Damsels Make Distress

African American Art

My mother always said “Even if yuh dun need, yuh need!” Translation: Make a man useful by needing him to do things for you. Now my mom is like me. She is soft and non aggressive, but she definitely gets what ever she wants by being her sweet feminine self. I have been talking a great deal about feminine charm, and us as women need to take another look at the most receptive way to posture in order to have a peaceful and fulfilling relationship.

There is too much blame and vindictiveness going on among us as women. Too many pity party’s and rants about our disappointments in men and not enough effective introspection and behavioral modification. They treat us bad and we respond in kind. Then they treat us bad some more and we rebut with more revenge. The cycle just spins out of control with no end in site.

I really believe that femininity is power. Submissiveness doesn’t have to be jail time if done with a mission to achieve and receive the things you want and desire. Real men are not compelled to care for women who act like men. Having an attitude invites contempt and defensiveness ,not respect. Speak what you want gently yet firmly as if you expect to get it. Ditch the loud, abrasive tone and stand your ground by expectation, not fights.

And if you don’t get what you want, then you pull back quietly. No announcement please!! Just do more of you to fill the space of whatever you were doing for him. BUT, I must say that you should ALWAYS be busy being and doing you. Just because you are in a relationship doesn’t mean you give up your interests and passions. If you start falling off your program, you will become a bore quickly. Be busy with life. ALWAYS. And with sweetness make your demands so he can be the man he is designed to be: a problem solver!

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