How to Handle Manipulators

So I was thinking about Passive Aggressive men this morning and what I wanted to
say about them since some of you have emailed me with your concerns about how to avoid or manage passive aggressive men.
I want to you to understand how I think of  these labels like
Narcissist,
Manipulators,
Passive Aggressive,
Pathological Liars
These are all fancy fartsy terms for people who are dedicated to getting you to do what they want you to do regardless if its hurtful or dangerous or selfish on their part.
The passive aggressive person will throw insults in the form of a question,
they will state opinions wrapped around the pretense of ignorance.
They will not come out and say what they feel because way back when they were young,
their opinions were shot down, so they’ve learned to spare themselves the pain of
rejection for the things they want by never being clear about what they feel or what they want..
The Pathological liar is usually egoistic and have low levels of self-pride.
One of their traits are that of story changing.
They usually cannot remember the previous lie, so they make up a completely new lie to keep the illusion going.
Pathological liars
The Manipulator is one who exploits other people specifically for their own gain.
They are experts at fishing out a persons weaknesses
Here are 4 common traits of a Manipulator:
  1. They know how to detect your weaknesses.
  2.  They use your weaknesses against you.
  3. Through their shrewd effort, they convince you to give up something of yourself in order to serve their self-centered interests.
  4. Once a manipulator succeeds in taking advantage of you, he or she will likely repeat the violation until you put a stop to the exploitation.
The Narcissist spends time demeaning outer people. It’s important for that person to make everyone around them feel small and insignificant.
A Narc needs constant approval and praise to feel self worth and has an abnormal feeling of gracious importance..
They exploit people without guilt or shame….
abstract potrait painting
“I Understand” Original Art by Salkis RE
All these types of people TAKE without giving.
They demand from you what they do not feel the need to give in return.
They are all users, some aggressively, some not.
But they will all make you feel uncomfortable with who you are.
They will all make what you are asking for seem pointless and have a total disregard for your feelings whether by outright insults or sarcasm…
You “Handle” people like this by having your own agenda.
And your simple vow is to put yourself first at all times because someone who truly cares about you; they will not want to take anything from you that you don’t want to give, They will respect your boundaries and your feelings..
You handle them ALL by never doing anything you don’t feel comfortable with doing. You destroy their power by becoming a FELINE!! 

Dark Skin Girls As Video Vixens???

Tory Lanez
Rapper- Tory Lanez

 

Someone asked me to state my opinion about dark skin girls being represented in rap music because of some artist named Tory Lanez checking a video director for replacing a dark skin model with a light skin model for a video shoot.

My thoughts on being represented in rap videos is that it’s nothing to fight for or fight over.. We are ALREADY seen as sex objects to the world as black women.

From my vantage point, we are classified in two catergories. There’s the “Mamie” that nobody wants to fucc and the “Whore” that everybody wants to fucc.

 

We might get sprinkles of intellectual simulacrums here and there, but measured against the history of media and what’s put out for us to consume even to this day, they’re not even enough for an honorable mention…

I’m exhausted with topic, and the fact that women steadily want to rope into protests around colorism gets on my fuccing nerves actually..
Why?

Because even within the argument of segregation based on skin tone, dark skin women with small noses and small lips and small waistlines are the “Show Ponies” for the argument that we are just as attractive as any other woman, we just so happen to be dark skin..

 

beautiful black women

Do you see ISSA GAME?
Hierarchy will ALWAYS exist, even amongst the oppressed…

Y’all want another panel discussion to justify your depression, your laziness, your misfortune?

Nobody owes you SELF ESTEEM!!

You are not going to get that by watching women who look you shake their ass on screen!

 

beautiful black women

Media IS SOCERY. Media is MAGIC.

Makes you feel hopeful or helpless depending on the agenda..

So we must admit that we are like children.

We are affected emotionally by what we see even though we know it’s not real.

Cut off their supply of your energy.

Stop letting society VAMP on your emotions.
Be SELF aware!

 

 

 

Beautiful Black Women in relationships

Who AM I?

I am an Ugly Girl who paints beautiful girls while helping women feel better about themselves

Need My Help? Send me an email to info@salkisre.com

info@theuglygirlsclub.com

Ready to take a chance and get some badass wisdom to turn your life around now? Click Here

Get your free e-book here

Why Calling Yourself UGLY IS IMPORTANT!

 

Inner Shame and Guilt That You Are Trying to Cover Up!

Listen, I know it’s “shameful” to call yourself UGLY..
I get it, truly..
It feels icky and degrading and self deprecating and whatever other

fancy word you’ve found in your thesaurus to use..

But guess what?
It’s everything that you ALREADY feel about yourself too!

