The One Way to a Healthy Lifestyle

African American Art
“DO I Have Too?”

 

 

Doing what you don’t want to do is usually the best thing that you should do..

This is how life goes.

All the pleasurable things cause tummy aches, unnecessary loses, lies, betrayal and hardships…

I have been talking about simplification for weeks now,

and I guess this will be the theme for the duration.

It is so important that you discipline yourself.

Discipline is such a cuss word these days,

for we see how living in excess seems to be more rewarding than withholding.

But the future will come for all of us.

And what we do today will make the futures days gentle and relaxed or chaotic and regretful…

 

So to be healthy in mind, body and soul… Eat your veggies…..

 

 

Why Should You Heed My Advice?

Because I’m CRAZY, a nonconfirmist, AND an introvert who had to bind her insecurities and throw that bitch in the closet so I could pound the pavement and be found by good women like you!

“Your Self Esteem Coach”
~Salkis Re

Need My Help? Send me an email to info@salkisre.com

Ready to take a chance and get some badass wisdom to turn your life around now? Click Here

1# BEST Way to Accomplish ALL Your Goals

African Art

Achieving Your Goals Is Not Done With Vision Boards!

Authenticity is overrated.
And it will halt all your goals.
And people will shame you for pretending.
And you’ll feel ashamed for pretending.
Then you will go back to what you know.

Then realize -AGAIN- that it doesn’t work.
Then you’ll revisit trying to change.
And you’ll conclude that being unlike the real you is better.
Now all that’s left, is to be that pretender
until you forget that it’s not what you are….

——————————————–

It might feel icky to be a fraud,

but that only because you believe that everyone around is telling

you the truth while being themselves.

You are being humored every DAY.

People are polite, act like they are interested in what you have to say,

some even pretend to be impressed

and attracted to you.

And here you are,

afraid to fail them by adopting a personality to fix your own life,

to get you results that could make you better.

So tell me this, how do you change while staying the same?

How do you grow while staying the same?

How can you get something you’ve never gotten before while having the same mentality?

I’ll answer the answer: It cannot be done!!

Continue reading “1# BEST Way to Accomplish ALL Your Goals”

3 Simple Ways to Get Him Chasing You Again!

You try to fix your relationship

When you try to fix a relationship by giving, you actually make him pull away further.

You don’t reward a complacent heart with charitable humility!!!

Don’t be so hard on yourself, you will do better.

What happens with most of us is that at the first sign of trouble,

you spring into action with a checklist of everything you have to do to win him back.

You make yourself more available to him on every level!

holistic wellness for Black women
Your self Esteem Coach, Salkis Re

Cook meals:
Lose 10 pounds:
Have more sex:
Say YES to whatever he wants:

 

 

And you turn him off even further!!

You think:

“It makes me feel good when a man goes out of his

way to give me what I want,

so it must work the other way around as well.”

But it’s exactly the opposite.
Men love what they give YOU, not how you cater to them..

 

LOVE is about what a person is compelled to do to EARN your affection.

If a woman gives him everything he wants

without him having to work for it, will he treasure it, respect it?

 

👉He treasures what he has to take care of!!
👉He respect what he invest in.
👉He desires what’s hard for him to get..

 

So the goal here is to RELAX, the worst thing you can

do is act like you are afraid to lose him.

Fear and anxiety sends a message that you are unworthy

and that he is worth more to the relationship than you are…

 

It’s not the time to do anything he wants

 

 

It’s not the time to do anything he wants,

its time to make him feel good about giving to you again..

Why do you think when you break up with men

that they start acting well behaved and attentive?

They do this because you have shown him that you are unafraid of living

without him if necessary and that your comfort has to be

his goal too or consequences will be activated..

And let me be clear here, it’s not about making verbal

demands and increasing your sass my dear.

Arguing is a sign of emotional weakness and it

acting is a sign that you are unsure of yourself.

 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO……

 

 1-Get quiet and strategic when he starts acting a fool.

Be even more unbothered emotionally than ever before.

2-Give him his space.

3-Don’t confirm or deny anything.

 

Make it clear what has to happen in order for you

to care about him again, then leave him to decide.

It has to be his decision not your forced ultimatum.

 

beautiful black women with locs

Who Am I?

A “Self Esteem Coach”

Helping Black Women get knowledge about love,

Themselves

and Holistic Living.

Need some advice and guidance?

Send me an email to info@salkisre.com

Ready to have a one on one session with me?

