So I did a video today addressing this thing called jealousy that kicks our assessment as women. We see a stunning woman and poof! We turn back into Cinderella BEFORE she wore the glass slippers.
But have no fear, your Self Esteem Coach is here to rescue you from the your own self loathe.
You must know that you are fabulous and you can be even more fabulous when you “nuture” and water the grass under your feet. We cannot not be what we weren’t born as nor what we are too lazy to become.
Watch the Video to see me and hear me give you the tips to finally smack the shyte out of jealousy.
So this has been an interesting few days. I have been scolded in a few facebook art groups for the commentary that usually accompanies my artwork. I have never been an artist to just post a pic of my work with the measurements and a buy now link at the bottom of it. That is fuvking boring and it doesn’t stimulate emotions like words along with work do.
No Why NO WAY!
But I understand that this is my way of doing things, this is my “style” and I get it: I LOVE IT! But my problem is when the admins of these groups tell me how I ‘should’ present my work. I was told recently that I should just stick to art instead of writing a “book” length post because the opinion was that I didn’t write well enough to lend relevance to my work.
BIHHHHHHHHHH! lllmao. It is always these washed up, non visionary artists that want to lend critique on the way an artist should present their work. My art started because I wanted to illustrate a book I was writing, so I would have never picked up a brush if I didn’t have a need to ‘write” something. But I’m thankful this happened though, because it forced me to audit my time and where I was dispersing my energies, and booooooy was I wasting time “entertaining” people who really didn’t care for my words.
I think this is a sign that I’m getting better at orchestrating my words though, the fact that I’m making people’s skin crawl with what means that they are tasting the bitter medicine of truth. I tell my fans that they have to develop a thick skin. Yes. You have to grow armor and not give a fuvk what people think: especially people who have nothing and who’s lives offer little to no fuvking semblance of where you aspire to be.
Naked in Stilettoes
If you want to show off your artwork while twirling a baton in stilettos and a see-through tu-tu , then DO IT! Seriously though, you got to know the “why” behind what you do or you will drift with every insinuation these forking losers can muster up while they take a break from their miserable lives. I am invested in my success as an artist, and exposing all the dimensions of myself with the world. AND meeting the people who show tangible appreciation for what it is I do is the mission..
Listen, make you voice heard. Do your art with passion and curiosity to make yourself better with each canvas you paint on. Insecurity is the demon to slay. Insecurity affects you physically, mentally, emotionally, financially and all the other ALLY’s I left out.
“Your Life Coach, Artist, Author, Poet” ~Salkis Re
Fie Art by Salkis Re
Click the Website link to get some original, sweet, beautiful art that shows black women in loving way! : www.iloveherart.com
Never had a real shot at this love thing. I’m either caught begging or regretting. I’m either settling or chasing. They love me and I don’t love them, or I love them and they could care less about me. Been looking for the circle of reciprocity for as long as penises have entered my vagina. I hurt and supplied hurt. I sit at the window of my thoughts hoping that my karma has finally burned out for a fresh start at this romance game. Looking for someone I could be proud to call my own. Will it come? I’m not sure. I hope so. I can only settle my mind, body and soul in preparation for receiving it. But I got a million stories out the heartbreak deal, and my willingness to share has made for new friends. I would rather they not try to exploit my transparency cause its as if they think I expose myself in order to be used again.. Lol I laugh when they come trying to put band aids on old wounds.
I’m bored with their attempts to console me. Don’t play me for a victim because I have exposed myself to you. Those things you know of me have been worked out already, so its time to tell me about you. Can you reveal the things that make you look less put together? Can you show vulnerability? Will you show concern for me more than proper manners of “how are you”? How deep will you go to have me in your world? That is the question. Stop trying to figure out how you can get something out of me without risk or loss. You will have to give up something to be with me, your job is simply to decide how much of a risk im worth you taking. Its as simple as that. I win however the dice may role. There are plenty of ‘sure bets’ out here so don’t try to guilt me into offering you the opportunity to receive the results you are used to getting for those girls who are not goal oriented. I am not a manipulator: what I am however, is an “Uncoverer”, and by the time I’m finished finding out all you try to hide we both will be giggling as we relax into friendshipping each other.
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My mother always said “Even if yuh dun need, yuh need!” Translation: Make a man useful by needing him to do things for you. Now my mom is like me. She is soft and non aggressive, but she definitely gets what ever she wants by being her sweet feminine self. I have been talking a great deal about feminine charm, and us as women need to take another look at the most receptive way to posture in order to have a peaceful and fulfilling relationship.
