I’m Pretty? Ok, What’s the Catch?

African American Art

I can’t help it, I immediately go to suspicion of motives when I here kind words. I can accept a compliment, and I do enjoy them. I just know that there is most often an intention from the giver that drives them to these utterances. It could be as something as them feeling good about themselves so they are compelled to spread the cheer, to someone wanting to hold your attention long enough to invite further conversation. Then there are others who just use it to fish out what you feel about yourself by paying attention to your responses.

Let’s use the weight thing as an example cause I’ve been , skinny and now I”m slim thick I suppose so here:

“You look great in that dress!”

“Oh! this ole thing, maybe 10lbs ago!”.

“Your proportioned very nicely, I think you are perfect!”

You smile as you try to accept the kindness within his words.

He is attractive, so in your mind he can exercise his authority to speak on matters of attractiveness. He has your mind occupied with plethora of possibilities. You finally buy few new things for yourself, and it has been forever since a new dress has touch your thighs. You want more of that reassurance, and he is the only one that has given it to you without asking for anything in return. He is genuine, and humble to think of you as his equal when you clearly do not think of yourself as such. BUT ,you ate the bait, hook, line and sinker. And after a few more episodes of pleasantries that he peppers with affirmations of seeing you the way no one else can, your resistance to any possible falsehood is obliterated!

It is just a dangerous game to engage in the dance of mating when you feel unsure of yourself . You are like an open wound waiting for someone to come and stitch you up because you want them to love what you don’t love about yourself. This my dear will cost you dearly. Commit to self improvement and the accept what is unchangeable about you. This way, you can stay grounded when anyone comes into your life with declarations of loving what they themselves might think of as flaws. Essentially, it’s about knowing exactly who you are, not waiting for someone to affirm things you cannot  independently validate.

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