Are You A CHEAP Date?

 

 

Beautiful Black Women
Artist/Life Coach/Medicine Woman”~Salkis Re

 

I had a session with a client yesterday and she was explaining
to me how the conversation went on her pseudo date for the evening.

She told me that it basically tuned into a **therapy session**
for him to complain about all the money he was expected to spend in **his previous relationship**
and how he felt it was unfair that he was required to
give her so much of his money among other things…

Uh……

SO let me tell all of you ladies something that I did want to accept for a long time.
**YOUR APPEARANCE MATTERS!!**

 

Why do I say this?

Because she saw him for a “quick” informal date,

she wore a new pair of jeans(but they were jeans) and a cute casual looking blouse= **Minimal Effort**

 

Now she assured me that she looked very **VERY cute.**
But the message she sent to him was that of *convenience and *less requirements because she

was ok with riding around with him in his car with no plan and no money spent for her time.

And to top it off, he is all of 60 years old man with 4 baby mama’s

to divvy out child support too.
A 60 year old man has to pay to TALK far yes pay for an actual date.

Sound sluttish?
==========

**Get over it!**
Why?
Because HE assumed from the gate that this sister
WASN’T WORTH doing as much for like the previous woman was,
cause what? HE SAID HE GAVE THE OTHER WOMAN THE MONEY SHE ASKED FOR…..
SO his complaints are really a mute point AFTER the fact…

African Art
“Never Again” Art by Salkis Re

Do not ever take that take as some sort of compliment to your **”good girl”** archetype.
Being GOOD serves a purpose, and if that purpose isn’t being met,
then you should walk alone with the virtue you are so proud of.

Bottom line is that he didn’t think my client was on
the level of the previous woman he was complaining about.

You think if he thought she was ‘high maintenance’
AND deserved to be take care of, that he’d suffer her
through the entire date complaining about how much
money he didn’t want to spend on a mother woman????

NOOOOOOOOOOO!

Men know who they will low ball from the gate.

And they will spend on what they think is worth the effort and the price.

You being a Good Woman, a woman of fairness and honesty is beneficial only if the man has no alter agenda, and what man doesn’t???

A relationship with you becomes something of quality based on how YOU respond to offers and insinuations and sexual advances etc..

You make it ‘something more” than a one night bang” by not banging?

His morals are based on what you require.. PERIOD!!

Do not compromise on your requirements at all! You won’t get a no crown for suffering or not getting your basic needs met!!

 

If you need my help, find me here

“Black Men DO Not Want Black Women???”

Written by Salkis Re
 
Begging of any kind immediately puts you in a subordinate position.
Stop harassing these black women that you “think” do not what to date you.black love
It doesn’t make a difference and NEWS FLASH,
you can’t SHAME men not changing their minds about where they want to insert their penises.
It is a totally waste of energy, and it send a message that you are insecure about your own self worth.
There is a power in SILENCE that is unequivocal to any vocalized aggression against black men who date outside their race.
 
And until YOU stop with your own hypocrisy, the double standards of who gets a pass when you YOURSELF are praying for an opportunity to have a mixed baby or a
Light skin child, when you stop supporting those swirling channels that get MILLIONS of views AND SUBSCRIBERS,
you stop beauty practices that reflected an alignment with what you CANNOT BE BIOLOGICALLY,
then and only then can we effectively take a position of “Injustice” with the vehicle of self honor and self respect and truth behind in.
 
You try to denigrate what you secretly have affection for.
You say you HATE when you really admire and privately wish
the cards of life would have dealt a different hand to you.
I have participated in the hypocrisy for many, MANY years.
I had a chip on my shoulder for light skin women for any woman
who appeared to be mixed race or who claimed blackness while enjoying ambiguity.
I went through a stage in high school were I relaxed my edges EVERY WEEEK!!.
Yeah, as soon as then naps started forming, I take a little tooth brush and zap that shit away.
I wanted no part of my blackness, and I hated other women because they didn’t have to go through what I went through.
Not being shut after sexually is a crushing blow to a girls self esteem here in America.
Because here in American, beauty is regarded as VIRTUE, as TRUTH, As GOODNESS.
abstract art
But beauty that comes from the validation of men always leads to self esteem issues.
It always leads to disease and mental instability.
Why?
Because his “love” for you is based on what he sees and this means that
you experience differences in your relationship when your looks start to change.
Beauty as a vehicle for companionship is a necessity, but approaching beauty as a “tool” rather than the sum total of your
self worth is a more balanced way to be because then you can manage
“change” and you will do things to maintain your beauty that are more productive
and nourishing to your body instead of destructive and corrosive to your physical form…
The bottom line is this: When you BEG, you get their PITY, Nothing more.
“Black Love” starts with you!
 