There is too much blame and vindictiveness going on among us as women. Too many pity party’s and rants about our disappointments in men and not enough effective introspection and behavioral modification. They treat us bad and we respond in kind. Then they treat us bad some more and we rebut with more revenge. The cycle just spins out of control with no end in site.
I really believe that femininity is power. Submissiveness doesn’t have to be jail time if done with a mission to achieve and receive the things you want and desire. Real men are not compelled to care for women who act like men. Having an attitude invites contempt and defensiveness ,not respect. Speak what you want gently yet firmly as if you expect to get it. Ditch the loud, abrasive tone and stand your ground by expectation, not fights.
And if you don’t get what you want, then you pull back quietly. No announcement please!! Just do more of you to fill the space of whatever you were doing for him. BUT, I must say that you should ALWAYS be busy being and doing you. Just because you are in a relationship doesn’t mean you give up your interests and passions. If you start falling off your program, you will become a bore quickly. Be busy with life. ALWAYS. And with sweetness make your demands so he can be the man he is designed to be: a problem solver!
Some pretty jacked up stuff has been going down in my life lately. Like major life changing ish! But I feel a little confused because I feel relieved for some strange reason. It’s like I don’t have to pretend anymore. I don’t have to be unsure of what I have to do. I’m devastated yet free at the same time. I’m emotionally ready to move back to GA or Florida. I’m still trying to decided but I definitely know its time to be back on the east coast.
I didn’t realize until recently that I’d been holding my breath for a few years. Waiting for the other shoe to drop.. And it finally did. I’m not ready to talk about the specifics of things until all my affairs are finalized, and even then, I may not tell. I have to keep a little grain of my honor I guess. But I will say this: to be a woman is a special special gift to me, one that I am appreciating more and more everyday. I am ready for peace, I am ready for romance. I want my soul mate and I want him now… I never said that out loud…*giggles but it feels good to admit it.
Let see what the heavens can muster up for me. In the mean time, I will keep on creating art pieces for you to connect with. My ‘girls” are more therapeutic to me now than ever before.. Get some love and hang it on your wall is all I can say… Hugs
I have a few unmentionables. Things that have caused me shame in my life. Things that a few people know and maybe more than I think know because you just never know if your secrets are held sacred after you utter them. I wish I could go back in time, I wish it so badly. But I can’t. The ‘damage’ is done and I have to live on. But this thing called shame is paralyzing. Its like you walk one egg shells hoping you won’t be found out, like living while looking over your shoulder everyday. I can’t do that anymore. I won’t. There is no power in pretense. There is no glory in being discreet if your deeds haunt you, if you can’t forgive yourself. I’m for women. ALL of us. I love my prayer warriors and my jump off’s, and my paid hoes and poor sluts. I have been them all, unwillingly perhaps, led by fear most probably, trying to survive mostly.
The fat gene won a few times but…
I know what its like to feel the thrust of man’s third leg inside me that didn’t care about me. I know what its like to “pretend” not to care while I let him do it too! I know what its like to latch on to someone because I thought this was the last train for me, that this was the best I’d ever get. I know what its like to pretend not to want anything so I’d be free feeling what I thought was inevitable disappointment. I know what its like to have a baby to keep the peace and get rid of one to keep “my peace”. I have been homeless. I have slept in my car. I know what a grocery store run feels like when you only have 5 dollars in your pocket for peanut butter and bread, but I also know what its like to give my savings away to my man’s next big business venture only to have nothing but a garage full of novelty trash that wouldn’t sell. I fought the fat gene, won a few times, lost a few and Im winning right now and have a deeper understanding to stay here too.
Dear God, it’s me Salkis!
I spent a lot of time trying figure out what I wanted to do, what I wanted to be good at.. But that voice in my head was always nagging at me, telling me this ain’t gonna work or that ain’t gonna work. I even thought that being dark skin was a curse. I think I was 11 or 12 years old when I’d have frequent ‘talks’ with God about my complexion and I’d make deals with him I’d pass all my math tests and stop stealing the Fig Newtons out the cookie jar if he just would make me lighter skinned. Every morning, I ran to the mirror believing something changed, but there I was, just the same as the night before.
I’d say: “You don’t love me God, if you did, you’d answer my prayers….”
