Written by Salkis Re
Self esteem challenges can happen in people who are attractive,
in people with higher IQs, in people with money, in people who are religious etc.
You’d be surprised at the type of people who really emotionally fragile out here.
Don’t let appearances fool you…
I remember a “Guy Friday” I had working for me at my salon back in the day.
He was dark skin an older man, but you could tell he was extremely handsome
in his youth because he still had six pack abs and pretty white teeth.
He come in a few times a week and clean my shop for a six pack of beer,
pork rinds and on Fridays, I threw in a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken just to see his face light up.
He didn’t want much, he didn’t need much really because of his lifestyle.
But he wasn’t ashamed of his standard of living.
He was quick-witted, wisdom filled, and his sense of humor would shortened any difficult day I’d have.
I remember him inviting me to his home that he’d often call his “Palace”.
He was so proud that he had this home and he often told stories of his lovers tryna lay claim to it by leaving panties and toothbrushes behind..lol
So I went to see the palace, and it turned out to be an old, tiny,
Southern Georgia shack! He had a dirty couch on the patio with a rickety table next to it to prop his beer.
He called it his “seating area” lllllmao.
I asked, “You entertain your hoes here Millified?”
“Yes Boss Lady, haha ha ha”, he said with his raspy voice.
He opened the door and invited me inside. The floor boards screeched and some of them lifted when we took a step.
I was scared I was going to fall through the floor, so he took my hand and we zig-zagged through the living.
He chuckled looking at my “wtf” face. But he still wasn’t fazed by my frowning giggles.
The floor of the entire house was on an incline, you could have slid right into the kitchen if the floor was wet.
The walls were painted with dirt. A few water bugs came out to see who was in the house too.
He had plastic lawn cheers in front of a 52 inch TV. That TV was the focal piece of the house and would be the reason all the ladies didn’t want to leave his chateau, hahaha!
He said he had cable and he’d make some squash casserole and fried chicken if I ever wanted to come hang out on Sunday after church.
We went to his bedroom and he had a queen size mattress on the floor that looked like he pulled it out a land fill,
and the bedroom closet was almost as small as a medicine cabinet.
His bathroom couldn’t hold two people at the same time; you could literally shit, shower and shave all in one cause it was so damn tiny!
He said he was ready to whip up a batch of red Kool Aid if I was thirsty and motioned him not to bother.
When the tour was done, I looked at him in disbelief.
I wanted him to see how disgusted I was,
but he continued to look at me and laugh.
He was unfazed by my distain, and I showed my distain because I knew he didn’t give a shit what I thought.
He was proud of himself. He was proud of who he was. He had “pretty teeth” so to him he was a “pretty boy”..lllllmao
He was one of the few people I’ve met that was just unbothered by people’s opinions,
he stated what he was and that was all his heart and mind had room for.
The rest of us have so much more than him, but we disregard it for the perpetual fear that others may feel we are not good enough.
Your self esteem is built on a weaker foundation than his one room shack!
All while you look good, you work a so-called “good job”.
You can save for vacation and occasionally splurge on nonessential things,
but you still are afraid of what people think of you.
You don’t take a chance, because your thoughts of failure plaque you without rest.
You have their degrees, their licenses and certificates but still feel invalid..
Your Perception of who you are has been “Given” to you.
That is why you are not empowered, and that is why you live so unsure of yourself in spite of all your accolades.
My Guy Friday stayed happy, even with what I classified as an impoverished lifestyle, he had a mentality of wealth.
Maybe that was the reason he remained so attractive and charismatic.
He could have been more I suppose had he taken advantage of the education system, maybe he would be more than hustler.
But that was my opinion of him, and one he didn’t share in…
He wasn’t intimidated by others who had more.
He talked to everybody, and free beer and free meals were the regular thank you gifts he received for his humor and charismatic optimism.
So what will you do?
Continue to live in fear of not being good enough,
not living good enough,
not being attractive enough,
not having enough money to be enough?
When will you arrest those hypothesizing thoughts of imaginary restraints?
When you say fuck it, this is what I am and I’m fabulous as is???
You can do it right now.
You don’t need to kneel before a Queen,
or get a certificate in the mail,
or have an engagement ring on your finger to claim your right to feel fantastic about yourself today!!
Make the shift.
Make the decision..
And be what YOU say you are…
IF YOU NEED TO TALK: CLICK HERE