Someone “made” you feel ugly? Some “made” you feel insecure? Someone “made” your worthless? All he did was express how he felt about you.. He gave you his perspective and packaged it with a sales pitch.
He habitually stated that pitch until your resistance withered away.
Why didn’t you defend yourself?
Why didn’t YOU walk away?
You Want the TRUTH?
Because he never told you a “lie”!!
He told you everything you ALREADY believed about yourself!
And though his words hurt to hear, it made you feel comfortable and
even “Closer” to him because you shared the same feelings about yourself…
Don’t blame him for holding up the mirror.
The question to ask is:
How do you feel about you?
If you Answer that honestly, your healing can begin…
So what do we want to do here exactly.
What you want to do is start clearing up misconceptions and opinions and “Truths”
that do not support the narrative you WANT to believe in!
I have said it before, and I will say it yet again.
Everything you think that you are is “Make Believe”,
it starts off as a feeling,
then from that feeling inspires an action
then from the action, you create a habit.
Then before long,
you’ve done or thought whatever it is for so long that it moves as a truth in your life,
dictating and altering your perception of your reality..
We want to rewire our brains.
This is how you heal from ANYTHING. I don’t care what it is.
The depression, the disease, the lack ALL stem from your beliefs.
And your beliefs are NOTHING BUT DECISIONS MADE OVER AND OVER AGAIN..
You can start to change by become “AWARE” of everything you feel.
“Becoming aware means that you start catching yourself in the mist of doing something habitual.
That negative self talk, or going for that piece of cake you don’t need,
you see what you are doing and from there you will want to start to questioning your behavior.
Why am I saying this about myself?
Why am I grabbing the chocolate cake when I know it makes me feel unstable?
What is it that I am looking to feel?
Am I trying to relieve my anxiety?
Am I trying to distract myself from pain?
What you want to start doing in begin to FEEL everything so
that you have to opportunity to question everything that you feel.
To pose a question breaks the script!
It breaks your confidence in your “Truth”.
It requires you to THINK!
THINKING is what will strengthen you!
Because thinking requires that you find TRUE answers…
THINKING brings the gift of resolution.
THINKING means that you get to change the narrative
when you figured out that what you believe is bull s%Jt!
Why Should You Heed My Advice?
Because I’m CRAZY, a nonconformist,
AND an introvert who had to bind her insecurities
and throw that bitch in the closet so
I could pound the pavement and be found by good women like you!
How you “show up” in this world is how you will allow people to treat you.
I tell many of my sisters that displaying self pity is not way to win friends
or foster good relationships but you are so used to expressing your self deprecation,
that you have lost awareness that you are even doing it.
You sound more like a defeatist, than a woman who is ready for love.
You write these exhaustive dissertations about what you are looking
for in a man as if making known what you are wanting will
thwart off any snakes from coming to bite you.
The problem is NOT in the way you look!
The problem is that you are hollow and you lack substance because
you want to be sexy and desired instead of healthy, competent and virtuous.
The very things that will set you apart from other women, are the very
things you disregard as having no intrinsic value.
There are things you are here to do, and being a sex object is NOT one of them…
You Are You?
“Self Love Coach”
Would you like to become a happy woman, free from the chains that vanity and the need for validation creates?
Send me an email to join “The Ugly Girls Club”
Tools you can use TO NEVER BE AFRAID of anyone ever again!
Write to info@salkisre.Com
about anything but complaining that nobody wants you.
You as an “Ugly Girl” have resolved to a life of mediocrity and self pity,
and you’ve killed your dreams simply because you don’t look a certain way.
The Ugly Girls Club is a coalition of women who are
not cowering down because society has placed our looks in a negative category.
We are defining ourselves by how we look.
That game is a losing game for most women, and we have accepted it as such.
SO now that we’ve let that nightmare go, we’ve got all this room to learn
and grow and express how we feel about our lives and the things
we want to do or become to live our fullest lives.
Now as for these dating sites like OkCUPID, Plenty of Fish, E Harmony etc.. I want you to treat these sites like just another form of social media, because is what they are.
Don’t go thinking that you’ll win cool points for putting all your business on the street, for being transparent and term I think I hate most of all “OPEN MINDED”
You can’t vet a person effectively through a dating app or a profile.
And what you should do is just keep it light enough to spark interest and curiosity.
Yes you are going to get crazy nut jobs coming to you to solicit you for fun, and your success rate is shit on these sites.
You should assume that you’ll need to go thru 30 -50 contacts to get one that is decent enough to give a shot.
And Im going to add this as well, leave the booty pics, the cleavage pics and lease for God sake, close your mouth if you are not smiling.
You don’t want to send messages to these perverts that they can ask you for Netflix and Chill! OK!
Now back to the point of it all…..
The Ugly Girl SHOWS THE WORLD WHAT SHE CAN DO!
And her goal is not too be anybody’s reject version of a Video Vixen.
She is not waiting for men to have mercy on her and that her as a charity case.
She walks with her head up and DOES EVERYTHING to nature her body,
mind and soul.. GET UP UGLY GIRL!!
“The Ugly Girls Club” Coming Soon! Would you like to join this coalition so you can learn
how to transform yourself and develop real self love? Write to info@salkisRe .com
It is time to step your game up!
NOT FOR MEN!! For yourself… If I could shake the degradation out of you, I would gladly do it. But this is something you have to feel inside of you. You have to be tired of being lied to, tired of being led to create frivolous personas based on pageantry and not any real substance.
Men are craving this actually. To be turned on in an untypical way.