“Medicine Woman”
~Salkis Re
Art by Salkis RE

Are You A PlaceHolder???

“Place Holders”
Written by Salkis Re
 
You think you fucked the shit outta him, yet he left you.
You think you are a dime piece, yet he left you.
You think you are the most intelligent woman he’s ever been with, yet he left you.
You think you are smarter than him, yet he left you.
You have a big ass, yet he left you.
You neck and chinned his dick till your throat was sore and snot ran out yuh nose, yet he left you.
You think you have manners and self respect, yet he left you.
You have a good paying job, yet he left.
You have a degree, yet he left you.
You didn’t have sex with him for 90 days, yet he still left
He never talked about sex, then you fucked him, and he still left you.
You have a tight pussy, yet he left you.
You look better than all his other girlfriends, yet he left you.
and on and on and on…
Lightskin black women
 
ALL of you’s on this list were/are PLACEHOLDERS.
A placeholder is a woman good enough for “now” or even a few years,
some of you are even married placeholders believe it or not!
And the gag is that all of the you’s on this list knew something wasn’t right.
You felt that something was wrong, you knew it!
 
You can regulate your pussy all day long, and it doesn’t cause you are not the “one” to begin with..
You claim you have preference, but men know you are liberal with your convictions, he’s banking on it.
 
You know what gets every woman caught into the net of PLACEHOLDER???
 

****FLATTERY******

 
Appealing to your vanity.
That knocks you off your throne EVERY FUCKING TIME!
What did I tell you before?
Without vanity, and appealing to your need to be validated through it, men have NO POWER OVER YOU..
He bends time, and dodges a lot of incidentals through flattering you.
He makes you feel like you are actually in a commitment,
that he actually has genuine feelings for you all through administering FLATTERY!
Lord help us if you feel he is handsome or better than you because of money or status our whatever,
then you’ll start making concessions in your boundaries in order to impress him!
abstract portrait painting
Be immoveable.
Be unshakable.
Be unimpressible.
Be unbothered.
Be self contained.
And just observe him like he is observing you.
DO not assume that anything being said, any show of affection, gifts or money is some actually show of true feelings.
Take your time.
DO not give u your vagina.
BE fabulous, cordial, and unapologetic about your personal magic…
Be different.
Be unafraid to show flaws.
Honor the value you have for yourself at all time,
and do not negotiate your morals..
Now go back and RECLAIM YOUR THRONE!!back queens
IF you need to talk to be privately, find me HERE
 
 

No Reason to Love a Woman Like You!!

“Emotional Decisions”
 
Decisions made by the heart alone NEVER stick.
And this is why decisions made solely from an emotional place ALWAYS END.
Sometimes quickly… Most times quickly actually.
Him loving you doesn’t compel him to stay, does it?
You loving him doesn’t mean you don’t want to leave, does it?
 
So why do you stay? And why does he leave?
Because BOTH of you give it some thought.
You start weighing your options as you try to figure out a reason to NOT to carry out that conclusion your emotions offered you…
Kloe Kardashian and
 
Some people are not mentally stable enough to allow themselves time to think things through.
The ole saying “Let me sleep on it” is real and necessary to get your mind back into the rational space to give the final YES or NO.
 
Love is a scam in that way really.
You are loved today, and forgotten tomorrow based on “feelings”
I tell no lies here today.
You know its true because you have been with past lovers who you
swore you’d spend the rest of your life with that are barely even a fleeting thought now.
 
