Achieving Your Goals Is Not Done With Vision Boards!
Authenticity is overrated.
And it will halt all your goals.
And people will shame you for pretending.
And you’ll feel ashamed for pretending.
Then you will go back to what you know.
Then realize -AGAIN- that it doesn’t work.
Then you’ll revisit trying to change.
And you’ll conclude that being unlike the real you is better.
Now all that’s left, is to be that pretender
until you forget that it’s not what you are….
It might feel icky to be a fraud,
but that only because you believe that everyone around is telling
you the truth while being themselves.
You are being humored every DAY.
People are polite, act like they are interested in what you have to say,
some even pretend to be impressed
and attracted to you.
And here you are,
afraid to fail them by adopting a personality to fix your own life,
to get you results that could make you better.
So tell me this, how do you change while staying the same?
How do you grow while staying the same?
How can you get something you’ve never gotten before while having the same mentality?
Why is it so hard for you to consider how you feel FIRST??
I will tell you why.
Because a long time ago, when you were just a little girl, someone you loved and depended on told you it was wrong not to want to share.
These people were giants to you and you looked up to them literally and figuratively. They told you that you have to listen to what you are told regardless of what your desires were. They told you that it was wrong and disrespectful to be or show anger.
So you learned to hide your emotions.
You learned that for people to love you, you could not disagree with them in anyway lest you become a disappointment to them and yourself.
And so, here we are today…
And the same reasonings, the same thinking process you had as a little still prevails.
So what is the truth here?
The truth is that this all proves how “conditional” love actually is.
It also proves that what you thought you had to be was never the TRUTH, for it was merely
Indoctrination to conform you for easier control over your behavior and actions.
You are FREE now baby girl…
You are no longer under the jurisdiction of your parents; furthermore, lovers and husbands that enter your life are there by your grace and the generosity within you to give them the opportunity to be a “part” of your life…
Some of us are wasting away at life.
The Great Pretenders I call them.
You are Afraid to make a mistake, and afraid to get your heart broken again.
So you wallow in denial of what you want
AND deny your responsibility in the results you’ve gotten so far.
Everything you could have been will die with you; that is the life you are living right now…
I refuse to conform.
To cower down into obscurity.
I wasn’t born to live an uneventful life, and neither are you!
I wasn’t born for people to have something to shame and ridicule for my nappy hair and big lips, and neither are you!
I want born for people to tell me I’m not smart enough for what I want to have, and neither are you!
And YOU weren’t born to live in quiet desperation, to play it safe to avoid pain.
Your trauma is your SCHOOL, and you are conditioned to lead because you survived it.
But you sit back and do nothing with all that experience you have.
You prefer to wallow and feel sorry for yourself like you earn money to be upset.
What does it benefit you to live in fear today?
How will your life be better out of your decision not to take a chance?
People need to know that they can do it, and you might be the only example of this,
but you’ve designed life that ensure that they will NEVER meet you.
A disservice is what you create in 360 degree form when you make decisions based on fear.
Its time to GET UP.
But you sit there staring at the wand/your talents scared to use it because you are afraid of the outcome.
You will never be able to control the “outcome” of anything you do.
But you CAN control the PROCESS of getting there. What you toil on, what you practice daily is what you have 100% control over!
FOCUS ON THAT!!!!!!!
And release yourself from he anxiety over the end result.
The end result turn out to be less than you were hoping for,
or BETTER than your wildest dreams,
but doing NOTHING ensures that NOTHING will happen either way.
So I’m gonna tell you to walk through your trials just like Dorothy did.
Walk through it to find what you are made of,
and you will realize just like she did that **THE POWER WAS WITHIN YOU ALL ALONG!**
Who Am I?
A Medicine Woman
AND and **ARTIST on a crusade to create a quiet revolution and **mental freedom** for women of color,
I have dedicated my life mission and purpose to helping your find that sweet spot, that hole that unlocks the key to color your black and white life…
I was afraid just like you.
And sometimes I still am, but I WELCOME THE PROCESS and invite you to do the same.<-
coaching with, friendships and associates have a sexual abuse story from their past: ALL OF THEM!
It was an uncle here, a stepfather there, an older cousin here,
a brother there, a boyfriend over here, and a husband after that, and so on and so on…..
I remember when I was it the 4th grade, I got dragged behind a tree by this boy that I actually had a crush on.
I asked him what he was doing and he slammed me against the tree and started dry humping me.