You can book it right here

Be sure before you leave to grab your Free E-BOOK here

 

We Are Not Like Men, But We Can Be Guided By Them”

“We Are Not Like Men, But We Can Be Guided By Them”
Transit time January 25, 2019 3:45 a.m.
🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻

Dark skin women
Your Self Esteem Coach, Salkis Re

👉Men: Give Love /
Women: React

👉Men: Say What They Have Knowledge In/  Women: Say What you Want to hear.

👉Men: Are Vulnerable Mentally /
Women: Are vulnerable Physically

👉Men: Are Impersonal /
Women: Take Everything Personally

👉Men: Fascinated by Reasoning/
Women: Bored and find Reasoning exhausting

👉Men: Praise/  Women: Criticize

👉Men: Invent/  Women: Imitate

I am NOT pointing out these thing as a suggestion that we try to act like men, the goal here is for you to start learning about yourself so that you can be a more effective communicator with men AND you will also being to understand why you say/do the thing YOU do.

And this is why we get repetitiously limited results

And this is why we get repetitiously limited results in our lives as women. We need men to balance us, but women are so broken by numerous failed relationships that every character trait you posses is now pathological in scope.

We fake like we are unicorns flowing through life unbothered, yet it’s part of our disposition to be pretentious and critical of everything EXCEPT ourselves.

KNOWING how you tick means that you know what your triggers

KNOWING how you tick means that you know what your triggers are and how to shift away from a behavior that doesn’t give you the results you’re looking for.

We need to be seen, we NEED to be acknowledged and this need is easily exploitable by men people they have the upper hand of logic and analysis.

You THINK with your body

THINK with your body. You filter your world through a sense of what’s hot or cold, not wrong or right.
So walking with the awareness of this truth allows you to step back a bit because you are giving your body time to settle down so that you can THINK instead of REACT.

A little more mindfulness can help you dodge so many bullets

Take your first tiny little step towards happiness by simply acknowledging that you don’t think things through in the way that you should, and vow to only make a decisions after thinking them through first. A little more mindfulness can help you dodge so many bullets and WILL change your entire life!😉

“Your Self Esteem Coach”
~Salkis Re

Do you want me to help figure out what to do? Drop me a quick email at salkis@iloveherart.com

Please share this post with your friends, colleagues, daughters and mothers😉

What Self Esteem NEVER IS!!

“What They See is NOT What You Are!”
Transmitted on January 23, 2019 7:43 a.m.

Self esteem has NOTHING to do with how you look!

You planned your look in the bathroom,
You rehearsed in your head people’s reactions and responses to how you look .


You’ve spent money to create an image in hopes that you can effectively make people think a certain way about you.

Your presentation is about MARKETING NOT SELF ESTEEM.

Look around you.


I know you know plenty of women who look attractive AND YET they have low self esteem.

You scratch your head and remain confused and maybe even resentful that a woman with all that beauty still find a herself inadequate or depressed.

You’d kill for her body, her pretty teeth and long natural hair..

Because you just can’t understand why she feels that way while looking so freaking gorgeous.
Lies…

Self image is the holy grail of all self help programs catering to Black women.

Change your hair and you’ll raise your self esteem.

Lose weight and you’ll increase your self esteem.

👉Date more men at the same time and you’ll feel less desperate so you can increase your self esteem.(Yes.. Who you date is about self image too)

Self image is NOT SELF Love!!!

Self image is an idea you create in your head, then you project outwardly for others to see so that they think a certain way about you…

👉👉👉Self image is all about who you want people to think you are, NOT what you think about about yourself!!


Your self esteem resides in the TOTAL acceptance what you NOT in how people see you…


“Your Self Esteem Coach”
~Salkis Re

Need help? Drop me a line at salkis@iloveherart.com

Self Esteem Coach, Artist, Author, Poet: Salkis Re

So You Wanna be a Sister Wife???

A viewer came to me expressing her desire to be a sister-wife..
Here’s what I shared with her:

I have not seen any long term success with it anyone really.

Not sure what it is but it seems like that relationship dynamic has a high

turnover rate and the lifespan is usually 2 years no more than 5 years if you are lucky. 

black women sister wives
With your Host, Self Esteem Coach, Salkis Re

The ones that have babies will be motivated to stick it out as longer

but not with heavy indoctrination from the husband.

He will tell you that you are “smarter” than other women for accepting

this way of life, that you are intelligent and pragmatic and in tune

with nature, that you lack selfishness and material greed like those other women out there (who get his d^&k hard)

and your title of Queen is repetitively used to stroke your ego and to assure you of your special place (that none of his other women have) in his life.