So what are we doing here?

We are EXPOSING OURSELVES so that we can disarm the inner critic.

This is the only way to get to the root of our emotions so that we can fishing out the inner sabotage that happens on a daily basis.

Everything you feel that hold any negative connotation is tied into the way you look. VANITY is a woman’s curse.

 

It keeps us under control, it makes us obedient servants to those whom we feel can provide us an identity…

 

We look to others for this validation all day, every day.

 

And if other women seem to have more beauty than we do, we cease trying to better ourselves as we slump into the normality of GIVING UP.

Vanity is a CURSE. It destroys your ability to discern, to think clearly, to judge others justly and skews the perception of our TRUE worth…

 

You gotta embrace it..

The word Ugly is the key that unlocks the door to your mind in order to unleash your power!

 

  • Be sure to grab your copy of Ooh Let Me Write That Down. It is over 200 pages of life wisdom quotes. One of the most profound, life changing books you will ever read. Learn how men really see you. How to navigate through manipulation so that you can stop be a victim or a door mat!

Why Is It So Easy to Con Women?

Criticism leads to a need for one to defend her position.

Whether it’s right or wrong is not as important as feeling demeaned by another person.

This is why it’s so effective to just tell you what you want to hear.
Make it sounds supportive, beef it up with praise and your “Wulls” come tumbling down.

Your wallet open, and you become an emotional pawn for every charismatic charlatan out here.

Abstract Art by Salkis Re
Original Art by Salkis RE Click Here

I think we are smarter than we REALIZE though.
I just think we use our intellect when it’s too late for it to make a difference.

It’s always when the damage is already done that we ADMIT that we always “knew” that this or that was a misrepresentation or an outright lie.

It’s our fear of the REALITY of rejection that keeps you hopeful for hopeless things..

You will defend what will ultimately destroys you.
You defend what doesn’t reciprocate love.
Willing footstools you be, a purveyor and propagator of IMAGINATION not reality..

Don’t be a “Dumb” woman.

There are enough women out here who are only fit for the slaughter house,

but HER level of comprehension doesn’t have to be YOURS.
If your instincts are telling you that something isn’t right,

resist the fear of ostracism, and stand on your principals.
Don’t go for the herd mentality to feel “safe”.

Because the this: Your friends and family are the ones who seek to, and often times, are VERY successful in making you feel diminished and unworthy under the guise of “care” and “concern”.

So my dear.. Don’t worry about the Devil, for the Devil TELLS you what he wants; it’s the SAINT PRETENDS not to want anything from you so it can take EVERYTHING from you.

You need me to coach you?
Need a breakthrough?
Tired of feeling like you are beneath other women?

Black women with dreds

Contact ME!
“Medicine Woman”
“Life Coach”
“Artist”
“Author”
~Salkis Re

Need My Help? Send me an email to info@salkisre.com

Ready to take a chance and get some badass wisdom to turn your life around now? Click Here

Get your free e-book here

How Not to Influence People

How NOT To Influence People

You Cannot Influence ANYONE

if you do it from a position powerlessness.

This is why I do not engage in conversations about

why black men don’t like dark skin girls or whether “Light Skin Privilege

( fair skin women enjoy real relationships and happy lives)

is an actual thing for us to worry about, or even why

black men are going to white women or traveling

outside the U.S. to find exotic women to marry…

black and white painting

What other woman experience is NOT a measure of what you can’t get or what you will experience yourself!

The only way you could have similar resultsis if you mirror how that other woman thinks, And I’m not interested (nor should you be) in believing that YOU cannot have what YOU DESERVE TO HAVE!

Why are you parroting off talking points from anyone who tells you that you don’t have a chance in hell to get what you want?

Do You value freedom?

Don’t you want to feel free??

Well what is freedom?

FREEDOM Doing what you want

when you want

with who you want!

African American Art
Artist/Life Coach
~Salkis RE

Freedom To Me Means HAVING A CHOICE!

And your first step to being able to choose what you want, is to OWN WHAT YOU WANT!

Meaning, don’t ever again feel ashamed for wanting something

whether that be a millionaire husband, having a lots of your own money,

having a child, being attractive, or living your life purpose!

African American Art
Art by Salkis Re Click the Image

You Can’t Get to Freedom by thinking that Life is Journey***

Only poor, undisciplined, insecure people talk that nonsense about a journey!

You have to live on purpose just like you did when you went to

school everyday to get your degree, or go to the gym workout..

You do things to get a forking RESULT, not for a journey!!

black artists

Why Should You Heed My Advice?

If you enjoy these emails packed with nuggets of wisdom, please do share them, and leave a comment to let me know how you feel about what I’ve said..

