How to Handle Manipulators

So I was thinking about Passive Aggressive men this morning and what I wanted to
say about them since some of you have emailed me with your concerns about how to avoid or manage passive aggressive men.
I want to you to understand how I think of  these labels like
Narcissist,
Manipulators,
Passive Aggressive,
Pathological Liars
These are all fancy fartsy terms for people who are dedicated to getting you to do what they want you to do regardless if its hurtful or dangerous or selfish on their part.
The passive aggressive person will throw insults in the form of a question,
they will state opinions wrapped around the pretense of ignorance.
They will not come out and say what they feel because way back when they were young,
their opinions were shot down, so they’ve learned to spare themselves the pain of
rejection for the things they want by never being clear about what they feel or what they want..
The Pathological liar is usually egoistic and have low levels of self-pride.
One of their traits are that of story changing.
They usually cannot remember the previous lie, so they make up a completely new lie to keep the illusion going.
Pathological liars
The Manipulator is one who exploits other people specifically for their own gain.
They are experts at fishing out a persons weaknesses
Here are 4 common traits of a Manipulator:
  1. They know how to detect your weaknesses.
  2.  They use your weaknesses against you.
  3. Through their shrewd effort, they convince you to give up something of yourself in order to serve their self-centered interests.
  4. Once a manipulator succeeds in taking advantage of you, he or she will likely repeat the violation until you put a stop to the exploitation.
The Narcissist spends time demeaning outer people. It’s important for that person to make everyone around them feel small and insignificant.
A Narc needs constant approval and praise to feel self worth and has an abnormal feeling of gracious importance..
They exploit people without guilt or shame….
abstract potrait painting
“I Understand” Original Art by Salkis RE
All these types of people TAKE without giving.
They demand from you what they do not feel the need to give in return.
They are all users, some aggressively, some not.
But they will all make you feel uncomfortable with who you are.
They will all make what you are asking for seem pointless and have a total disregard for your feelings whether by outright insults or sarcasm…
You “Handle” people like this by having your own agenda.
And your simple vow is to put yourself first at all times because someone who truly cares about you; they will not want to take anything from you that you don’t want to give, They will respect your boundaries and your feelings..
You handle them ALL by never doing anything you don’t feel comfortable with doing. You destroy their power by becoming a FELINE!! 

Be a Pussy Kat!

You are wondering how to be?

You want to know what you need to do and say and be to get the things you want in life.

And it is really as simple as adopting the nature of a feline..

African Art  by Salkis Re
“Ms Kitty Says” Original Art by Salkis Re Click Here


The magic that is a Cat is something so majestic, so mysterious, so gentle and fierce and it really cannot be compared to anything thing else in this world.

Your nature should be congruent with your expectations. You can’t act one way (that you realize is ineffective) and expect to get the results you want.

Most of reasons why we suffer as women is through in indoctrination of guilt.

 

Guilt is a powerful persuasive technique because it creates self doubt and weakness within the mind.

 

Cats are superior opportunists and do not linger around past your usefulness.

They get their food and leave.

They come and demand your attention and then leave again.

They rub up against your leg and prrrrr for a while and the leave.

They’ll even bring you a freshly killed mouse as a gift of generosity….

and then the leave.

You can be loved and completely ignored by that same cat which makes you love the cat even more.

 

 

If someone can make you feel guilt and shame, THEY OWN YOU! PERIODT!

So you my dear, you must become like the feline, ever on her purpose, not easily impressed to care or not.

She is a watcher,

quiet,

yet you feel her presence when she is in the room…

BE A KAT!!! Prrrrrrr

 

She will not “cum” to you until SHE wants too……
Beautiful Black Women in relationships

Who AM I?

I am an Ugly Girl who paints beautiful girls while helping women feel better about themselves

Need My Help? Send me an email to info@salkisre.com

info@theuglygirlsclub.com

Ready to take a chance and get some badass wisdom to turn your life around now? Click Here

Get your free e-book here

How Not to Influence People

How NOT To Influence People

You Cannot Influence ANYONE

if you do it from a position powerlessness.

This is why I do not engage in conversations about

why black men don’t like dark skin girls or whether “Light Skin Privilege

( fair skin women enjoy real relationships and happy lives)

is an actual thing for us to worry about, or even why

black men are going to white women or traveling

outside the U.S. to find exotic women to marry…

black and white painting

What other woman experience is NOT a measure of what you can’t get or what you will experience yourself!

The only way you could have similar resultsis if you mirror how that other woman thinks, And I’m not interested (nor should you be) in believing that YOU cannot have what YOU DESERVE TO HAVE!