Inserts sarcasm right about now!

Self esteem Coach, Salkis Re

You want to know the truth?

Only Unattractive Women Fall for this!!

Most women that do this or get picked for this sort of relationship style are usually unattractive or insecure women.

Well not “or” because women you are one are usually the other too.

I don’t know what you don’t like about yourself.

Maybe it’s your age or your gap teeth, or the cellulite on your thighs thats got you settling for this rank and file lifestyle.

Maybe this is all you can really get in the grand scope of things

But what I want to know, all I want to know is if you are doing it because HE told you that this is what you are worth,

or because you have given yourself a brutally honest evaluation and this is what you feel will bring you peace and some semblance of joy…

The clock is ticking my dear..

No more time for bluffing yourself. What do YOU want?

Your Self esteem Coach, Salkis Re

TALK TO ME!

“Assertiveness Training for So-Called Unattractive Women”


January 18, 2019

Let me tell you unattractive women

and the rest of you unattractive women that pretend

like you DON’T think you are Unattractive. 
It’s not about your looks you know..
That’s not why you are mistreated and disregarded by men. 


This has more to do with your “agreeableness” and proclivity to “comply” as a WOMAN and in particular as an unattractive woman..

If you were born with a face that’s only your mother thinks is beautiful

If you were born with a face that’s only

your mother thinks is beautiful or that people

assume easy advantage over, then you have to put aside your virtue

and that “turn the other cheek” mentality to unearth your “INNER BITCH”. 

Yes, I said inner bitch! That part of you that

you’ve repressed in hopes that people look pass your

face to find something likeable about you.

Agreeableness is not an effective strategy for getting people to like you, ESPECIALLY when you are dealing with men!

You can’t distract men from your face!!

You can’t distract men from your face by “acting” kind and sweet: you have to DEFEND yourself as an unattractive woman!!

And this mean that you allow your spine to grow, that you show people that you are unafraid and unbothered by what they think,

and you are not EASY to befriend or have sex with!!

See a lot you cowering in a corner.

You never have anything of substance to share,

you never tell a joke, or say you are proud of yourself.

You never voice a thought or string opinion about anything…

Cause you’re trying to stay invisible so sees you as a target to ridicule.


GET UP! And show the world who you are, what YOU feel about things, share your intellect, your ability to create and medicine woman ways.

Stop trying to be liked when people are offended by your looks.

You have to walk another route so that your life becomes a fantastic ride!
TAKE THE BLACK PILL

Artist/Life Coach/Medicine Woman: Salkis Re

If you need help with self improvement and/or relationships challenges, please contact me via email at salkis @iloveherart.com


Single Mothers Be AWARE!

you cannot afford to believe in any fairytales, or allow your positive thinking to make decision on your behalf when the majority of men you reveal your “situation” to will have pseudo psycho analyzed you as a woman with little to NO OPTIONS…

“The Pressure to Look Sexy!

“The Pressure to Look Sexy”
Written by Salkis Re

Listen, I’ve been accused of being undercover feminist lesbian when I get into my cautionary rants;

the resistance usually comes from men who feel in threatening a reduction in their prospects/prey or women

who believe they are more attractive than I am which makes my message inapplicable to them…

The reoccurring theme here, the message within all of my writings is that you see the truth of how your emotions become weaponized and used against you.
The pressure to “look valuable” is real.

Blog post for SalkisRe.com

This is why we wear the form fitting clothes, plaster makeup on our faces, post selfies, wear weaves and high heels that some of can’t even walk in..
Somebody told you that you had to do this in order to be relevant and “considered”.

And MOST of us are looking like desperate fools in clown makeup and

clothing with spandex material in that that makes you assume you’ve bought the right size.

Shaming here?
No. Waking here!
Wake up to the fact that you are in a game that’s set up for you to lose,

because when you lose (of feel lost) you turn into a consumer/believer/minion

for those that make sales to help cure your low self esteem.

African Art by Salkis RE
African art by Salkis Re

What’s the truth here though?
The truth is that we are different, but different doesn’t necessarily mean better or worse; it simply means that I cannot be you and you cannot be me…

I’m interested in sisterhood.

 

I’m interested in sisterhood . Though I cried it down as an impossible task -because women are emotional conn artists- I am renewing my vision for this because it is needed.

