted side of my imagination!

I talked myself into believing that I was stupid, unworthy of success and love,

and in my mind, everyone around me presumed they same things that I assumed about myself..

Abstract portait painting
“Skylar” art by Salkis Re

So I decide one day to acknowledge that I had FEAR.
FEAR of rejection.
FEAR of failure.
FEAR of being alone.
And every decision I made or avoided, was because I used my (corrupted) imagination to convince me that my failure was almost a guarantee.

SO I suppressed my desires.

I spent a lot of years being quiet and careful not to say too much because (as a ‘stupid’ woman) I thought I’d probably say the wrong thing.

I spent a lot of years being quiet and careful not to say too

much because (as a ‘stupid’ woman) I thought I’d probably say the wrong thing.
I had decided back then, to be “compliant” and “submissive” to avoid pain and rejection…

And guess what happened?
Pain and rejection came ANYWAY!!
PAIN AND NO RESULTS is all this way of thinking got me.

Is this how you live right now?
Is this your Every Day Life?.
Are you Scared to start?
Scared to even want what you want?

Black and White Portrait Painting
“This Is The Way” Art by Salkis RE

Even at the expense of your own safety and emotional stability.
BUT you still get no results!
So what does change require?
*It requires you to FAIL.
**It needs for to prepared to TAKE RISKS.
It requires that you GO FOR BROKE while obtaining guidance, while developing your skill for measurable SELF improvement !

SELF LOVE is the foundation that success is created on!
And you need to LEARN HOW to love yourself.
I’m the only black woman who can truly help change your lowly

thinking and your proclivities towards self defeatism .

AND:
You won’t have to be 20 years younger to do it!
An hourglass shape is not need to do it!
It’s not in creating stipulations that you don’t have to

inspiration, the discipline or the biology to meet!
You are going to focus ONLY on what you CAN DO!!
This is how you will get what you want of life!.
Lets Get It!

 

Beautiful Black Women in relationships

If you enjoy these emails packed with nuggets of wisdom, please do share them.

Leave a comment to let me know how you feel about what I’ve said..

Need My Help?

Send me an email to info@salkisre.com

Ready to take a chance and get some wisdom to turn your life around now?

Click Here

And before you go, grab your Free E-book“12 Steps to Become Irresistibly Magnetic”

How To Love You!

darkskin women

Self Love is a Relationship With Your Body

Sitting at my desk with my yoga gear on, all prepped for my

home yin yoga session and I’m thinking about why I am doing this.

I workout, eat right and stay of  trouble because that is the way I express love for myself.

I have come to realise that there is no separation in anything we feel, experience or suffer from..

What you put in your mouth will affect your bank account as well as your liver!

What you say out your mouth will make you feel guilty or make others feel threatened.

What you do today will affect the results you experience a year from now, even 10 year from now.

Nothing you do is a stand alone event.

You are constantly creating “Webs”, as you weave one consequence

or result into another with every decision you make.

This is the key to understanding why our lives are as they are.

Start with your body.

African American Art
“Do I Have Too?” Original Art by Salkis Re

Master your relationship with your body.

Listen to it’s arguments against some of your food choices.

Stretch your muscles when you are feeling like you are constricted.

Communicate with your physical heart, your liver, your kidneys.

Thank your cells for defending you against what should be in your body.

Think of nurturing in all that you do.


Why Should You Heed My Advice?

Because I’m CRAZY, a nonconformist,

AND an introvert who had to bind her insecurities

and throw that bitch in the closet so

I could pound the pavement and be found by good women like you!

“Your Self Esteem Coach”
~Salkis Re

Need My Help? Send me an email to info@salkisre.com

Ready to take a chance and get some

badass wisdom to turn your life around now? Click Here

Why Women Stay With Bad Men!

Someone “made” you feel ugly?
Some “made” you feel insecure?
Someone “made” your worthless?
All he did was express how he felt about you..
He gave you his perspective and packaged it with a sales pitch.

He habitually stated that pitch until your resistance withered away.

Why didn’t you defend yourself?
Why didn’t YOU walk away?
You Want the TRUTH?

Because he never told you a “lie”!!
He told you everything you ALREADY believed about yourself!
And though his words hurt to hear, it made you feel comfortable and

even “Closer” to him because you shared the same feelings about yourself…

FACTS!

Don’t blame him for holding up the mirror.
The question to ask is:
How do you feel about you?
If you Answer that honestly, your healing can begin…

So what do we want to do here exactly.

What you want to do is start clearing up misconceptions and opinions and “Truths”

that do not support the narrative you WANT to believe in!