“Life Coach”

“Artist”

“Author”

“Poet”
~Salkis Re

Need My Help? Send me an email to info@salkisre.com

Ready to take a chance and get some badass wisdom to turn your life around now? Click Here

Get your free e-book here

Why You Need to Be Different!

It Must be emotionally exhausting carrying around feelings of self doubt of your low self worth every day of your life right?

You wake up unexcited, barely looking at yourself in the mirror and if you do, you grimmace with dissapointment at your reflection!
Day in, day out, the same secret sentiments of self loathe and dissatisfaction infect your mind…

If you keep waking up like this, where do you think you are headed?

You want some relief…

I know…
Cause I was exhausted feeling fu8ked up about myself too.
I felt jacked up because I believed the corrupted side of my imagination!

I talked myself into believing that I was stupid, unworthy of success and love,

and in my mind, everyone around me presumed they same things that I assumed about myself..

Abstract portait painting
“Skylar” art by Salkis Re

So I decide one day to acknowledge that I had FEAR.
FEAR of rejection.
FEAR of failure.
FEAR of being alone.
And every decision I made or avoided, was because I used my (corrupted) imagination to convince me that my failure was almost a guarantee.

SO I suppressed my desires.

I spent a lot of years being quiet and careful not to say too much because (as a ‘stupid’ woman) I thought I’d probably say the wrong thing.

I spent a lot of years being quiet and careful not to say too

much because (as a ‘stupid’ woman) I thought I’d probably say the wrong thing.
I had decided back then, to be “compliant” and “submissive” to avoid pain and rejection…

And guess what happened?
Pain and rejection came ANYWAY!!
PAIN AND NO RESULTS is all this way of thinking got me.

Is this how you live right now?
Is this your Every Day Life?.
Are you Scared to start?
Scared to even want what you want?

Black and White Portrait Painting
“This Is The Way” Art by Salkis RE

Even at the expense of your own safety and emotional stability.
BUT you still get no results!
So what does change require?
*It requires you to FAIL.
**It needs for to prepared to TAKE RISKS.
It requires that you GO FOR BROKE while obtaining guidance, while developing your skill for measurable SELF improvement !

SELF LOVE is the foundation that success is created on!
And you need to LEARN HOW to love yourself.
I’m the only black woman who can truly help change your lowly

thinking and your proclivities towards self defeatism .

AND:
You won’t have to be 20 years younger to do it!
An hourglass shape is not need to do it!
It’s not in creating stipulations that you don’t have to

inspiration, the discipline or the biology to meet!
You are going to focus ONLY on what you CAN DO!!
This is how you will get what you want of life!.
Lets Get It!

 

Beautiful Black Women in relationships

If you enjoy these emails packed with nuggets of wisdom, please do share them.

Leave a comment to let me know how you feel about what I’ve said..

Need My Help?

Send me an email to info@salkisre.com

Ready to take a chance and get some wisdom to turn your life around now?

Click Here

And before you go, grab your Free E-book“12 Steps to Become Irresistibly Magnetic”

DO You Feel Threatened?

 

 

 

black and white African Art
“Room For Two” Original Art by Salkis

 

 

Every choice has a bit of risk.

Every choice as an element of suffering involved in it..

But there is a difference between THREAT and a CHALLENGE.

 

 Having challenges is a nutritional requirement to be challenged in life.

I tell all my clients/collectors that  having challenges is a nutritional requirement to be challenged in life.

You have toface your problemshead on or you

leave them to grow roots and stipend its own blood supply.

Once you get clear on what is a threat and what is a challenge,

you will start to venture out and take more risks.

 

 

You’ll create the potential to receive.

You’ll create the potential to receive.

This thing called YOUR LIFE is a numbers game.

The more you do a thing, the better you get at it.

The more you practice, the more you give is the more

you will master and the more you’ll receive…

 

                                                               Why Should You Heed My Advice?

 

If you enjoy these emails packed with nuggets of wisdom,

please do share them, and leave a comment to let me know

how you feel about what I’ve said..

“Life Coach”

“Artist”

“Author”

“Poet”
~Salkis Re

Need My Help? Send me an email to info@salkisre.com

Ready to take a chance and get some badass wisdom to turn your life around now? Click Here

 

Go to The Gym!

Self care supports your desires.

Self care makes you feel good about who you are.

Self care is a soup of oily habits that can also seal your fate!

But I am not talking about soaking in a bubble

bath or eating some calorically dense powdered donut.

Abstract art
‘Skylar” Original Art by Salkis Re Click Here to buy

I am talking doing what I’m about to do which is head to the gym at 8 o’clock at night

to get my workout out in when I’d rather being under the covers scratching my are!