We are sick, depressed, suicidal, impoverished in every way because we sit around telling lies to each other, initiating new recruits into old sorrows,making it seem like even the mistakes you made in your life was “all planned out before your birth”.

Where are the healers?
Where are the watchers?

 

 

Where are the CRONES to help and guide young women?
Are you sitting around to busy plucking your hormonal chin hair to care about the ones coming after you?

Looking good is a blessing and a curse for those of us who can transform to an acceptable level;

you WILL be picked, used, trophied, and discarded more than those if us who have minimal options.


African Art by Salkis RE
African Art by Salkis Re

You Can’t Quite Level Up

And the ones of who can’t quite “level up” feel that we live without luck or grace because the prospects are low,

so we go to extremes, often corrupting our health while making fool-hearty investments in so-called improvements,

and the only return you get on your alterations is laughed and more Usury than your previous looks allowed for..

So both spectrums meet pain and degradation, and the reason we do is because we do not help each other.

We rate,

categorize,

exclude,

and diminish each other’s value by forming social cliques where women

that aren’t a threat to each other just pass around lies and swap war stories…
And so it goes..
But I’m looking for my lost sheep just like Jesus did..

I’m here to help with the bitter BLACK PILL…
Carry On..

Black Women with Thick Locs
“Medicine Woman”
“Artist”
“Writer”
“Mentor”
“EMPATH”

If you need private mentoring in all matters of womanhood including health ad wellness, weightless, self esteem, life purpose, relationship advice, please reach out ay:

Salkis@iloveherart.com

Dating Outside Your Race Black Women?

I could join you picket line…but I won’t because part of the blame, well most of it was my doing,
for I chose to give men who I knew were not interest in me a chance.
I knew that the guys I LIKED didn’t really like me,
but I hadn’t any concrete “evidence” to substantiate my suspicions, yet and still, the situations
that by the grace of God revealed the truth, I dismissed the truth anyway.
I didn’t want to admit the truth because that would mean that in my mind,
I was acknowledging that I wasn’t good enough.
 
Watercolor Portrait Painting
“I’m a Girl!” Original Art by Salkis Re
And what’s the best way to relieve the mind of anxiety and depression: distraction!
Men pretended with me and I pretended right along with them, hoping that “proving value” by “selling myself” to an
*unmotivated buyer to begin with would somehow turn things around for me…
This what you do too.
You pretend.
You pretend you don’t see what you see.
You even pretend to be confused, but you know.
You ALWAYS know, the problem is that you do not trust in what you know because you
cannot differentiate your true self from the pretense you’ve created to get along with others.
 
Most of the time it was just a “feeling” though. In the mist of a conversation,
his mind does not seem fully engaged, and if a woman walked by that he liked,
he took the liberty to take a long and quite substantial look,
not feeling instinctively compelled to respectfully conceal his arousal from you.
 
There were other times when dates would be cancelled at the last minute
but then he’d show up at midnight to my door claiming to “miss me”,
I knew that he lied but I let him in because I wanted to feel wanted: truth be damned!
Then there were those times when holidays came around and gifts didn’t come neither the presence of his body,
probably because he was too busy stocking stuffing at “homes” of women who’s company he valued more.
And it was no buggy in my mind because
I bought my daughter all the gifts on her list which allowed me to a distraction from my feelings of inadequacy from being unwanted…
abstract portrait painting
“Powder” Original Abstract Portrait by Salkis RE
So now here you are, running from your acute ability to make poor decisions
by seeking refuge in the arms of men who do not share your genetic makeup.
You are fascinated with the “novelty” of it all. You get to even be “blacker” with him than you are
with your own brothers as you show and tell stories about what means to be a black woman in America.
And all well until you notice that he likes you a bit too much,
almost like you are trinket or an object of a fetish he has for black fresh.
And here you were thinking he is crazy about you…
Yeah he is krazy* about you…
You dismiss it though, still on somewhat of a high that a
man from another race considers you as beautiful.
 
But the truth is that you are that same woman who made agreements with men whom,
you knew were not to be trusted, not to be fucced, not to be husband or a father to your children.
Moving to another race doesn’t remove how your process and filter out your world and more importantly what you think of yourself.
You cannot run from you.
The respect and love that you desire comes when you become intimate with YOU.
It will come from black men when you have a love for your wellbeing that cannot be bought or bargained with.
Carry On…
Black Women with Thick Locs
“Spiritual Advisor”
“Artist”
“Author”
“Poet”
~Salkis Re
If you need my book good click HERE
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