Why are you parroting off talking points from anyone who tells you that you don’t have a chance in hell to get what you want?

Do You value freedom?

Don’t you want to feel free??

Well what is freedom?

FREEDOM Doing what you want

when you want

with who you want!

African American Art
Artist/Life Coach
~Salkis RE

Freedom To Me Means HAVING A CHOICE!

And your first step to being able to choose what you want, is to OWN WHAT YOU WANT!

Meaning, don’t ever again feel ashamed for wanting something

whether that be a millionaire husband, having a lots of your own money,

having a child, being attractive, or living your life purpose!

African American Art
Art by Salkis Re Click the Image

You Can’t Get to Freedom by thinking that Life is Journey***

Only poor, undisciplined, insecure people talk that nonsense about a journey!

You have to live on purpose just like you did when you went to

school everyday to get your degree, or go to the gym workout..

You do things to get a forking RESULT, not for a journey!!

black artists

Why Should You Heed My Advice?

If you enjoy these emails packed with nuggets of wisdom, please do share them, and leave a comment to let me know how you feel about what I’ve said..

“Life Coach”

“Artist”

“Author”

“Poet”
~Salkis Re

Need My Help? Send me an email to info@salkisre.com

Ready to take a chance and get some badass wisdom to turn your life around now? Click Here

Get your free e-book here

You Are Leaving Him Because You Are Bored???

As I coach women lately, I’m finding that many

of you are considering ending stable

relationships because the man is “boring”

and seems to be unable to stimulate you emotionally.

 

He pays the bills

He pays the bills, you don’t have to wonder where food and shelter will come from.

You get what ever you wants BUT you’re bored..

 

Exciting Men Will LEAVE!

These men with “community deicks” bring a lot of excitement.

They are undisciplined, unpredictable, care-free and purpose driven for fun,

and can offer that feeling of being “wanted” that you prize so much.

 

Intellectual Men Are Manipulators

Those “Intellectual” prophets can tell you something you never heard before,

wow you with recitations of cosmic theory and speculations

of our origins of man while he ‘experiences you instead of claiming you’: just like Nipsy did to Lauren….

On SALE NOW ” “DO You Still Love Me?”

STOP BEING A FOOL!

Don’t let your emotions make a fool out of you.

A regimented man can fiancé your need for “stimulation”

He can provide the resources you need to get out

of your dissatisfaction with what you are.

BE the stimulator.
Be the catalyst.
Be the fantasy.
Be the PURPOSE for your own life and stop being a brat

for attention and go find something constructive to do…

Thick LocsWhy Should You Heed My Advice?

Because I’m CRAZY, a nonconformist, AND an introvert who

had to bind her insecurities and throw that b#tch in the closet so

I could pound the pavement and be found by good women like you!

“Your Self Esteem Coach”
~Salkis Re

Need My Help? Send me an email to info@salkisre.com

Ready to take a chance and get some

wisdom to turn your life around now? Click Here

Why Women Stay With Bad Men!

Someone “made” you feel ugly?
Some “made” you feel insecure?
Someone “made” your worthless?
All he did was express how he felt about you..
He gave you his perspective and packaged it with a sales pitch.

He habitually stated that pitch until your resistance withered away.

Why didn’t you defend yourself?
Why didn’t YOU walk away?
You Want the TRUTH?

Because he never told you a “lie”!!
He told you everything you ALREADY believed about yourself!
And though his words hurt to hear, it made you feel comfortable and

even “Closer” to him because you shared the same feelings about yourself…

FACTS!

Don’t blame him for holding up the mirror.
The question to ask is:
How do you feel about you?
If you Answer that honestly, your healing can begin…

So what do we want to do here exactly.

What you want to do is start clearing up misconceptions and opinions and “Truths”

that do not support the narrative you WANT to believe in!

I have said it before, and I will say it yet again.

Everything you think that you are is “Make Believe”,

it starts off as a feeling,

then from that feeling inspires an action

then from the action, you create a habit.

Then before long,

you’ve done or thought  whatever it is for so long that it moves as a truth in your life,

dictating and altering your perception of your reality..

We want to rewire our brains.

This is how you heal from ANYTHING. I don’t care what it is.

The depression, the disease, the lack ALL stem from your beliefs.

And your beliefs are NOTHING BUT DECISIONS MADE OVER AND OVER AGAIN..

You can start to change by become “AWARE” of everything you feel.

“Becoming aware means that you start catching yourself in the mist of doing something habitual. 


That negative self talk, or going for that piece of cake you don’t need,

you see what you are doing and from there you will want to start to questioning your behavior.

Why am I saying this about myself?