I have said it before, and I will say it yet again.

Everything you think that you are is “Make Believe”,

it starts off as a feeling,

then from that feeling inspires an action

then from the action, you create a habit.

Then before long,

you’ve done or thought  whatever it is for so long that it moves as a truth in your life,

dictating and altering your perception of your reality..

We want to rewire our brains.

This is how you heal from ANYTHING. I don’t care what it is.

The depression, the disease, the lack ALL stem from your beliefs.

And your beliefs are NOTHING BUT DECISIONS MADE OVER AND OVER AGAIN..

You can start to change by become “AWARE” of everything you feel.

“Becoming aware means that you start catching yourself in the mist of doing something habitual. 


That negative self talk, or going for that piece of cake you don’t need,

you see what you are doing and from there you will want to start to questioning your behavior.

Why am I saying this about myself?

Why am I grabbing the chocolate cake when I know it makes me feel unstable?

What is it that I am looking to feel?

Am I trying to relieve my anxiety?

Am I trying to distract myself from pain?

What you want to start doing in begin to FEEL everything so

that you have to opportunity to question everything that you feel.


To pose a question breaks the script!

It breaks your confidence in your “Truth”.

It requires you to THINK!

THINKING is what will strengthen you!

Why?

Because thinking requires that you find TRUE answers…

THINKING brings the gift of resolution.

THINKING means that you get to change the narrative

when you figured out that what you believe is bull s%Jt!

Why Should You Heed My Advice?

Because I’m CRAZY, a nonconformist,

AND an introvert who had to bind her insecurities

and throw that bitch in the closet so

I could pound the pavement and be found by good women like you!

“Your Self Esteem Coach”
~Salkis Re

Need My Help? Send me an email to info@salkisre.com

Ready to take a chance and get some

badass wisdom to turn your life around now? Click Here

3 Ways That Your Emotional Dysfunction Took Form!!

3 Ways That Your Emotional Dysfunction Took Form!!
 

1#In The Womb

 Your emotions are formed in the womb.
Even before you are born, your seat feeling sadness,
excitement and fear.
Not only do you inherit your mother’s eye color and your father’s height,
you inherit their emotional imbalances too.
Abstract portrait painting
“More Love” , Art by Salkis Re
 
 

2# Then Your Family Condemns You

 When you are born, then what you call your ‘family”

starts working on your self esteem, destroying your confidence,
shaming your tastes in food or clothing,
telling you that you look funny or flat out unattractive.
 
 

3# Then Your Lover Finished Breaking What’s Left of Your Self Esteem

 
 And then whatever is left of you is destroyed
by a romantic relationship
that ends in you feeling a broken heart,
unworthy of love and the cap stone on the
confirmation of all you’ve experienced
from the previous two on this list.
 
Reclamation of your mind, body and soul is about reject EVERYTHING you know to be true.
You must be reborn mentally in order to heal..
 
 

 

Why should you listen to me?

 

Because I’m CRAZY, a nonconfirmist, AND an introvert who had to bind her insecurities and throw that bitch in the closet so I could pound the pavement and be found by good women like you!

“Your Self Esteem Coach”
~Salkis Re

Need My Help? Send me an email to info@salkisre.com

Ready to take a chance and get some badass wisdom to turn your life around now? Click Here

 
 
 
beautiful black women with locs building up the self esteem of dark skin women all across the Smreica

Dark Skin Women Get No Love From Dark Skin Men???

One of my viewers made a comment on my “Are Dark Skin Men The Enemy”
I did that video because Sooooooo many dark skin women have sentiments of
struggle and trauma around getting a dark skin man
want her or keeping the relationship positive and respectful.

She Stated:
“I was told by a Light Skin woman that her mother
told her to get the dark skin
man you could find and he would work like a “slave”
and cater to you, then you won’t have to work.
She married the dark skin man but she’s “in love”
with a light skin man who treats her like shyte!!”
End Quote
🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸
life coach for black women

YOU ARE SLAVES to THEM!!


I told you men previously that a whole LOT of you are work mules and called
a stupid MONKEYS when these women huddle in secret sister circles to
swap tactics and brag about what you do for them.
Spiritual Life Coach for Black Women
Your Self Esteem Coach: Salkis Re


I am Not Blaming Light Skin Women


The problem is not in your choice to love NOR is it with Light Skin women,
it’s the extra verbal condemning of women who more times than not actually
HAVE or COULD HAVE “genuine” feelings of endearment and concern for you.
You’ll call dark women names (and clown us WITH your light SKIN girlfriend)
because you are of the impression that you are MONKEY STATUS EXEMPT
because you can throw her a few yards and have a nice ride???
How Sway??