My face was bruised cause he held my neck against the trunk of the tree so that I couldn’t move..
I started crying.Then he laughed, backed off, and ran away…
I stood there picking bits of tree trunk off my face, shaken, feeling ashamed and really confused like what the fuck just happened here!
But he laughing so I wasn’t sure if what he’d just done was even wrong.
No ‘I’m sorry’ was said, he just laughed when he saw my tears.
So I thought that maybe I was perceiving it wrong…
Isn’t that what we always do?
Second guess ourselves and our feelings because HE won’t own up to his actions…
No penetration physically happened, but a disruption of my self worth and confidence sure did!
Why? Because I secretly LIKED that boy. Which means I looked up to him. And because I liked him and he didn’t like me: it meant that HE was BETTER than me…..
This is the typical pattern that starts after you’ve been physically violated.
You don’t trust yourself anymore, you feel in your heart that the pain inflicted is somehow what you deserved..
And every relationship you seek, only aids in solidifying your false sense of low worth…
Wives aren’t exempt from this either, in fact, a lot of them are simply “under contract” to be abused because you have taken the “I’m powerless’ position..
So he gets to tell you he doesn’t like your body while he’s fucking you because he pays the mortgage. He gets to tell you that he thinks you are stupid while he rides your back to relieve his stress. He gets to blame you for his dik not being able to hold an erection, but as the “good wife” you swallow and wallow quietly in degradation because that ring says you have NO voice.
But you can repair your heart and mind..
Your heart can heal,
your emotions can stabilize when you finally come to realization of what men are,
what they can and CANNOT do for you, and the proper order of importance they fit in..
So The Maxims For Today Are:
Do NOT second guess YOURSELF anymore… What you SEE IS what you GET… There is NO BENEFIT IN A DOUBT, So DON’T give the BENEFIT OF A DOUBT. DISMISS ANY talk that calls to question your perception of reality… And remember, you CANNOT have SELF CONFIDENCE when you Do Not trust YOUR feelings…
Ok so apparently, these MGTOW men are learning terms to shame and devalue women. One in particular is “women over 40 hitting a wall”, and it means that she is “stuck” because her sexual market value is on the decline.
Let me tell you ladies something, you are going to have to burst these men’s bubbles in a “ladylike” manner.
Too many of them feel they have the right to berate your value/looks and take pleasure in doing so.
And you have remained tactful and sensitive to their feelings your entire life just for these fools to call you old and worthless??
I’m sure in your love life, you’ve given ugly men a chance,
I’m almost sure that the majority of men you’ve slept with were NOT better looking than YOU!
I’m sure that many of your sexual encounters were only worth anything because YOU knew how to bring YOURSELF to orgasm.
And you let these second rate, fifth rate mudducks set the stage for you to question your worth???
You’d better thing again!. You better scan them for flaws IMMEDIATELY when a man pursues you. And tell him that he’s too short; or his nose is to big for his face; or that his hands are smaller than yours; or that his mother should have made his slew-footed ass wear corrective shoes as a kid; or ask him how it feels to be able to see his peenus cause his gut is in the way; or that he needs more testosterone for that “struggle beard” to grow; or that his “peenus” is “just average” or below average in size AT BEST.
Long gone are the days for which you could “gingerly imply” dissatisfaction. These men nowadays are be coached by disgruntled, miserable, blue pill popping, lonely ass men to treat women like shyte because we are looking to “level up”. You have get over or should I say “cure yourself” of any idealism you have around romantic relationships and the ACTUAL value that a man can bring to your life.
Do NOT entertain emotional manipulation AT ALL!!!!
And that usually starts with them expressing what they feel about how you look, then he will call you insecure if you reject his sexual advances and cautious nature, and all this is done for you to doubt your VALUE, arrest your MORALS so that you can OPEN you legs to HIM..
These men have to know from day one that you are unbothered, relaxed, USE to *excellent treatment and hard to impress! Whether it’s a lie or not is FORKING irrelevant! You have to show “privilege”, mentally, physically and emotionally. When you are over 40 the dream is OVER: Let the GAMES begin..
What is a hoe? I’m sitting here at my computer desk this morning thinking of something inspiring to write and that question just popped up in my mind.
I am haunted by my hot pursuit of and relentless contemplations around being a woman, a SATISFIED woman.
