Black Men Hitting The Wall Too!

Listen, men will attempt to indoctrinate you with long ass soliloquies about the diminishment of your self worth because of age. They make it seem as if their erections don’t become temperamental when they hit their 30’s and 40’s..

They tell tall tales of their virility and feed the social constructs of dignified aging while assisting in destroying women’s confidence to have access to her body for little or equivalent gifts offered..

This is what id like to share with you ladies about the proverbial “Wall” that men gleefully watch us hit.. Because they BUILT the WALL!

Watch This

Stop Being A Fuk Buddy and Get Married!

Every two years or so, you are some new guy’s girlfriend.

Doesn’t that worry you? Doesn’t the thought of being some dude’s boy toy make you emotionally uneasy?

I mean granted, you’re having fun going out to eat, bar hopping maybe, decent frequency of sexual activity, but in the back of your mind, you know this has got to end cause theres no real commitment there.

The old folks call it “Playing House”, and that’s exactly what it is: A Game. You are in an imaginary existence with a man who hasn’t decided to truly commit ALL THE WAY.

But you are sacrificing time, your vagina and more than likely your money to buy the ILLUSION of a relationship he’s giving you.

Cam Newton and his Now EX GIRLFRIEND of 6 years..

Men will suck you dry: literally!

And they gave an uncanny ability to waste your time while maintaining imagery of forward movement. But you are boxed in as a girlfriend, unable to have an absolute say about your future and direction you would like to take the relationship.

Why?

Because you are there for a good time. You are there to warm his bed or distract him from the work self improvement IF your remain JUST his girlfriend.

I Know That Marriage Isn’t The Goal for every Woman BUT>>>>>

Now, I not a total prude here. I get that marriage isn’t every woman’s goal, but the women who say this are usually those who’s phone still rings for offers of sex or situationships or Zaddy trips etc… Yet and still, when they no longer have to put that iphone on silent cause the calls start to slow down or come to a screeching halt, THEN the thought of finding that ONE life partner starts to make practical sense.

GUYS DO HIT THE WALL TOO!

You don’t want to end up like a lot of these “Hit The Wall”-“After The FactHoes out here who can’t do nothin but peddle Level Up courses that don’t even work for them!

Give these “boyfriends” expiration dates to make a decision on pulling the trigger or not because being some dude’s girlfriend for 3-5-8 years with no end game insight, will cost YOU what he can’t pay you for: which is TIME!!

Beautiful Black Women in relationships

Salkis Re is an artist, writer and Self Esteem Coach for black women. You can find her unique art pieces here And visit her YOU TUBE channel for tips on surviving in a world that has very little love for black women.

Dark Skin Women Are Not Feminine?

Y’all, im so over this bias it’s not even funny. But it has to be addressed because its a living, breathing folklore of sorts and its picked up some heavy steam in the past few years.

I have always has an over sensitivity to the awareness of being perceive as masculine BECAUSE of my skin tone.

“Colored Girl” Original Art by Salkis Re

At one time, I decided that I would practice talking softer and vowed to find a superior hair gel that would lay down my edges for 8 hours straight; in doing so, I thought I could achieve the pinnacle of femininity [straight hair, with a soft spoken tone as a bonus].

I abandoned the voice lessons and got fed up of the self inflicted anxiety induced by my edges curdling back like clockwork every two hour.

I didn’t feel good about me.

And I because I was more stressed than confident while doing the hair strengthening, the skin lightening, the dressing different and the talking different, I finally mustered up the courage to say “Fuk It!”

Why?

Because I was imitating and mimicking what I was not biologically designed to be. And that put me in the category of a BEGGAR!

“Skylar” Original Art by Salkis Re

I don’t believe that the darkskin woman’s problem is that she isn’t feminine, I believe that her problem is her inability to respect who and what she is..

And I know you’ve got reasons and justifications for playing the game, like you need straight hair for your corporate job or you need to look this way because thats what brother’s are attracted too, but you will never be able to out-white a white woman, EVER!

“Colored Girl”#5 Original Art by Salkis Re

We’ve got our on lane yuh know, an entire arena where we are the status quo, yet it is on the bottom..

But in my opinion, that’s not a bad thing. Any position you play within the social pecking order has rules, our problem as darkskin women is that it’s so obvious that we are trying to play in an arena we don’t belong in so that we can be accepted by other people that we actually PURCHASE our degradation with cash!

To emulate other women is to claim self neglect and a lack of self honoring. And it doesn’t falking matter “Why” you are doing it. We get no respect because we have none for ourselves.

1970’s Beauty

And what’s even more asinine is that think we can shame people into including us; I waiting on the other side of the fence for y’all to finally figured out that the shaming-shyte doesn’t for fat women and it ain’t gonna work fir DARKSKIN women either!

Salkis Re is a Self Esteem Coach, Artist, Author, Poet who uses her creative gifts to help repair the emotional wounds of black women. You can find her work at: www.iloveherart.com And her coaching on You Tube

Watch This!

What Ugly Women Need to Be!

When you were 16, you always had a guy sniffing around you.

There was a secret crush here, a nerd who gave you his allowance money there, the annoying boy who teased you constantly cause he liked you but didnt know how to say it!

“Blacky” Original Art by Salkis Re

There was this nerdy guy who was in love with me and I didn’t understand why.
He was part of the band club at school and he’d write songs for me and offered to walk me home from school.

As unpopular, unattractive, struggle hair buns my no frills having ass was, there was a guy willing to accept it and care for me regardless of my “un-refinement”.