You will Choose A Woman Who Does Not Want You Again!!


You think that because you can make her moan
that you are disqualified from the classification you put dark women in??

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸
Lol This “enthusiastic” dating style has got y’all running after women who

are fucking other men behind your back, taking
YOUR money to help the man -she actually IS in love with- pay a few bills and so on..

Don’t I always say: “We are always looking for someone
BETTER than ourselves” And that this is exactly why we get out hearts broken!!!
Carry On

beautiful black women
Who Am I?

“Your Self Esteem Coach”
“Spiritual Advisor”
“Artist”
“Writer”
“Poet”
Need an emergency coaching session?
Have a question? goto- salkis@iloveherart.com

5 Emotional Issues that Happen When Fall in Love

Self esteem coach Salkis Re

I’m sitting here at my desk trying to arrange

my thoughts into something you

can take and apply to your life today.

Of course its about love.

It’s always going to be about love.

Why?
Because this thing called “falling in love”

does something adverse to our minds.

Pathologies are created because of this “feeling”,

and if you take inventory of your emotional state

when you are “in love” you will see that you mistake

“fear and anxiety” for LOVE.

 

 

Those “butterflies” in your stomach,

Those “butterflies” in your stomach, your restlessness

and inability to focus on anything else but him and his dik.
This is emotional instability forming,

but these women out here won’t tell you that.

You become emotionally unstable and exhibit signs of addiction,

insanity and codependency when you fall in love.

 

1-makes you neurotic,

2-suspicious,

3-anxious,

4-needy

5-and possessive

The “I can’t live without him” makes you neurotic,

suspicious, anxious, needy,

as you throw healthy boundaries and your

standards out the window.
I read most of your posts quietly.

I watch how you take trips you cannot afford to

“escape” yourselves or “find” happiness.

I watch some of you brag about how gangsta

you are and you don’t take no shit of men,

but every two seconds strike a pose in tight

clothes to get the attention

and validation of these same men you claim

to have sexual control over.

👉We are scammers.. Yeah… We are..
I include myself and can admit mistakes too,

after all, a healer usually has something

to heal before stepping out to heal others.

Painful truths here,

Painful truths here, some of you will say that, but I prefer to call this a sound bite or an excerpt from the “GODDESS compendium”, a manual for emotional control.
Have a look at your free spirited girlfriend and really observe their temperament.

Is she ever relaxed?

Does she talk fast?

Does she need to be chewing something in her mouth constantly.

Does she ever express satisfaction in anything or anyone?
The answer: NO!

She’s constantly spinning.

Looking for the next hit, the next drink,

the next dik to make her feel less invisible…

And so you have it, your “food” for the day.

This not something I wanted to say,

it is something I HAD to say, for I am on assignment.

My goal isn’t to make you feel good,

there’s enough distractions out here to serve that purpose.

My goal is to shake the shit out of you,

to help you wake up from your coma

so that you are never a doormat for any man ever again...
Carry On…

Black Women with Thick Locs

“Medicine Woman”

“Artist”

“Writer”

“Poet”

~Salkis Re

If you need private mentoring

or have a question please contact me at: info@salkisre.com

 

Dating Outside Your Race Black Women?

I could join you picket line…but I won’t because part of the blame, well most of it was my doing,
for I chose to give men who I knew were not interest in me a chance.
I knew that the guys I LIKED didn’t really like me,
but I hadn’t any concrete “evidence” to substantiate my suspicions, yet and still, the situations
that by the grace of God revealed the truth, I dismissed the truth anyway.
I didn’t want to admit the truth because that would mean that in my mind,
I was acknowledging that I wasn’t good enough.
 
Watercolor Portrait Painting
“I’m a Girl!” Original Art by Salkis Re
And what’s the best way to relieve the mind of anxiety and depression: distraction!
Men pretended with me and I pretended right along with them, hoping that “proving value” by “selling myself” to an
*unmotivated buyer to begin with would somehow turn things around for me…
This what you do too.
You pretend.
You pretend you don’t see what you see.
You even pretend to be confused, but you know.
You ALWAYS know, the problem is that you do not trust in what you know because you
cannot differentiate your true self from the pretense you’ve created to get along with others.
 
Most of the time it was just a “feeling” though. In the mist of a conversation,
his mind does not seem fully engaged, and if a woman walked by that he liked,
he took the liberty to take a long and quite substantial look,
not feeling instinctively compelled to respectfully conceal his arousal from you.
 