Sex and donuts…
This is why I speak of self esteem and self awareness so much. I can see in the eyes of many women, the anguish, the confusion, the fear and dissatisfaction within their existence. I know it well. Even the psychics and the oracles can’t hide that look from me. I know what they are feeling too. Bravado means nothing. The “I can do what I want to do” doesn’t mean a hill of beans. Its like one rice grain to a hungry belly. Only the strong will survive? No. Not true. Only the people who make the right decisions at the right time survive, only those who exercise purposeful discipline will survive. Much of our bumps in the road is do to lack of discipline, laziness, gluttony, focus. These things make one sick, broke, unhealthy etc.. Good sex is pleasurable, and I don’t know about you but glazed donut makes me hum my favorite tune. But are they good for us just because they bring us pleasure? That is what we have to reason out with the decisions we make.
So I decided that my goal, what I wanted to center myself around was love, self love in particular, but all aspects of it because it shapes and influences every part of our lives. I want love to be simple. I want the me that I was before I thought I needing fixing, the me that I was before the need to repair.. Before I was 11 years old I suppose….
If you’re like me, then you’d appreciate the Art walk back in time. Introspection is healing Click Here
Dr. Sebi is one of those fearless people I’ve had the pleasure of spending one on one time with, and a nonstop comedy show actually. No filter, no edits, no “I shouldn’t say that”. Non of that. He is the first, well the only person I know that I was able be totally free to talk to about anything. You couldn’t make him blush, nothing was a ‘bad thing to say’ or inappropriate. He talked about his stint in the crazy hospital diagnosed with schizophrenia and how he cured his insanity and other ailments through diet and herbs. He talked a lot about his sex life. He leaned forward in his easy chair, took a puff to prep for his statement and yelled out: “I love to f%%k, No, NO, I LIVE TO F%%K” My mouth dropped and then I burst out laughing at the way he expressed his love of the p$$$y like he was reading the book of revelations. I wanted to jump up and say AMEN, but I was too busy laughing in shame at his bravado.
I Should Have Smoked With Him…
Sebi went in the back room and came out with a carry on size suitcase, he opened it up and it was full of weed. He looked at me smiling and I guess he was expecting me to prance up and down at the sight of plethora of green goodness, but I sat there with my mouth open. I think I lost some credibility with him cause I wouldn’t light one up cause he gave me this “Oh you one of them” looks. I did plan to try the peyote he raved about though, but I was scared of that too, hehe. I managed to muster up some courage to try the snake powder though. Pablo (Sebi’s right hand man) said, “Here Eat it, it cleans the blood”. With a squeamish look on my face, I sprinkled some powered on my tongue and waited to hurl, but It wasn’t bad though. It had a dried fish taste to me..
So back to Sebi. I sat there waiting for another wave of shameless banter to come from his lips but I had to wait for Pablo to finish rolling out his blunts, Sebi moved his attention to the soccer game on his wide screen while Pablo prepped the accoutrements for Sebi’s nonstop weed smoking fest. He lined up about 6 spliffs side by side on a little coffee table and put it next to Sebi’s chair with a lighter. The attendants came in with soup and tea for him. The food got cold, the tea collected dust, but ” Deh Erbs Cum Ahrund” like Collie Buddz say, lol. Well about an hour into the conversation I was in full contact off the smoke and I felt more relaxed and got the nerve up to ask him more personal questions. There was a young lady coming in and out of the bungalow periodically. She made his bed and picked up laundry and removed the food they kept bringing him that he wouldn’t eat. I’d catch her giving me the side eye every so often and I realized that she was possibly one of Sebi’s side chics.
Sebi Likes them young but..
So I asked Sebi why he liked young girls . He said “I don’t want them, they want me and I can’t even insult them away from me, so I keep them around until they want to leave!” I looked at him and hung my head cracking up. Could this man be anymore full of himself I thought. But he was dead serious. “See I don’t believe in forcing people to love you, they either love you or they don’t. I don’t own anybody and they don’t own me!” So Sebi, you don’t get jealous? ” I asked. ” Once I caught my wife in bed f^^king another man, I told them don’t stop on my account, I’m just going to get my things so keep on f^^king!”. I bursted out laughing again but I was a little puzzled by his indifference, so the next question was: “SO you wouldn’t even fight for your woman Sebi?”
