It was an uncle here, a stepfather there, an older cousin here,
I remember when I was it the 4th grade, I got dragged behind a tree by this boy that I actually had a crush on.
I started crying. Then he laughed, backed off, and ran away…
I stood there picking bits of tree trunk off my face, shaken, feeling ashamed and really confused like what the fuck just happened here!
But he laughing so I wasn’t sure if what he’d just done was even wrong.
So I thought that maybe I was perceiving it wrong…
Isn’t that what we always do?
Second guess ourselves and our feelings because HE won’t own up to his actions…
No penetration physically happened, but a disruption of my self worth and confidence sure did!
Because I secretly LIKED that boy.
Which means I looked up to him.
And because I liked him and he didn’t like me:
it meant that HE was BETTER than me…..
This is the typical pattern that starts after you’ve been physically violated.
And every relationship you seek, only aids in solidifying your false sense of low worth…
Wives aren’t exempt from this either, in fact, a lot of them are simply “under contract” to be abused because you have taken the “I’m powerless’ position..
So he gets to tell you he doesn’t like your body while he’s fucking you because he pays the mortgage. He gets to tell you that he thinks you are stupid while he rides your back to relieve his stress. He gets to blame you for his dik not being able to hold an erection, but as the “good wife” you swallow and wallow quietly in degradation because that ring says you have NO voice.
But you can repair your heart and mind..
So The Maxims For Today Are:
Do NOT second guess YOURSELF anymore…
What you SEE IS what you GET…
There is NO BENEFIT IN A DOUBT,
So DON’T give the BENEFIT OF A DOUBT.
DISMISS ANY talk that calls to question your perception of reality…
And remember, you CANNOT have SELF CONFIDENCE when you Do Not trust YOUR feelings…