“Assertiveness Training for So-Called Unattractive Women”


January 18, 2019

Let me tell you unattractive women

and the rest of you unattractive women that pretend

like you DON’T think you are Unattractive. 
It’s not about your looks you know..
That’s not why you are mistreated and disregarded by men. 


This has more to do with your “agreeableness” and proclivity to “comply” as a WOMAN and in particular as an unattractive woman..

If you were born with a face that’s only your mother thinks is beautiful

If you were born with a face that’s only

your mother thinks is beautiful or that people

assume easy advantage over, then you have to put aside your virtue

and that “turn the other cheek” mentality to unearth your “INNER BITCH”. 

Yes, I said inner bitch! That part of you that

you’ve repressed in hopes that people look pass your

face to find something likeable about you.

Agreeableness is not an effective strategy for getting people to like you, ESPECIALLY when you are dealing with men!

You can’t distract men from your face!!

You can’t distract men from your face by “acting” kind and sweet: you have to DEFEND yourself as an unattractive woman!!

And this mean that you allow your spine to grow, that you show people that you are unafraid and unbothered by what they think,

and you are not EASY to befriend or have sex with!!

See a lot you cowering in a corner.

You never have anything of substance to share,

you never tell a joke, or say you are proud of yourself.

You never voice a thought or string opinion about anything…

Cause you’re trying to stay invisible so sees you as a target to ridicule.


GET UP! And show the world who you are, what YOU feel about things, share your intellect, your ability to create and medicine woman ways.

Stop trying to be liked when people are offended by your looks.

You have to walk another route so that your life becomes a fantastic ride!
TAKE THE BLACK PILL

Artist/Life Coach/Medicine Woman: Salkis Re

If you need help with self improvement and/or relationships challenges, please contact me via email at salkis @iloveherart.com


To Know You Is To Control you!

“I Wanna Know You” Written by Salkis Re 

I want to know

if YOU MEAN what you say,

if YOU ACT like you say,

if YOU DO what you say…

This is the goal of anyone who wants to get to know you.

And they will find out, just as YOU WILL for them,

that they don’t entirely mean what they say or do what they say.

We call it being cordial or having manners, or establishing rapport.

The goal in any courtship, in any “I want to get to know you”

session is to simply to establish that you are EQUALLY YOKED

The, (I’m just like you, and that’s why you should like me) thing.

It’s all a feast of selling yourself until one of you is no longer

afraid of how you are perceived by the other.

When he is no longer afraid of LOSING you, then he

will start to show you who he really is…

Carry On

Your Life Coach” ~Salkis Re

Art by Salkis Re

5 Emotional Issues that Happen When Fall in Love

Learn why you feel so got darn awful when you fall in love with a man and how to not become a desperate lunatic who’s crazy about a guy..

“The Pressure to Look Sexy!

“The Pressure to Look Sexy”
Written by Salkis Re

Listen, I’ve been accused of being undercover feminist lesbian when I get into my cautionary rants;

the resistance usually comes from men who feel in threatening a reduction in their prospects/prey or women

who believe they are more attractive than I am which makes my message inapplicable to them…

The reoccurring theme here, the message within all of my writings is that you see the truth of how your emotions become weaponized and used against you.
The pressure to “look valuable” is real.

Blog post for SalkisRe.com

This is why we wear the form fitting clothes, plaster makeup on our faces, post selfies, wear weaves and high heels that some of can’t even walk in..
Somebody told you that you had to do this in order to be relevant and “considered”.

And MOST of us are looking like desperate fools in clown makeup and

clothing with spandex material in that that makes you assume you’ve bought the right size.

Shaming here?
No. Waking here!
Wake up to the fact that you are in a game that’s set up for you to lose,

because when you lose (of feel lost) you turn into a consumer/believer/minion

for those that make sales to help cure your low self esteem.

African Art by Salkis RE
African art by Salkis Re

What’s the truth here though?
The truth is that we are different, but different doesn’t necessarily mean better or worse; it simply means that I cannot be you and you cannot be me…

I’m interested in sisterhood.