He took a puff and looked at me with this crazy look. “If she was mine, if she wanted to be with me, would I need to fight for her?” I’m not fighting with you or for you to be with me. We are all free.” He said. I looked at him and he looked at me. I had to process that you a minute. So simple yet powerfully true. He looked at me and I guess he knew he crushed some of my notions of love, but then I snapped back to life. “Wait Wait! You left your wife for sleeping around on you,but you expect your woman to stay with you if you cheat!” “I don’t expect sh&*t! If she feels another man can f$$k her better than me, I will help her pack and give him some herbs to keep hard too!”
*Dead.. I flat lined at that point and brother had to excuse himself for the umteenth time choking with laughter.
So clearly he is not into sharing his woman and not into keeping her if she don’t want to be kept. I asked about sex again. I couldn’t resist,lol. “Sebi you never had a good piece of a$$ to get you strung out? Be careful cause one of these young sweet thangs will put it on you and you will change your tune!” “I had a good piece of a$$. Actually, the best a$$ I ever had was from an older women, she was 65 at the time. She just knew how to touch me, that was the best a$$ I have ever had to this day! Sebi said. Laughing louder now cause I see his face and he is thinking about that woman deeply now. “So Sebi why didn’t you wife her up if she was the best you ever had?” He takes a puff why staring at the T.V. screen.. “Well I was married at the time, and she didn’t want to be my second wife!” I Flat lined again beeeeeeep.
We talked for a few more hours and to sum up what I learned of love from this crazy, wonderful man is that self love is all you need to sustain your life, Its all you need to have a happy life filled with love. “Lovers come and go, right! Are you with your first love? NO! SO what is the same? YOU. You are the same, You carry yourself with you everywhere, so the only thing you HAVE to love is yourself!” Sebi said while wagging his finger in my face.
Awwww… Self Love is the way to everything we want isn’t it? Did you like this little snapshot of wisdom? Well subscribe so you don’t miss all of my insights and creative thoughts. And I have love you can take home with you right now, Have a look here: Love Love Love!
The unpleasant side of being an artist is having to deal with all the flakes and foolery from folks who pretend that they are interested in buying. I used to entertain conversations with anyone who made a statement about my work, especially on social media. But these days I have very guarded with my time and the emotional conversation pertaining to my art.
I GET SOME STUPID ASS QUESTIONS!!
I had to deal with a very combative troll a few weeks ago asking me why I don’t paint boys in my art. I simply said “Because I do what I want to do!” But he kept igging me on, trying to figure out if I’m some closet feminist man hater. I assumed because I didn’t have any pictures up with men. (I’ve never paraded my relationships on social media and I never will.) But I got hot about this because as an artist, I don’t have to ‘answer’ to anyone about why I do what I do. I never heard anyone ask an artist who only paints animals why they don’t paint people or artists who paint nature scenes why they don’t paint skyscrapers!!
And its always these mother suckers that what to make ‘suggestions’ about what you should add to your body of work: but if you added it for their sake, they still wouldn’t or probably could afford to buy from you. They are energy drainers indeed and I immediately put the brakes on when I see them. Everyone who ‘likes’ your work is NOT your market. And I had to learn that the hard way.
WOMAN ASKS ME WHY IM CHARGING SO MUCH!!
OMG! that conversation took all the restraint I had left and there wasn’t much to begin with. I told this girl the price of an original art piece and she goes into a whole dialog about being a young mother, not a corporate CEO and she wanted the painting for her daughter. Then she continues by asking about my pricing structure. I told her that I offered her the option of buying a print which was more within range of what she could afford, I even offered a payment plan for the original! And she was still yapping about pricing.
I politely told her that I don’t based my price or alter it because someone has a low paying job, or unemployed, or plan to give to their 1 year old daughter… That has nothing to do with me. By the end of the conversation, what she wanted was to license the art piece and she thought by buying the original that it gave her the right to reproduce it!! WTF!!! LOL SHe came back a few minutes later with the “My boyfriend said I was wrong and owed you an apology”.. Uh Yeah Whatever.
Needless to say, I had to fall back.. I mean waaaaay back from all the noise. I don’t allow people to gets minutes of my time when it starts with me having to alter anything. I see people try to play the emotional game and I guess that works for some, but I am very clear on the ‘why’ of my art business. Im not conflicted at all about the value I bring to the world…
If your an artist, tell me your experiences with the public and how you handle it! And subscribe so you don’t miss out!