And so it is…
When you ask him “why” he loves you and he answers you with a “just because” RUN!!!
Run like a bat outa hell looking for fresh blood!
RUN like you’re in hell with gasoline draws on because you
know you are with someone who DOESN’T have a concrete reason to STAY with you.
Will and Jada Smith
 
Emotions make the decision and Logic KEEPS people together: NOT EMOTIONS...
You can decide to accept this or not, it’s certainly up to you as we all are resonating on different frequencies.
But if you’ve been “burned” by love, puzzled at how a person can love you and still hurt you,
perplexed that you’ve reached a space of loneliness when you thought you found your soul mate,
then this message is most definitely for you to eat and digest.
I know, I know, but Salkis there are happily married couples who have been together for blah blah blah amount of time,
so true love does exist, that’s what you are saying.
At least that’s what the seminars tell you, and they’d better tell you that cause you are paying good money for “HOPE”
I am not saying that love does not exist, Im saying that love is erratic, and inconsistent, therefore unreliable as a stand alone measure of the value of a relationship.
Have you ever stopped and asked yourself why you fell in love with him?
DL Hugley
What were your reasons for that emotion?
Was he cute in the face? Nice beard? Bow-legged?
Did he f*(k the shit out you till you came 4 times in a row?
What was it that conjured up the I can’t live without you feeling?
It was probably something that felt good of course.
Some action he performed that produced a feel good moment that became repetitious ,
and before you knew it, you couldn’t see life without HIM in it!
But aside from the rigors and the conflicts and the betrayal, relationships can sharpen you as a person.
They can teach you what you like or don’t like or didn’t know about yourself.
Lovers have an uncanny way of showing you who you really are by creating hardship and challenges for you to overcome.
And if you do manage to snag a person that can hang in there with all your baggage,
you too can assist him in becoming better person as well.
While unpleasant, STRUGGLE LOVE is an opportunity you invite into your lives to “expose” for The initial purpose of an escape,
but on the back end, a miraculous thing happens and you start to dance with The Real YOU.
Learn the lesson and endure or move on….
Take the “Black Pill”
“Medicine Woman”
~Salkis RE
 If you need to talk, find me HERE

STOP ACTING DESPERATE!!!

If you act desperate, you will be used and abused: plain and simple.
Why?
Because desperation denotes powerlessness, and perception that you don’t have another option.

I don’t give a shit if you are a live-in girlfriend or a long time wife,

you can and had better maintain emotional control over your environment by decimating urges to share your vulnerability.

Do not allow any man to propagate to you that he is your ONLY option; he’ll just use your cosign to justify abusing you.

If you maintain an ABUNDANCE mindset, his propaganda can/will be cut at his jugular vein.
Do not give concern, do not be an audience member for his “tear you down show”

Freeform locs
Artist/Life Coach ~Salkis Re

No ma’am!
Leave him to talk to HIMSELF about what he feels about YOU.
Your display of CONCERN is what gives his glibness meaning. And you get nothing but half-ass pity for showing your foibles too.

He acts a fool, you smirk, give a shrug, and walk away as if you are unconditionally unbothered!

To recap this transmission, I will say that the only reason you are being controlled

is because you allowed him to create *neediness and *insecurity within your mind.

How should you think?
You should think that he is in your life because you WANT/ED him there, not because you

NEED/ED him there. And you have to act like that even if you actually do need him.

NEVER acknowledge your weaknesses to him,

but always just be thankful and gracious for his *contributions and let that be that…

Remember that you are the gift. You are the prize. He should be the one fighting for your love, not the other way around!

Stop with the equality nonsense and understand your position as a woman is ALWAYS better than that of a man.

We are both cursed you know. Man being the beast of burden, cursed to work by the sweat of his brow, and we…

well are cursed by needing to submit to him…

There is no way around misfortune, unfairness, hardships,

but you make life harder for yourself when you spend it trying to be something that men do not respect, admire, or love…

 

YOU ARE A WOMAN!! That brings with it a treasure desperately imitated by so many pay bring money to mimic.

You walk around with your GOLD and your value is always present, always with and within you!

Don’t give that up to toil the earth like men. A man’s purpose is to protect you and provide for you;

there is no other need for him in your life besides that.

And when you narrow down the innuendo,

when you cut the ambiguity and misinterpretations that come with emotional feelings, that’s all you have left to surmise.

PROTECT AND PROVIDE!