 

I’m interested in sisterhood . Though I cried it down as an impossible task -because women are emotional conn artists- I am renewing my vision for this because it is needed.

We are sick, depressed, suicidal, impoverished in every way because we sit around telling lies to each other, initiating new recruits into old sorrows,making it seem like even the mistakes you made in your life was “all planned out before your birth”.

Where are the healers?
Where are the watchers?

 

 

Where are the CRONES to help and guide young women?
Are you sitting around to busy plucking your hormonal chin hair to care about the ones coming after you?

Looking good is a blessing and a curse for those of us who can transform to an acceptable level;

you WILL be picked, used, trophied, and discarded more than those if us who have minimal options.


African Art by Salkis RE
African Art by Salkis Re

You Can’t Quite Level Up

And the ones of who can’t quite “level up” feel that we live without luck or grace because the prospects are low,

so we go to extremes, often corrupting our health while making fool-hearty investments in so-called improvements,

and the only return you get on your alterations is laughed and more Usury than your previous looks allowed for..

So both spectrums meet pain and degradation, and the reason we do is because we do not help each other.

We rate,

categorize,

exclude,

and diminish each other’s value by forming social cliques where women

that aren’t a threat to each other just pass around lies and swap war stories…
And so it goes..
But I’m looking for my lost sheep just like Jesus did..

I’m here to help with the bitter BLACK PILL…
Carry On..

Black Women with Thick Locs
“Medicine Woman”
“Artist”
“Writer”
“Mentor”
“EMPATH”

If you need private mentoring in all matters of womanhood including health ad wellness, weightless, self esteem, life purpose, relationship advice, please reach out ay:

Salkis@iloveherart.com

Dating Outside Your Race Black Women?

I could join you picket line…but I won’t because part of the blame, well most of it was my doing,
for I chose to give men who I knew were not interest in me a chance.
I knew that the guys I LIKED didn’t really like me,
but I hadn’t any concrete “evidence” to substantiate my suspicions, yet and still, the situations
that by the grace of God revealed the truth, I dismissed the truth anyway.
I didn’t want to admit the truth because that would mean that in my mind,
I was acknowledging that I wasn’t good enough.
 
Watercolor Portrait Painting
“I’m a Girl!” Original Art by Salkis Re
And what’s the best way to relieve the mind of anxiety and depression: distraction!
Men pretended with me and I pretended right along with them, hoping that “proving value” by “selling myself” to an
*unmotivated buyer to begin with would somehow turn things around for me…
This what you do too.
You pretend.
You pretend you don’t see what you see.
You even pretend to be confused, but you know.
You ALWAYS know, the problem is that you do not trust in what you know because you
cannot differentiate your true self from the pretense you’ve created to get along with others.
 
Most of the time it was just a “feeling” though. In the mist of a conversation,
his mind does not seem fully engaged, and if a woman walked by that he liked,
he took the liberty to take a long and quite substantial look,
not feeling instinctively compelled to respectfully conceal his arousal from you.
 
There were other times when dates would be cancelled at the last minute
but then he’d show up at midnight to my door claiming to “miss me”,
I knew that he lied but I let him in because I wanted to feel wanted: truth be damned!
Then there were those times when holidays came around and gifts didn’t come neither the presence of his body,
probably because he was too busy stocking stuffing at “homes” of women who’s company he valued more.
And it was no buggy in my mind because
I bought my daughter all the gifts on her list which allowed me to a distraction from my feelings of inadequacy from being unwanted…
abstract portrait painting
“Powder” Original Abstract Portrait by Salkis RE
So now here you are, running from your acute ability to make poor decisions
by seeking refuge in the arms of men who do not share your genetic makeup.
You are fascinated with the “novelty” of it all. You get to even be “blacker” with him than you are
with your own brothers as you show and tell stories about what means to be a black woman in America.
And all well until you notice that he likes you a bit too much,
almost like you are trinket or an object of a fetish he has for black fresh.
And here you were thinking he is crazy about you…
Yeah he is krazy* about you…
You dismiss it though, still on somewhat of a high that a
man from another race considers you as beautiful.
 