Fast forward to today, and you are under the indoctrinate of talk like this and dress like that and don’t say this and don’t do that, act like this snd not like that, and its harder than ever for you to be “attractive” to the opposite sex.

Why Salkis?
Because your too invested in doing so.
Your too obsessed with what men think and feel. And you’ve allowed all the let-downs from the lack of attention to show on your face.

You don’t take care of yourself BECAUSE you dont see a point in doing so BECAUSE you don’t get the attention of men.

And that part has to change. You become infectious when truly like yourself, when you dont take yourself of anybody else so seriously. When you aren’t ashamed of who and what you are.

Self Esteem Coach,  Salkis Re

Unattractive women have to embody a “letting go” mentality. Stress isn’t your friend, but PASSION will make you MAGICAL…

What you HAVE to do is find that sweet spot between “Giving no fuks and Caring About Others”.

Ugly Girl.. Be childlike again. Fuk refinement and all the pretense and emotional trappings that only serve to reduce you into a masterbation tool.
BE the ESCAPE for people who desperately want to let their guard down.

Beautiful black women
Self Esteem Coach, Salkis Re

NEVER CONFORM.
Why?
Because you don’t fit in to begin with!🤸🏿‍♀️

“The Ugly Girl’s Ambassador”
~Salkis Re
Art by Salkis Re

Being a Hoe Is Better

You “love” or accept love based on how you perceive your own worth. Deciding NOT to identify with a culture or a race or dating outside your race is a irreality because when you look at your reflection, you are reminded of WHO YOU ARE.

Abandoning identity is something EASY to propagated to low value people or poor people to mitigate the internal struggle and shame about who they are.

A black man can date white women and still claim identity

A black man can date whomever he wants and still position himself as a voice for “his” people. He can rally people around eloquent speeches of racial injustice while enjoying a white wife and biracial offspring and his “brothers” will overlook it and won’t bat an eye.

He isn’t seen as trauma based dating like the black woman. But he also isn’t compelled to “act” different in any way because his choice to love is simply a “choice” independent of how he feels about himself.

👉🏿Yeah Right.

But how and why we choose mates isn’t seperate from our culture, our fears, our self image and trauma. You choose partners by the sum total of your experiences, good, bad, easy, tough etc..

We are sold on the virtue of emotional dependency

Women are always sold on the virtue of displaying a “personality” instead of who they are because our value is not in how secure we are,
it’s in how emotionally dependent (feminine) we can pretend to be while simultaneously pulling off an image of value/beauty ..

But The Mother represents customs and culture and morality of society. How and who you choose to reproduce with is a bank deposit into the quality of future generations. You pass that on to her children, and if the FEmale/M-Other abandons her scientific role as decision maker for who gets to pass on their genetics, the quality of offspring will diminish within our society as a WHOLE!

Women get caught up in the salesmanship of men

Women get caught up in the salesmanship of men because we need men to see us and DESIRE us in order to EXPERIENCE value and an identity.
This is why a woman can/does feel worthless when rejected by MEN.

But there was a time when this was NOT so, when vanity did not make YOU an emotional prisoner, when you were not underneath MEN.
And this isn’t a feminist “I hate men ” rant!

This is a Ringing of THE ALARM!!

  1. It’s the need to be desired that lands us in bed with men who do not care.
  2. It’s the need to be seen as valued that lands us in these labor and delivery rooms by ourselves.
  3. It’s the need to be identified through the eyes of men that has us casting our pearls to swine.

We have a responsibility that’s bigger than burden of being beautiful for men!

We have a responsibility that’s bigger than burden of being beautiful for men! And when you release yourself from FEARING men, from seeking their lust, you will begin to bloom as you will finally utilize the sun and rain that M-other Nature AS ALWAYS provided you!

GET UP!
“The Ugly Girl’s Ambassador”
~Salkis Re

Why Black Men and Women Don’t Love Each Other AnyMore..

How is he able to actualize his full potential in a world where his right to freedom and the pursuit of happiness cannot be realized outside of a womans crotch?Justified, yes! Justifiable, no!

What Self Esteem NEVER IS!!

“What They See is NOT What You Are!”
Transmitted on January 23, 2019 7:43 a.m.

Self esteem has NOTHING to do with how you look!

You planned your look in the bathroom,
You rehearsed in your head people’s reactions and responses to how you look .


You’ve spent money to create an image in hopes that you can effectively make people think a certain way about you.

Your presentation is about MARKETING NOT SELF ESTEEM.

Look around you.


I know you know plenty of women who look attractive AND YET they have low self esteem.

You scratch your head and remain confused and maybe even resentful that a woman with all that beauty still find a herself inadequate or depressed.

You’d kill for her body, her pretty teeth and long natural hair..

Because you just can’t understand why she feels that way while looking so freaking gorgeous.
Lies…

Self image is the holy grail of all self help programs catering to Black women.

Change your hair and you’ll raise your self esteem.

Lose weight and you’ll increase your self esteem.

👉Date more men at the same time and you’ll feel less desperate so you can increase your self esteem.(Yes.. Who you date is about self image too)

Self image is NOT SELF Love!!!

Self image is an idea you create in your head, then you project outwardly for others to see so that they think a certain way about you…

👉👉👉Self image is all about who you want people to think you are, NOT what you think about about yourself!!


Your self esteem resides in the TOTAL acceptance what you NOT in how people see you…


“Your Self Esteem Coach”
~Salkis Re

Need help? Drop me a line at salkis@iloveherart.com

Self Esteem Coach, Artist, Author, Poet: Salkis Re