*****If You need to Speak with me privately, I am HERE

“Sexual Abuse Happens to Every Woman”

All women I have had the pleasure of talking to,
coaching with, friendships and associates have a sexual abuse story from their past: ALL OF THEM!
It was an uncle here, a stepfather there, an older cousin here,
a brother there, a boyfriend over here, and a husband after that, and so on and so on…..

I remember when I was it the 4th grade, I got dragged behind a tree by this boy that I actually had a crush on.
I asked him what he was doing and he slammed me against the tree and started dry humping me.
My face was bruised cause he held my neck against the trunk of the tree so that I couldn’t move..

I started crying. Then he laughed, backed off, and ran away…
I stood there picking bits of tree trunk off my face, shaken, feeling ashamed and really confused like what the fuck just happened here!
But he laughing so I wasn’t sure if what he’d just done was even wrong.

No ‘I’m sorry’ was said, he just laughed when he saw my tears.
So I thought that maybe I was perceiving it wrong…

Isn’t that what we always do?
Second guess ourselves and our feelings because HE won’t own up to his actions…

No penetration physically happened, but a disruption of my self worth and confidence sure did!


Why?
Because I secretly LIKED that boy.
Which means I looked up to him.
And because I liked him and he didn’t like me:
it meant that HE was BETTER than me…..

This is the typical pattern that starts after you’ve been physically violated.
You don’t trust yourself anymore, you feel in your heart that the pain inflicted is somehow what you deserved..
And every relationship you seek, only aids in solidifying your false sense of low worth…

Wives aren’t exempt from this either, in fact, a lot of them are simply “under contract” to be abused because you have taken the “I’m powerless’ position..

So he gets to tell you he doesn’t like your body while he’s fucking you because he pays the mortgage. He gets to tell you that he thinks you are stupid while he rides your back to relieve his stress. He gets to blame you for his dik not being able to hold an erection, but as the “good wife” you swallow and wallow quietly in degradation because that ring says you have NO voice.

But you can repair your heart and mind..

Your heart can heal,
your emotions can stabilize when you finally come to realization of what men are,
what they can and CANNOT do for you, and the proper order of importance they fit in..

So The Maxims For Today Are:

Do NOT second guess YOURSELF anymore…
What you SEE IS what you GET…
There is NO BENEFIT IN A DOUBT,
So DON’T give the BENEFIT OF A DOUBT.
DISMISS ANY talk that calls to question your perception of reality…
And remember, you CANNOT have SELF CONFIDENCE when you Do Not trust YOUR feelings…

Aummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

African American Women in witch craft
Artist/Life Coach/Medicine Woman ~Salkis Re
The Black Hat Society”
“Life Coach”
“Artist”
“Medicine Woman”
~Salkis Re
Art by Salkis Re
If you are in need of private relationship consulting, emotional and spiritual wellness guidance, please contact me here

“Sex is a Return on His Investment, Not an Act of Good Faith!”

abstract portrait painting
Art by Salkis RE

“Sex is a Return on His Investment, Not an Act of Good Faith!”

Sex is NOT important. It should really be the last thing on your list of must-haves.
Why?
Because you can maintain your advantage and the upper hand.
What do you think he is chasing you for? Cause he likes to tell you his problems?

You think he is tracking you cause you’re an excellent cook?

Is that what keeps him thinking about you all day?
Its your snatch my dear.

That slime box shaped like a flower pedal between your legs.
That is what the game is about. So if you give it to him without a commitment, the GAME IS OVER.

Quite Frankly, the game is over the moment you give him sex no matter when you do it,

but if you give it to him AFTER he’s made an investment of time and ANNNNNNNNNDDDD MONEY,

it will be a challenge to just abandon the relationship.

The key word here is “LOSS”.

If he has already spent money on you, then he is INVESTED. He has paid into the relationship and wants to recoup a “return”.

Any women still requiring love to be at the top of her list for commitment is going to be a lonely fool…
“TAKE THE BLACK PILL”

“The Black Hat Society”
~Salkis Re

Beautiful Black Women
Artist/Life Coach/Medicine Woman”~Salkis Re

 

“Don’t Like Sex SOOO MUCH GIRL!!!”

 

If you want to get money or resources out of a man, then NEVER act like you like sex as much as he does. Its masculine, and to get taken care of, you must act feminine or a “damsel in distress”.