But the truth is that you are that same woman who made agreements with men whom,
you knew were not to be trusted, not to be fucced, not to be husband or a father to your children.
Moving to another race doesn’t remove how your process and filter out your world and more importantly what you think of yourself.
You cannot run from you.
The respect and love that you desire comes when you become intimate with YOU.
It will come from black men when you have a love for your wellbeing that cannot be bought or bargained with.
Carry On…
Black Women with Thick Locs
“Spiritual Advisor”
“Artist”
“Author”
“Poet”
~Salkis Re
If you need my book good click HERE
If you Want me to mentor you, click HERE

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Blow Out Sale!!Black Art Sale!

“Realistic Thinking or Positive Thinking”

Written by Salkis Re

It’s more beneficial to think realistically than it is to think positively.

But to think realistically can offer up as much delusions as bright-side thinking too.
Positive thinking feels good, but it does not contain a *sense of urgency and the FIRE of discomfort that is the 👉blood supply of transformation.

And realistic thinking at times makes it difficult for you to perceive the potential you posses to be more than what you are at this moment.

I see so many of you who are professional complainers, you cry yourselves down obsessing over the “flaws” of their bodies.

African portrait Art
“Just Like Me” Original Art by Salkis Re for iLoveherArt.com

And those flaws might very well be “real”, but the potential to be better through diet and exercise,

going out and touching your feet to earth, prayer or mediation all are tactics to improve but are negated to wallow in pity.

All practical things to change your reality are thwarted and exchanged for excuses which give you a painless “OUT”.

This is really what positive thinking amounts to for many women: a stall!

Do diligence is needed here.
Do not think that things are worse than what they are(realistic) and do not think things are just fine(positive)
Accept what you SEE as real and then start the active task of self improving.

In others words: just be honest with yourself and stop making up delusions of grandeur or defeat!!

Carry On…

 

Black Women with Thick Locs
“Spiritual Advisor”
“Medicine Woman”
“Mentor”

“Artist”
~Salkis Re

If you need some mentoring in all matters of womanhood including health, weightless, relationships, life purpose, please contact me by email to talk about working together;

Reach me at salkis@iloveherart.com

Alone and Afraid?

Being yourself is going to hurt people.

Its going to dispassion people against you.

Why?

Because they will not be able to control you,

to manipulate you to do things that are not in line with your safety or life goals.

The only reason you have friends or lovers is because they like the way you make them feel.

But once you step away from he act of pleasing and choose to be passionate and purposeful

about the act of self fulfillment, people are going to take issue with you.

Watercolor Portrait Painting
“I AM a GIRL!” Original Watercolor Portrait Art by Salkis Re

They will stop calling you, stop inviting you, stop fucking you, stop buying gifts for you and so on…

And then the harsh reality of your aloneness will start to take form.

Do you know when the revelation of aloneness usually hits?

When you start to get old..

And you realize that all your sacrificing didn’t afford you their loyalty or undying concern.

then you become old and bitter because you have to face that you wasted so much time TRYING.

Trying to get LOVE.

Trying to get RESPECT.

 

What matters is your time and how much of ti you spend on frivolity or purpose.

And your purpose will need most of your energy because

you will have to fight the status quo of mediocrity and the fear that others try to infect you with…

You are your OWN GOD/ESS because your ACTIONS determine your road and your destination…

Be a god today…..

Carry On…

 

I am an Empath,

a Spiritual Advisor,

An Artist,

And a Mentor

Here to Help Your Path Back to Selfhood

black artists

If you are interested in gaining clarity of mind spiritual strength, please Click the link here for my books and coaching 

 

God’s Child

“God’s Child”
Written by Salkis Re

Perfection is something none of us possess but we all criticize others for not being…

And the more critical you are of others,

the more it exposes of the secret hell you live in as you surround yourself with persistent, private condemnation.