Why am I grabbing the chocolate cake when I know it makes me feel unstable?

What is it that I am looking to feel?

Am I trying to relieve my anxiety?

Am I trying to distract myself from pain?

What you want to start doing in begin to FEEL everything so

that you have to opportunity to question everything that you feel.


To pose a question breaks the script!

It breaks your confidence in your “Truth”.

It requires you to THINK!

THINKING is what will strengthen you!

Why?

Because thinking requires that you find TRUE answers…

THINKING brings the gift of resolution.

THINKING means that you get to change the narrative

when you figured out that what you believe is bull s%Jt!

Why Should You Heed My Advice?

Because I’m CRAZY, a nonconformist,

AND an introvert who had to bind her insecurities

and throw that bitch in the closet so

I could pound the pavement and be found by good women like you!

“Your Self Esteem Coach”
~Salkis Re

Need My Help? Send me an email to info@salkisre.com

Ready to take a chance and get some

badass wisdom to turn your life around now? Click Here

The One Way to a Healthy Lifestyle

African American Art
“DO I Have Too?”

 

 

Doing what you don’t want to do is usually the best thing that you should do..

This is how life goes.

All the pleasurable things cause tummy aches, unnecessary loses, lies, betrayal and hardships…

I have been talking about simplification for weeks now,

and I guess this will be the theme for the duration.

It is so important that you discipline yourself.

Discipline is such a cuss word these days,

for we see how living in excess seems to be more rewarding than withholding.

But the future will come for all of us.

And what we do today will make the futures days gentle and relaxed or chaotic and regretful…

 

So to be healthy in mind, body and soul… Eat your veggies…..

 

 

Why Should You Heed My Advice?

Because I’m CRAZY, a nonconfirmist, AND an introvert who had to bind her insecurities and throw that bitch in the closet so I could pound the pavement and be found by good women like you!

“Your Self Esteem Coach”
~Salkis Re

Need My Help? Send me an email to info@salkisre.com

Ready to take a chance and get some badass wisdom to turn your life around now? Click Here

1# BEST Way to Accomplish ALL Your Goals

African Art

Achieving Your Goals Is Not Done With Vision Boards!

Authenticity is overrated.
And it will halt all your goals.
And people will shame you for pretending.
And you’ll feel ashamed for pretending.
Then you will go back to what you know.

Then realize -AGAIN- that it doesn’t work.
Then you’ll revisit trying to change.
And you’ll conclude that being unlike the real you is better.
Now all that’s left, is to be that pretender
until you forget that it’s not what you are….

——————————————–

It might feel icky to be a fraud,

but that only because you believe that everyone around is telling

you the truth while being themselves.

You are being humored every DAY.

People are polite, act like they are interested in what you have to say,

some even pretend to be impressed

and attracted to you.

And here you are,

afraid to fail them by adopting a personality to fix your own life,

to get you results that could make you better.

So tell me this, how do you change while staying the same?

How do you grow while staying the same?

How can you get something you’ve never gotten before while having the same mentality?

I’ll answer the answer: It cannot be done!!

Continue reading “1# BEST Way to Accomplish ALL Your Goals”

3 Simple Ways to Get Him Chasing You Again!

You try to fix your relationship

When you try to fix a relationship by giving, you actually make him pull away further.

You don’t reward a complacent heart with charitable humility!!!

Don’t be so hard on yourself, you will do better.

What happens with most of us is that at the first sign of trouble,

you spring into action with a checklist of everything you have to do to win him back.

You make yourself more available to him on every level!

holistic wellness for Black women
Your self Esteem Coach, Salkis Re

Cook meals:
Lose 10 pounds:
Have more sex:
Say YES to whatever he wants:

 

 

And you turn him off even further!!

You think:

“It makes me feel good when a man goes out of his

way to give me what I want,

so it must work the other way around as well.”

But it’s exactly the opposite.
Men love what they give YOU, not how you cater to them..

 

LOVE is about what a person is compelled to do to EARN your affection.

If a woman gives him everything he wants

without him having to work for it, will he treasure it, respect it?

 

👉He treasures what he has to take care of!!
👉He respect what he invest in.
👉He desires what’s hard for him to get..

 

So the goal here is to RELAX, the worst thing you can

do is act like you are afraid to lose him.

Fear and anxiety sends a message that you are unworthy

and that he is worth more to the relationship than you are…

 

It’s not the time to do anything he wants

 

 

It’s not the time to do anything he wants,

its time to make him feel good about giving to you again..

Why do you think when you break up with men

that they start acting well behaved and attentive?

They do this because you have shown him that you are unafraid of living

without him if necessary and that your comfort has to be

his goal too or consequences will be activated..