There were other times when dates would be cancelled at the last minute
but then he’d show up at midnight to my door claiming to “miss me”,
I knew that he lied but I let him in because I wanted to feel wanted: truth be damned!
Then there were those times when holidays came around and gifts didn’t come neither the presence of his body,
probably because he was too busy stocking stuffing at “homes” of women who’s company he valued more.
And it was no buggy in my mind because
I bought my daughter all the gifts on her list which allowed me to a distraction from my feelings of inadequacy from being unwanted…
abstract portrait painting
“Powder” Original Abstract Portrait by Salkis RE
So now here you are, running from your acute ability to make poor decisions
by seeking refuge in the arms of men who do not share your genetic makeup.
You are fascinated with the “novelty” of it all. You get to even be “blacker” with him than you are
with your own brothers as you show and tell stories about what means to be a black woman in America.
And all well until you notice that he likes you a bit too much,
almost like you are trinket or an object of a fetish he has for black fresh.
And here you were thinking he is crazy about you…
Yeah he is krazy* about you…
You dismiss it though, still on somewhat of a high that a
man from another race considers you as beautiful.
 
But the truth is that you are that same woman who made agreements with men whom,
you knew were not to be trusted, not to be fucced, not to be husband or a father to your children.
Moving to another race doesn’t remove how your process and filter out your world and more importantly what you think of yourself.
You cannot run from you.
The respect and love that you desire comes when you become intimate with YOU.
It will come from black men when you have a love for your wellbeing that cannot be bought or bargained with.
Carry On…
Black Women with Thick Locs
“Spiritual Advisor”
“Artist”
“Author”
“Poet”
~Salkis Re
If you need my book good click HERE
If you Want me to mentor you, click HERE

Butt Ugly Beauties

Awwww. Listen Linda, Listen!!

I know what it feels like, what it be like to dance with self doubt.

Everywhere you turn, there is another thing you NEED because

somebody is saying that you have look better than what you are in order to compete with…

well don’t even damn know!!

SO we buy the next gadget, the next cream, the next corset,

and the next promise that we will magically look good even for a man to fall on a sword for us…

Beautiful Black Women

I know gorgeous women… I mean women who’s stock remains high whether or not they have clothes on.

THEY ARE DROP DEAD GORGEOUS 

And guess what they also are?

They are doubtful of their value, challenged by their perception of their own self worth.

Questioning themselves like a broken record as they wonder if they are truly deserving of the THINGS THEY GET!!!

Can you imagine having that forking problem???

You get what you want with ease, but a whisper in your head keeps

saying it’s an accident or a fluke that you receive what you receive…

You are so beautiful that men that you like a pet, they are so insecure around you that they

think you are incapable of telling the truth or being faithful to them…

Imagine that….

Stacked Those Chips On Your Shoulder

 

 

Black artLow Self esteem escape ver few people who are actually adults..

By the time you can go to the corner store by yourself or take your road test for your drivers license,

you’ve stacked up enough insecurities to create a stairway to heaven…

Fixed and confident in all the degradation you’ve accumulated over the years.

You don’t want to think of yourself  jacked up, but that is what you are thanks to society.

 

Its Time to Die

Time to put to bed those thoughts. Time to die and be reborn again… It takes a little death you know.

A death to transform into what you want to become,

a death to assert what you want to feel like you deserve.

This goes for love OR ANYTHING you want in life too.

 

You Are Programmed!

You are programmed to wait for a “qualifier” to feel like you can claim the good life.

You need the degree to feel smart.

You need the crowd to feel important.

You need a man’s love to feel esteem.

You need your parents to be proud of you to feel like a winner.

And on and on and on……….

 

Three things you need to know and adopt in your life transformation..

No ones Opinion of you is LAW or the ABSOLUTE TRUTH

You Will Always Have a Choice to Accept or Regret What People Think of You.

Most People You know is battling their own self esteem issues, so they CANNOT help you.

 

 

 

 

 

Some immediate suggestions:

Turn off the T.V..

Unplug from social media.

Find a hobby

Find a way to help other people…

Come out of your own head and let your ego starve a little bit…

We often feel miserable because we are self centered and need constant

reassurance when the attention we want to receive is not matched to what we actually get..

You Are enough!!

If you are healthy, you are blessed.

IF you have sight, you are blessed.

If you can read, you are blessed.

If you can call you mother today, you are blessed…

Carry On….

To reach me for private questions or products and services find me HERE

My email your questions and concerns to: Salkis@iloveherart.com