When you release your desires for perfectionism, you can AND will enjoy your life a whole lot more…

Colorism in the Black Community
“Blacky” Art by Salkis Re

You will give yourself permission to make mistakes, to take chances, to explore the unknown.
You will become intriguing and exciting to be around.

You will give every inhale and exhale of your lungs a purpose outside of causing others pain…

And then your soul will begin to create your mission, a reason for living,

and a good reason for living is what your life will become when you inspire others,

when you uplift the weak, when you encourage the fearful instead

of the being the one fueling discouragement in others…..

This is what God’s children do…
Who’s child are you?

“Life Coach”
~Salkis Re
Art by Salkis Re
Painting: “Blacky”

Please click the picture if you’d like to ave collector piece of this painting…

Work Without Pain

racist cartoons and postcards
“Blacky” Art by Salkis RE

Smiling..

SO you ladies know about my You Tube channel; I hope…..

And it’s so interesting to me when the guys muster up enough interest to comment on the content of my videos.

And what’s even more interesting is the context of their statements are always the same.

“Some dude must have really hurt you”, Or “You are just unattractive, their isn’t an issue with black women” Or “I like Your Mouth” etc..

 

The comments are always slight jabs or deliberate stabs at MY looks or MY temperament and not much is ever mentioned about the content itself.

 

This is why I advise ladies to be aware of “presentation”.

Though I will admit that I’m not a real life example of “perfect” presentation, I understand its power.

I understand that most of the time, its all the power you need really.

its never what you its: HOW you say it.

Its never about what you do: Its HOW you do it….

What’s the difference between a Sex Surrogate and a Prostitute?

The Answer: And OFFICE 

 

People generally are interested in the surface stuff. Ok, let me stop talking in third person and talk to YOU right now..

YOU are concerned with surface stuff, with how you APPEAR to other people. You want people to think you are HAPPY, SUCCESSFUL, LOVED, INTELLIGENT, SEXY etc..

But how do you TRULY feel? NO as good as the pretense you give off?

abstract portrait painting
“Powder” Original Abstract Portrait by Salkis RE

I understand.. Believe me I do…

And the tragedy of that is that YOU spend so much time in that space,

the pretending part of your life,

that you put off all the elements that could actually assist you in truly feeling self worth and self esteem.

YOU have come to learn that the SHOW is all that matters because the show is all anyone sees…

WRONG!!!

What you feel about yourself manifests in ALLLLLLLLL your decisions.

Everything  you decide to do, that you decide is right, that you think is wrong is shaped around YOUR PERCEPTION OF YOUR VALUE!!

SO guess what?!

People see the real you by way of your ACTIONS 

You don’t get to hide low self esteem as well as you think you are doing…

It shows through, and these men quickly find out how fraudulent you are WHEN HE GETS TO NOW YOU

And eventually you expose your weaknesses as you sit there perplexed as to why he doesn’t show up in your life anymore like he used too..

You showed your hand, your TRUE hand, and it was an insecure hand, a hand full of nothingness,

and the conclusion was that you really aren’t worth the effort or the sacrifice…

 

All MAN/Woman has the power to do is MAKE YOU AN OFFER, that is where their power begins and ends…

YOU get to decide if that offer is sufficient and if you will take it.

You get to negotiate the rules of engagement.

And your rules are your expectations

and your expectations are your boundaries,

and your boundaries are your protection..

ANYTHING OFFERED THAT IS NOT IN LINE WITH WHAT YOU WANT IS AN OFFENSE..

Remember That!

 

Who Am I ?

dark skin women
Life Coach~Salkis Re

Salkis Re is a world Renown Artist and Life Coach

who uses offers therapy through art imagery which serves as the soothing

part to her tough love coaching style to help women heal from pain and trauma..

Want more? Click Here