If you are showing lust and encouraging talks about how you can do Olympic feats of Water Park style SQUIRTING on your 300 thread count sheets, you are going to make him think that his “peens” can be EQUAL in exchange of value when you do have sex..

Is it?……….

NOT if you are trying to be cared for: HELL NAWL its NOT!

Hide your lust. Do not offer conversations about how skilled YOU are.

If you must go there, simply indulge in his need to express what he likes and take note,

giggle, blush, and keep it classy…

abstract portrait painting
iLoveHerArt.com

Why would you do this?

To establish that you are here to RECEiVE and his JOB as a man to to give IN EVERY WAY.

AND the sex he offers is NOT PAYMENT or COMPENSATION for the time your are spending with him..

That is the trap you pseudo feminists are getting yourself into.

The equality of the sexuality is NOT beneficial to women who want to portion themselves to be some man’s SUGAR BABY.

 

In order for a man to feel compelled to take care of you in any way,

he has to feel like you NEED him, he has to feel like he can solve your problems and rescue you.

And you cannot pull of the DAMSEL ideal by matching him it wit and sexual brawn.

Abstract Portrait Painting
Art by Salkis Re for SalkisRe.com

Think delicate.

Think soft.

Think charm.

Think beauty.

RUN from the modern notions of womanhood and all that WOMAN CAN DO WHAT MEN DO

IF the goal is to be a woman getting her bills paid by a ma who is madly in love with her.

It takes work. More work than I care to admit or WANT to do myself.

I fought the need to do all this nonsense for soooo many years and pissed away a large portion of my own sexual fertility shadow boxing with the notion that I too had to be vulnerable.

But I was thinking of it all wrong, it’s not about BEING vulnerable, its about ACTING vulnerable.

And these are two entirely different things.

sexy women

 

So my advice to you is not think of yourself as dumbing down your brilliance .

Think of all the feminine charm as a TOOL to sift your brilliance through,

because if your smarts doesn’t pad up your bottom line, then you are living “stupidly” anyway…

Fight this if you want too, and all you’ll have left is a mouth full of spermatozoa and an empty change purse..

What more help? Find my books and coaching services  here

“Black Hat Wisdom”
~Salkis

 

 

Closed Mouths DO Get Fed!!

 

“Closed Mouths DO Get Fed”
Written by Salkis Re

You should NEVER be totally open with your man. He is impersonating “friendship” with you, especially in the beginning. Leave the “real” details if your life for a “somewhere down the road” discussion or never at all.

We just chat-tup too much and women are under the impression that revealing your entire life is what brings closeness with your man.

He doesn’t care about all of that. He likes what get sees and he is doing what he does for access to your body: that’s it!

Abstract portrait painting

Commitment isn’t a factor until YOU start talking about it unless you are the woman if his dreams: and most of may START off that way, then after SEX the dream diminishes because when your clothes are off and your mouth is around his peenus, it REVEALS how much you are really worth.

So you’d better resolve any moral conflict you have with running game so that you are prepared for the latter half if your life.

Men serve a purpose, just like a job, and they should only be a factor if they can better your life. THAT’S IT!!

Don’t listen to him talk about character and that “good woman” reverb while “beeches” he claims he wants nothing to do with and give him a hard time are the ones making his “peenus” hard as a rock as soon as she starts ranting.

Relax. Let Go of Guilt.
And Get Man to serve you…
“Life Coach”
“Dark Goddess”
“Artist”
~Salkis Re

Beautiful African American Women
Life Coach, Salkis Re

“You’re not a HOE, but you are a WHORE”

Written by Salkis Re

What is a hoe? I’m sitting here at my computer desk this morning thinking of something inspiring to write and that question just popped up in my mind.
I am haunted by my hot pursuit of and relentless contemplations around being a woman, a SATISFIED woman.

So I am thinking about my past lovers, why chose them and if I’d do things differently. I admit to you that I made choices in lovers with a cloud of limiting beliefs over my head. I told myself that I can’t have this, Im not entitled to that, all men do this, so I’d better just do that sort of thing.

Always settling. Always “agreeable“.
Why? Because I was more concerned with “purity”, with keeping myself ‘honorable” and unsullied than satisfied and compensated….