I am talking about eating the piece of fruit and some water before bed instead of greasy fries.

I’m talking about the extra hours of study or staying up late to finish a project that with get you big money.

I am talking about talking your vitamins and cutting down on your salt intake (which is soooo hard for me).

Self care is about doing what you don’t want to do in order to get the results you Do want to get.

Are you about THAT life?

GOOD.

Now Let’s Go to the gym! Wink!

“Ugly Girl Ambassador”
Founder of “The Ugly Girl’s Club”
~Salkis Re

Why Should You Heed My Advice?

Because I’m CRAZY, a nonconformist, AND an introvert who had to bind her insecurities and throw that bitch in the closet so I could pound the pavement and be found by good women like you!

you!

“Your Self Esteem Coach”
~Salkis Re

Need My Help? Send me an email to info@salkisre.com

Ready to take a chance and get some badass wisdom to turn your life around now? Click Here

You Are Ugly SO There is No Hope For You????

She states: Men love fantasy and illusion.

Look at your sports, strippers, video games.

They fantasy bombshell type women If a man can’t get past how you look,

you’re going to have the least.

Men are visual and that will not change any time soon.

 

 

My Response:

Fantasy is make believe.

So is seduction.

So natural attractiveness is really only held by the fortunate few,

for most women need the crutch of cosmetics and reinforced underwear create visual appeal.

If a woman is dispossessed of natural beauty by God’s design,

her survival and ability present value will have come from seduction

tactics that go beyond the beauty that she does not have.

African Art
“Never Again Original Art available at www.iloveherart.com

Men may be visual creatures, but that doesn’t mean they cannot be exploited,

sifted through for hidden weaknesses, vices,

and shameful perversions that they hide underneath their bravado.

Any woman can “wear the robe”,

she just has to get over HER guilt and shame and anxiety so

she can release society’s indoctrination made to pigeon hold her into emotional slavery.
Women fear men.

And as long as you fear them, you will be played

with and discarded no matter what you look like…

You want to know the real?

No woman who has to wear makeup, a girdle, a bra, a weave, hair dye, hair relaxers or high heels has the right to tell ANY other woman that she is hopeless and should settle for less.

You are building yourself up. Creating the illusion that you are better than what you naturally are, and you spend your time telling other women that they can’t have what you have? Girl Bye!

This is why The Ugly Girls Club is necessary now more than ever. We have to free ourselves from the perception that inclusion or acceptance from anybody holds value. BECAUSE IT DOES NOT!

Women enjoy rating, classing and casting other women BECAUSE OF FEAR!

They fear that another woman will take what they are fighting for.

NOBODY CAN TAKE WHAT IS FOR YOU!

Carry On

 

“Ugly Girl Ambassador”
Founder of “The Ugly Girl’s Club”
~Salkis Re

Why Should You Heed My Advice?

Because I’m CRAZY, a nonconformist, AND an introvert who had to bind her insecurities and throw that bitch in the closet so I could pound the pavement and be found by good women like you!

“Your Self Esteem Coach”
~Salkis Re

Need My Help? Send me an email to info@salkisre.com

Ready to take a chance and get some badass wisdom to turn your life around now? Click Here

How To Love You!

darkskin women

Self Love is a Relationship With Your Body

Sitting at my desk with my yoga gear on, all prepped for my

home yin yoga session and I’m thinking about why I am doing this.

I workout, eat right and stay of  trouble because that is the way I express love for myself.

I have come to realise that there is no separation in anything we feel, experience or suffer from..

What you put in your mouth will affect your bank account as well as your liver!

What you say out your mouth will make you feel guilty or make others feel threatened.

What you do today will affect the results you experience a year from now, even 10 year from now.

Nothing you do is a stand alone event.

You are constantly creating “Webs”, as you weave one consequence

or result into another with every decision you make.

This is the key to understanding why our lives are as they are.

Start with your body.

African American Art
“Do I Have Too?” Original Art by Salkis Re

Master your relationship with your body.

Listen to it’s arguments against some of your food choices.

Stretch your muscles when you are feeling like you are constricted.

Communicate with your physical heart, your liver, your kidneys.

Thank your cells for defending you against what should be in your body.

Think of nurturing in all that you do.


Why Should You Heed My Advice?

Because I’m CRAZY, a nonconformist,

AND an introvert who had to bind her insecurities

and throw that bitch in the closet so

I could pound the pavement and be found by good women like you!

“Your Self Esteem Coach”
~Salkis Re

Need My Help? Send me an email to info@salkisre.com

Ready to take a chance and get some

badass wisdom to turn your life around now? Click Here