Sooo somebody said that Wendy Williams os out not he dating scene since coming out a few months ago with the announcement of her split from her husband.
I was reading a post on my facebookabout the term “Cougar” and one of my FB friends said that she felt it wasn’t a complimentary term to be called.
Being a Cougar Means That You Are Dik Chaser With Wrinkles
Cougar means an older woman who prefers younger men. But the context of that title is relative to older women who are really washed up dik chasers looking for a last hoorah!
I tell women all the time to be careful to take your time with new relationships, especially if you are an older woman because it is assumed that you are desperate and needy and lonely and hard up for companionship and love. And it doesn’t matter how successful you are at your job, or how many degrees you have or credentials, at the end of the day, you are just a woman lookin g for love..
Dried Up Choochies Are More Compliant
But what men tend to do is indoctrinate women with an artifice conclusion that assumes that there really is no reason to “hold out” when you are a woman of a certain age because you should be more grateful that anyone would want to face your dried up choochie!
But honestly, holding out is discouraged at every stage of your life, for it is in no way exclusive to geriatric women looking for a boy toys to play with..
Too Old to Protect Your Heart?
If you are an older woman looking for love, you have to understand that the likelihood that a potential lover assumes that you are wounded and therefore extremely compliant is VERY HIGH!
So you have to ask yourself if protecting your heart, mind and body are now antiquated issues that are really irrelevant for this stage of your life…
Who AM I?
I am an Ugly Girl who paints beautiful girls while helping women feel better about themselves
Early rising helps bye think about the message I want to convey.
So I thought about.
And this post came to mind because of an exchange I had about relationships with a man on my facebook page
Men LOVE to tell a woman what to think..
To them, we all have the mentality of a 10 year girl who needs to be taught what to feel and what to think..
When you start trusting yourself, your own wisdom that your experiences have taught you, your eyes will become WIDE OPEN to the fallibilities of men.
Your insecurities and self doubt are how men get their needs met for little to no cost, for their mission (not all but most) is to either become the source of your confidence or knock you down a peg or two if you come equip with your own self governance…
You don’t have love and you think it’s because you are an unattractive black woman with a:
no curves etc… It’s not because of ANY of those reasons!! Yes.
People you who are apart of this society will come to you with their “programmed” perceptions of your worth.
Who can use you without your participation? Who can lie to without your belief in them? Who can string you along without your patience?
You don’t get what you want because you let “them” beat the PASSION out of you! You don’t get what you want because you are “The Walking Dead”. Soulless. An Inanimate mass of flesh waiting for “them” to “Turn You On”!
This why YOU don’t have what you want. Being “Nice” or “Good” doesn’t translate into PASSION. And you have to ask yourself this: What am I willing to lose to show who I truly am?
Can you bear the criticism? Can you stomach looking like you are crazy? Can you come to terms with your unconventional looks and the skin suit you wear?
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If you are unattractive AND boring, there is no hope for you. Just jump off the next bridge to put yourself out of your own misery!
But if you don’t want to end it all: THEN RISK IT ALL. Put yourself on blast! Speak what’s onyour mind! Do what your God has assigned for you. And let the chips fall where they got damn may!! . “Ugly Girl Ambassador” Founder of “The Ugly Girl’s Club” ~Salkis Re
Why Should You Heed My Advice?
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please do share them, and leave a comment to let me know
So I’ve been hammering at the point of arresting the worry
and self doubt you may harbor over how you look.
I have had to battle with my self esteem for most of my life.
I did things to try to fit on, to try to e liked, try to be LOVED..
And there was nothing that is DID that actually helped me experience self love.
Nothing aesthetically I mean…
I had to find a way to compensate for my visual shortcomings.
So at some point I had to find a way to compensate for my visual shortcomings.
I became a hair stylist and worked hard until I had my own salon,
I made women beautiful for a living.
And I wanted to make women beautiful for a living because I thought
that if I surrounded myself with beautiful women,
then somehow their beauty would rub off on me..
Nothing rubbed off. Not one damn smear!
But what happened was that I began to be an ear for the stories of my clients. I began to me the counselor and the beauty consultant and the priest and the mother a lot of these women needed.
It opened my eyes to things, to notions I had about certain “types’ of women.
I came to a conclusion that none of us have it necessarily ‘better” than others of us.
Same pain different face.
Same worry, pretty face.
Same rejection, nice body..
What an eye opener is was when I started becoming more interested in their stories than putting conditioner in their hair..
I was hooked!
I had another calling I didn’t realize was inside of my heart.
Something that had nothing to do with superficial pretty and more to
do with healing the heart and stabilizing the emotions and the ramblings of the mind.
Maybe you need someone to talk too..
Maybe you haven’t had the best relationship with your mother and you desperately need some wisdom and help in making decisions in your life..
This is why I paint, why I write, why I consult and console women..
I need your attention.
I need for you to understand the messages I convey.
because I truly believe, with all my heart,
that what I give in the way of advice and creativity can
change your perspective of your value, your purpose, your desires..
“Tune In” Written by Salkis Re Nobody has a problem rating others until it is time to rate themselves. Beauty then becomes speculative
as they disregard
what their own mirror tells.
All of a sudden
when the tables turn on you
you want kindness and understanding,
but asked to rate anybody else
you don’t see your words as reprimanding.
So I choose not to play
with your head games
and just walk a path of my own.
And Never again
will I look to others
to confirm what I’ve always known.
This road will be a lonely one
as I abandon all those fake friends,
and all these family members
who make assume I could
be vulnerable with them.
I will put flowers in my hair
and let sun’s rays be my biggest fan.
And finally sit down
surrounded by nature
no longer needing
them to love me as I am.
Mistress of Words
Art by Salkis Re
Painting: “Tune In”