And let me be clear here, it’s not about making verbal

demands and increasing your sass my dear.

Arguing is a sign of emotional weakness and it

acting is a sign that you are unsure of yourself.

 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO……

 

 1-Get quiet and strategic when he starts acting a fool.

Be even more unbothered emotionally than ever before.

2-Give him his space.

3-Don’t confirm or deny anything.

 

Make it clear what has to happen in order for you

to care about him again, then leave him to decide.

It has to be his decision not your forced ultimatum.

 

beautiful black women with locs

Who Am I?

A “Self Esteem Coach”

Helping Black Women get knowledge about love,

Themselves

and Holistic Living.

Need some advice and guidance?

Send me an email to info@salkisre.com

Ready to have a one on one session with me?

You can book it right here

Be sure before you leave to grab your Free E-BOOK here

 

We Are Not Like Men, But We Can Be Guided By Them”

“We Are Not Like Men, But We Can Be Guided By Them”
Transit time January 25, 2019 3:45 a.m.
🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻

Dark skin women
Your Self Esteem Coach, Salkis Re

👉Men: Give Love /
Women: React

👉Men: Say What They Have Knowledge In/  Women: Say What you Want to hear.

👉Men: Are Vulnerable Mentally /
Women: Are vulnerable Physically

👉Men: Are Impersonal /
Women: Take Everything Personally

👉Men: Fascinated by Reasoning/
Women: Bored and find Reasoning exhausting

👉Men: Praise/  Women: Criticize

👉Men: Invent/  Women: Imitate

I am NOT pointing out these thing as a suggestion that we try to act like men, the goal here is for you to start learning about yourself so that you can be a more effective communicator with men AND you will also being to understand why you say/do the thing YOU do.

And this is why we get repetitiously limited results

And this is why we get repetitiously limited results in our lives as women. We need men to balance us, but women are so broken by numerous failed relationships that every character trait you posses is now pathological in scope.

We fake like we are unicorns flowing through life unbothered, yet it’s part of our disposition to be pretentious and critical of everything EXCEPT ourselves.

KNOWING how you tick means that you know what your triggers

KNOWING how you tick means that you know what your triggers are and how to shift away from a behavior that doesn’t give you the results you’re looking for.

We need to be seen, we NEED to be acknowledged and this need is easily exploitable by men people they have the upper hand of logic and analysis.

You THINK with your body

THINK with your body. You filter your world through a sense of what’s hot or cold, not wrong or right.
So walking with the awareness of this truth allows you to step back a bit because you are giving your body time to settle down so that you can THINK instead of REACT.

A little more mindfulness can help you dodge so many bullets

Take your first tiny little step towards happiness by simply acknowledging that you don’t think things through in the way that you should, and vow to only make a decisions after thinking them through first. A little more mindfulness can help you dodge so many bullets and WILL change your entire life!😉

“Your Self Esteem Coach”
~Salkis Re

Do you want me to help figure out what to do? Drop me a quick email at salkis@iloveherart.com

Please share this post with your friends, colleagues, daughters and mothers😉

What Self Esteem NEVER IS!!

“What They See is NOT What You Are!”
Transmitted on January 23, 2019 7:43 a.m.

Self esteem has NOTHING to do with how you look!

You planned your look in the bathroom,
You rehearsed in your head people’s reactions and responses to how you look .


You’ve spent money to create an image in hopes that you can effectively make people think a certain way about you.

Your presentation is about MARKETING NOT SELF ESTEEM.

Look around you.


I know you know plenty of women who look attractive AND YET they have low self esteem.

You scratch your head and remain confused and maybe even resentful that a woman with all that beauty still find a herself inadequate or depressed.

You’d kill for her body, her pretty teeth and long natural hair..

Because you just can’t understand why she feels that way while looking so freaking gorgeous.
Lies…

Self image is the holy grail of all self help programs catering to Black women.

Change your hair and you’ll raise your self esteem.

Lose weight and you’ll increase your self esteem.

👉Date more men at the same time and you’ll feel less desperate so you can increase your self esteem.(Yes.. Who you date is about self image too)

Self image is NOT SELF Love!!!

Self image is an idea you create in your head, then you project outwardly for others to see so that they think a certain way about you…

👉👉👉Self image is all about who you want people to think you are, NOT what you think about about yourself!!


Your self esteem resides in the TOTAL acceptance what you NOT in how people see you…


“Your Self Esteem Coach”
~Salkis Re

Need help? Drop me a line at salkis@iloveherart.com

Self Esteem Coach, Artist, Author, Poet: Salkis Re