Everything about you should be UNTYPICAL if you are an ugly girl!
Soft porn is everywhere, whispering to women subconsciously
about how we should look and feel about ourselves and
women with their knees wide open, looking ready to insert things into their mouths,
appearing to not have a care in the world because lustful men
are sprawled helplessly around her,
That’s what you think you have to have..
You are being programed to feel insecure.
You are being programmed emotionally
to want what the manufacturer sells.
You will be wanted if you buy this.
You will be respected if you buy that.
You will get married if you buy 10 of these etc etc..
And you think your desires are “natural”
when everything you think about yourself,
every emotion you express is a manufactured one.
They target your Limbic Brain, that part of your brain
They target your Limbic Brain, that part of your brain that’s
responsible for memory and emotions and reward seeking.
EVERYTHING you do which includes what you eat, who you have sex with,
how you have sex, what you wear, your job, how many children you have,
your likes and dislikes are shaped by our fear a LOSS or the gain of a REWARD.
You think you will be rewarded if you have sex with men. You think you won’t experience loss if you look pretty. You think you will be rewarded if you comply. You think you won’t lose friends if you think the same..
And down the rabbit hole you go, deeper and deeper into the abyss of illusion…
Wake Up “Mummy”
Why should you listen to me?
Because I’m CRAZY, a nonconfirmist, AND an introvert who had to bind her insecurities and throw that bitch in the closet so I could pound the pavement and be found by good women like you!
Hey There UGLY GIRL!” Transit time 6:19 a.m. Feb.8.2019
Pull of a chair, let me have a chat with you for a moment! You wanna know what funny Ugly Girl?
Now that I’m focusing all of my energy on YOU,
women who are NOT Ugly, who are actually attractive, pretty,
beautiful, are coming to me asking to be apart of this coalition. They are saying that “ugly” isn’t ONLY about looks Salkis,
it’s about how you FEEL inside. Attractive women are now admitting
to feeling low self esteem, to being manipulated and used just like US.
But to qualify, they are coming with vague terms like “I have an “ugly SOUL”: can I join?” Or ” I have an “ugly VIBE”: can I join?” Or “I have an “ugly HEART”, can I join?“ Or “I have an “ugly ATTITUDE”, can I join?“ And when I ask what they mean by it,
their answers reveal what they PRETEND they don’t experience!!
So now I’m stepping back to see what I can use as a teaching lesson for you UGLY GIRL. I told you Ugly Girls, you dark skin women in particular,
that there was no such thing as “light skin privilege” and that this term used
to describe feeling rather than a FACT because it created to create division and
an emotional assumption that a certain types of women are:
immune to being abused,
low self esteem,
poor mental and physical health,
being a baby mama,
being financially unstable etc..
I told you that any black woman that tells you that
she enjoys light skin privilege is LYING TO YOU, and you got angry with me and pointed fingers at me while
accusing me of being “soft” on the issue and delusional at best..
NO PRIVILEGE that they enjoy outside of the “privilege”
of being offered more opportunities to be sexually exploited.
And I’m thinking to myself, how do you women do not see the “game” here?
But how could you when you’ve been boxed into an emotional lens your entire life.
So I’ve been hammering at the point of arresting the worry
and self doubt you may harbor over how you look.
I have had to battle with my self esteem for most of my life.
I did things to try to fit on, to try to e liked, try to be LOVED..
And there was nothing that is DID that actually helped me experience self love.
Nothing aesthetically I mean…
I had to find a way to compensate for my visual shortcomings.
So at some point I had to find a way to compensate for my visual shortcomings.
I became a hair stylist and worked hard until I had my own salon,
I made women beautiful for a living.
And I wanted to make women beautiful for a living because I thought
that if I surrounded myself with beautiful women,
then somehow their beauty would rub off on me..
Nothing rubbed off. Not one damn smear!
But what happened was that I began to be an ear for the stories of my clients. I began to me the counselor and the beauty consultant and the priest and the mother a lot of these women needed.
It opened my eyes to things, to notions I had about certain “types’ of women.
I came to a conclusion that none of us have it necessarily ‘better” than others of us.
Same pain different face.
Same worry, pretty face.
Same rejection, nice body..
What an eye opener is was when I started becoming more interested in their stories than putting conditioner in their hair..
I was hooked!
I had another calling I didn’t realize was inside of my heart.
Something that had nothing to do with superficial pretty and more to
do with healing the heart and stabilizing the emotions and the ramblings of the mind.
Maybe you need someone to talk too..
Maybe you haven’t had the best relationship with your mother and you desperately need some wisdom and help in making decisions in your life..
This is why I paint, why I write, why I consult and console women..
I need your attention.
I need for you to understand the messages I convey.
because I truly believe, with all my heart,
that what I give in the way of advice and creativity can
change your perspective of your value, your purpose, your desires..
“Tune In” Written by Salkis Re Nobody has a problem rating others until it is time to rate themselves. Beauty then becomes speculative
as they disregard
what their own mirror tells.
All of a sudden
when the tables turn on you
you want kindness and understanding,
but asked to rate anybody else
you don’t see your words as reprimanding.
So I choose not to play
with your head games
and just walk a path of my own.
And Never again
will I look to others
to confirm what I’ve always known.
This road will be a lonely one
as I abandon all those fake friends,
and all these family members
who make assume I could
be vulnerable with them.
I will put flowers in my hair
and let sun’s rays be my biggest fan.
And finally sit down
surrounded by nature
no longer needing
them to love me as I am.
Mistress of Words
Art by Salkis Re
Painting: “Tune In”