So I am thinking about my past lovers, why chose them and if I’d do things differently. I admit to you that I made choices in lovers with a cloud of limiting beliefs over my head. I told myself that I can’t have this, Im not entitled to that, all men do this, so I’d better just do that sort of thing.
Always settling. Always“agreeable“.
Why? Because I was more concerned with “purity”, with keeping myself ‘honorable” and unsullied than satisfied and compensated….
My vagina’s “body count” was low; my mind insisted that I had to keep it low because I associated my self worth with ‘how many’ got to plow my wet flower pedals. I was more concerned about that than being sexually satisfied actually.
Awww, the self murder, the useless priorities, the posing…
Episode after episode of sexual “duty” with little to no sense of DUTY cycled back to me.
And with every man I laid with, there was a “filthiness” left behind, not because of the act itself although I have come to conclusion that body fluids that are NOT yours are likened unto a noxious, petre dishes of frothing pus and bloody spores waiting to invade and hatch inside your yoni through his ejaculation.(I want to throw my phone away after rereading that last line)
The *filthy feeling was from being “duped” though. I thought it was the ACT OF SEX itself, but with further examination of my feelings the “humiliation” I felt was from the unkept “promises” from these men.
My stupidity was believing in “dreams” , and Acting like the things he expressed that HE wanted, were the things he wanted with ME. More times than not, my assumption was for naught.
So I had sex for broken promises.
I had sex for “Thank You, that was great”
I had sex to show that I was committed, a team player.
I had sex to prove my worth.
And got ‘nothing” in return…. nothing to brag about at least…
Hump….. shaking my head….
It took me a looooooooong time to come to a solid conclusion about the value o sex, its purpose in a woman life I mean…
It wasn’t the *body count* that was ‘dishonorable’ or reduced my self worth, it was these MOTHER SUCKIN BYTCHE MADE MEN WHO USED MY VAGINA FOR THEIR BENEFIT WITHOUT RECIPROCATING the benefits they received that TAINTED my soul and my perception of my own SELF worth!!!
Not getting what I was promised is WHAT BROUGHT ME GUILT, PAIN AND SHAME….
That’s a revelation, isn’t it? But if you give it some thought, you might share in my conclusions.
The gag is this: EVERY woman who is NOT a VIRGIN is a WHORE.
AND We ALL will wear these HATS
We are born the MAIDEN. Become the WHORE/WIFE Then The MOTHER Then the WIDOW The typical cycle of a woman life…
So being a whore is an inevitable consequence if you take one dkye in your mouth or 25.
Your goal isn’t to AVOID BECOMING A WHORE!! Your goal is to use your sexuality for the betterment of YOUR life through marriage/commitment/ AND MONEY!!!
If you are JUST looking for pleasure, if you are merely using your vagina as a n instrument for pleasure on your part or HIS, you are wasting your essential slime.
You are putting wear and tear on your body for NO JUST CAUSE.
Sex is GOOD, SEX IS OUTSTANDINGLY MAGNIFICENT in fact IF its accompanied with a PURPOSE and a goal that reaps benefits long after you’ve washed his slime from your cervix.
Mother’s Day is coming and some of you will open your knees in gratitude of the Roses and Roasted Chicken and Mash Potato dinner that you could have bought for yourself..
So what it the truth about your value?
You get to decide/enforce what it is.
No matter what ‘offer’ is put in front of you, YOU still get to say whether its acceptable or not.
And it’s your AGREEMENT with that offer that dictates what you are, NOT THE OFFER ITSELF!!!
The moment you say YES to anything given to you, your value is then etched in stone!
So the moral here is what?
That you are a whore.. And there is nothing in THAT to be ashamed about.
And the ONLY time should be ashamed about putting a penis in your vagina, whether WIFE or GIRLFRIEND is when no stable PROVISIONS accompany your vaginal lubrication.
“PUT ON YOUR BLACK HAT”
Life Coach| Artist| Author| Poet
Art by Salkis Re
So if any of this resonates with you, and you want MORE wisdom personalized to help you fight your insecurities and mediocre relationships, I am your girl.
Why me? Cause I’ve been the underdog for most of my life.
While a painful position it has been, it was also a gift, because people rarely were pretentious around me. People are only compelled to pretentiousness if they feel the need to “Impress” you.
They didn’t with me, BUT this gave me the opportunity to see into people’s souls, to see the true nature of men AND women..
Don’t come to me if you want to feel good. I don’t do any of that. You come to me to solve your problems and most of the time it will not be pleasant, but it will FREE YOU!