My vagina’s “body count” was low; my mind insisted that I had to keep it low because I associated my self worth with ‘how many’ got to plow my wet flower pedals. I was more concerned about that than being sexually satisfied actually.
Awww, the self murder, the useless priorities, the posing…

Episode after episode of sexual “duty” with little to no sense of DUTY cycled back to me.

African American Native American art

And with every man I laid with, there was a “filthiness” left behind, not because of the act itself although I have come to conclusion that body fluids that are NOT yours are likened unto a noxious, petre dishes of frothing pus and bloody spores waiting to invade and hatch inside your yoni through his ejaculation.(I want to throw my phone away after rereading that last line)

The *filthy feeling was from being “duped” though. I thought it was the ACT OF SEX itself, but with further examination of my feelings the “humiliation” I felt was from the unkept “promises” from these men.
My stupidity was believing in “dreams” , and Acting like the things he expressed that HE wanted, were the things he wanted with ME. More times than not, my assumption was for naught.

So I had sex for broken promises.
I had sex for “Thank You, that was great”
I had sex to show that I was committed, a team player.
I had sex to prove my worth.

And got ‘nothing” in return…. nothing to brag about at least…

Hump….. shaking my head….
It took me a looooooooong time to come to a solid conclusion about the value o sex, its purpose in a woman life I mean…
It wasn’t the *body count* that was ‘dishonorable’ or reduced my self worth, it was these MOTHER SUCKIN BYTCHE MADE MEN WHO USED MY VAGINA FOR THEIR BENEFIT WITHOUT RECIPROCATING the benefits they received that TAINTED my soul and my perception of my own SELF worth!!!
Not getting what I was promised is WHAT BROUGHT ME GUILT, PAIN AND SHAME….

That’s a revelation, isn’t it? But if you give it some thought, you might share in my conclusions.

The gag is this: EVERY woman who is NOT a VIRGIN is a WHORE.

  • AND We ALL will wear these HATS

We are born the MAIDEN.
Become the WHORE/WIFE
Then The MOTHER
Then the WIDOW
The typical cycle of a woman life…

African American Art
Art by Salkis Re “Eyota and Her Thunderbird”

So being a whore is an inevitable consequence if you take one dkye in your mouth or 25.
Your goal isn’t to AVOID BECOMING A WHORE!! Your goal is to use your sexuality for the betterment of YOUR life through marriage/commitment/ AND MONEY!!!

If you are JUST looking for pleasure, if you are merely using your vagina as a n instrument for pleasure on your part or HIS, you are wasting your essential slime.
You are putting wear and tear on your body for NO JUST CAUSE.

Sex is GOOD, SEX IS OUTSTANDINGLY MAGNIFICENT in fact IF its accompanied with a PURPOSE and a goal that reaps benefits long after you’ve washed his slime from your cervix.

Mother’s Day is coming and some of you will open your knees in gratitude of the Roses and Roasted Chicken and Mash Potato dinner that you could have bought for yourself..

So what it the truth about your value?

You get to decide/enforce what it is.
No matter what ‘offer’ is put in front of you, YOU still get to say whether its acceptable or not.
And it’s your AGREEMENT with that offer that dictates what you are, NOT THE OFFER ITSELF!!!
The moment you say YES to anything given to you, your value is then etched in stone!

So the moral here is what?
That you are a whore.. And there is nothing in THAT to be ashamed about.

And the ONLY time should be ashamed about putting a penis in your vagina, whether WIFE or GIRLFRIEND is when no stable PROVISIONS accompany your vaginal lubrication.

“PUT ON YOUR BLACK HAT”
Life Coach| Artist| Author| Poet
~Salkis Re
Art by Salkis Re

Beautiful African American Women
Life Coach, Salkis Re

So if any of this resonates with you, and you want MORE wisdom personalized to help you fight your insecurities and mediocre relationships, I am your girl.

Why me? Cause I’ve been the underdog for most of my life.

While a painful position it has been, it was also a gift, because people rarely were pretentious around me. People are only compelled to pretentiousness if they feel the need to “Impress” you.

They didn’t with me,  BUT this gave me the opportunity to see into people’s souls, to see the true nature of men AND women..

Don’t come to me if you want to feel good. I don’t do any of that. You come to me to solve your problems and most of the time it will not be pleasant, but it will FREE YOU!

Click HERE