We always hear it. Control your emotions, or showing one’s (especially women) emotions is a sign of weakness.
A sign of weakness is in being undisciplined..
Showing your emotions to a degree that is appropriate to the situation is a sign of intelligence, not weakness.
Road rage makes no sense, that’s emotional.
Throwing away your food cause it got cold, that’s emotional.
Wanting to kill someone because they don’t want you anymore, that’s EMOTIONAL!!
A disciplined mind will reheat the food if its cold, listen to an audio book while in traffic,
or help pack the bags of a lover who earnestly expresses to leave.
Anguish, the kind that takes lives or destroys property is hardly ever the appropriate display of emotions.
The Hermetic Maxim states
The Hermetic Maxim states that to truly rise upon any state of emotion, you should practice standing in the middle, meaning remaining neutral.
What does remaining neutral mean?
It’s sort of a gentler way of not giving fuck!
It is you remaining grounded through a storm, a sun shower, or sunshine.
You simply apply a “that’s ok” to things that go extremely well or extremely bad.
Harder to do of course, but this is the A-B-C’s and 1-2-3’s of EMOTIONAL CONTROL.
Now, how does this translate into a woman’s life?
How do we ( as we are known to be the more emotional of the sexes) learn to adopt emotional control when we are designed to express it?
Appropriation . …..
Allocating our emotions to match the level of a given situation.
This Happened Last Week
I was at a department store shopping for a New Year’s Eve dress and couldn’t help but hear a woman gossiping on the phone about someone she knew.
From what I could make out from mumbles mixed with shouts,
she was upset about a friend making a decision to f&*k a man she warned her friend not too.
Her cussing showed a heightened level of concern/ beratement towards her “friend”.
She called her an F’ing Fool,
and Stupid Ass for not heeding her advice.
I saw spit bubbles building inside the corners of her mouth, and the dialogue was clearly dehydrating her.
And that conversation went back and forth for so long that my 11 year old started looking at her like she was crazy!!
I watched her hands flailing in the air as her eyes got wider to emphasize her point.
Could her heart rate be elevated at this point as well?
More than likely…
All worked up for what? Gossip?
All worked up for what? Gossip?
Because she’s such a good friend?
Or was she revelling in her friends pain while under the guise of concern?
The point is that there was no point in getting herself upset over it. Her upsetness turned into a gossip fest and platform to trash her “friend”.
So the question YOU SHOULD ALWAYS ASK IS : What’s the Point?
Why get worked up over anything you have no control over or cannot change.
Our problem is that we spend too much time worrying over NOTHING.
We ACT concerned and blow things out of proportion as a diversion from our own troubles.
And quite frankly, I know and admittedly have experienced false satisfaction displaying emotional authority by ,ironically, defaming and alienating people you claim to love.
This was something I had to work on myself because I made a habit out finding the flaws in people and exploiting them..
So to conclude this post, I invite you to practice quietly posing the “What’s the Point” question in front of what you are about to say or do,
and if you can’t find a
legitimate reason to engage,
get worked up,
then simply let it go
because the appropriate emotion for it, obviously, is to have none for it…
So who am I?
A Life Coach
A Black Woman who has sojourned her entire to find peace,
self love, and the expression of a purposeful life.
I have taken on the task of HEALER using my creative/art skill and communicative means.
I hope you share this message with all you know.
- The painting featured in this post can be found here: my other website www.iloveherart.com