The First Time I Had Sex

African Artist

Gosh… I remember it like yesterday. I was 18, naive, low self esteem and scared to death. There was a lot of grunting and pushing and quite a bit of pain. I remember laying there not understanding why I wasn’t feeling good. I kept hoping that it would start feeling like ecstasy I heard so much about. Blood on the bed confirmed my status as my man got up and looked at the bed and me and said “Oh! Your were a virgin for real?”

I was devastated, ashamed, and confused. What do I do now?, I thought. It seems like forever just to finish zipping up my paints. My shame quickly turned to anger though. Not only did he think I was lying about being a virgin, he was insensitive to boot. “Did you cum?, he asked anxiously. Like I knew what the fuck that was. I lied. “Yeah I came twice!”, I said.He smiled and gave me cab money to go home.

I thought about it the whole ride home. I gave up my jewels for this shit!! All my friends got at least 4 years of fucking under their belt and I waited for this? I should have fucked Buster when I had the chance. I used to cut school and go to his apartment in the projects. He would dry hump me for hours cause I refused to take off my pants, He would even cum too,lol That was crazy how I could make him cum fully dressed.. Sigh…
I’d give anything to have my first time back again..I think I deserve a do-over…

I’ve been chasing that do-over ever since…

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